Uncharted Territory
By Mickey M.

Copyright September 1997

I've never felt so nervous, humbled and exhilarated all at once. Never.

"James Andrew Ellison, Baccalaureate in Forestry Sciences, Magna Cum Laude."

The Dean called my name and I stood up and walked across the stage, knees actually a little shaky. I focused inward and calmed myself; concentrated and heard Blair's heartbeat. He was sitting in the front row of the audience, in the seats reserved for faculty. Next to him were Stephen and Simon, who'd driven out together to be here for my moment. All three men were clapping and cheering loudly-my own little personal cheering section.

I was pretty proud, myself. I'd worked my *ass* off for this. I hadn't had anyone cheering for me when I graduated last time either--unless you counted the recruiting agent, who was waiting to bundle me off on a plane to basic training.

I shook hands with the department heads and the dean, then turned to face the audience. My eyes sought out Blair's and I could see the pride and love shining from his. I smiled and the smile was all for him-it was like we were alone, with 1000 people surrounding us.

* * * *

"So you're gonna do what with this degree?" Simon was looking at me over dinner, smiling like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Forest Ranger, if they've got a position open. Search and Rescue if not. I've already applied to the Parks Department and also to the Coconino County Sheriff's office, and the State Police. Oh yeah, and I had an offer from an assets management company, if I was interested in the business admin side of things."

"And are you?" Stephen queried.

Blair smiled at me and squeezed my thigh under the table. They'd taken me to Rosario's, an upscale Italian place in the heart of Flag where they had the best Veal Parmigian I'd ever tasted.

"Nah. I want something a little more hands on. I want...to help. Protect."

"You're not talking about law enforcement, are you?" Simon's deep brown eyes weren't mocking me, only curious.

"No, I'm not. That's a closed chapter now, Simon. I'm talking about watching over...the tribe." It was safe to say things like that in this company--after all, I was with the only other three people who *really* knew me, knew what I was.

I felt warm fingers rub my thigh gently, a gesture of love and support. I shifted and twined my fingers with his, holding his hand tightly. I couldn't have done any of this without Blair's support and assistance, without his backing.

"Well, I for one think it's terrific," my brother was saying. "I'm really proud of you, Jim."

I smiled. It felt good to hear that from *that* person, too.

"Hear, hear," Simon said, raising his glass of wine. "Let's have a toast to Jim, for excelling."

"I'll drink to that," my partner grinned. We drank a toast, then another. It started to get late and I leaned back against the padded booth, snuggling a little next to Blair. He was warm and smelled good. One of the local boutiques near campus had started selling a shampoo/conditioner set that smelled a lot like grass and sun and herbs, all mixed up and bottled. It was wonderful, and if I hadn't loved to just bury my nose in his curls and stay that way before, I did after he switched to that shampoo.

Simon and Blair were arguing good-naturedly over a recent discovery in Malaysia and Stephen was interjecting his own comments from time to time. I sat back and relaxed, watching them, enjoying the first true Peak my Pain had had in nearly five years.

Simon had aged considerably, but then, he was pushing 50, and police work, no matter where you are in the chain, can wear on you. He still looked like he was in shape, keeping himself fit. His expression had mellowed a little over the last few years; maybe it was the woman he'd told us he was dating. Simon's a good man, he deserves to have some happiness in his life.

Stephen looked like Stephen. I don't think my brother ages-at least not so that it shows. Maybe a few more lines around his eyes, but that was about the only outward sign I could see. He'd confided that he'd entered counseling two years ago because he was working his way steadily toward alcoholism. I was proud of him for seeking help and told him so. I'd seen too much of that in my days as a cop--seen too many fellow officers fall into that trap as well.

Blair was...Blair. Older, wiser, less likely to act impulsively, but still inbued with an incredible enthusiasm for life and living. He'd become a unwavering source of support, comfort and love for me. We had bonded in ways that probably most people never experience; true soulmates, meant to be together. Physically he hadn't changed a lot. His hair was a little longer. Silver strands had appeared here and there, lending him an air of dignity. His hands were gesturing wildly, as he was wont to do, adding visual aids to his verbal argument.

He looked up and saw me watching them--him--and smiled. "You look tired, sweetheart. Want to go home?"

I smiled back. "Yeah, I think so. You guys are leaving early tomorrow anyway, right?"

Simon nodded. "I wasn't able to take more than two weeks off--god forbid, there might be a crisis the police chief would have to handle."

We laughed and gathered up our coats, since the wind was still brisk after dark, for all that it was May.

* * * *

We dropped Simon and Stephen off at their motel on our way home. They'd elected to stay in town that night, rather than add an hour to their drive in the morning. I was saddened, a little, at saying goodbye, but glad at the same time for having our privacy back. They'd been here for a week, and while they knew what Blair and I were to each other we'd refrained from making love, having decided it would be a little awkward.

"God, I'm so glad to be done with all this," I sighed as we walked in the door to our cabin. My coat went first, followed by the dress shoes that had been pinching my feet all day. Why couldn't anyone make dress shoes for men that *fit* correctly? Was that really asking too much?

"You are so incredible, babe," Blair told me, pausing in his own uncloaking to press a soft kiss on my lips. "You outdid yourself. Magna cum laude!" He continued to shake his head, smiling.

"What, did I surprise you?" I poked the fireplace, tried to decide if it was worth it to build a fire.

"No...yes...maybe a little," he admitted. "Maybe 'surprised' isn't the right word. I knew you'd do well. There was just so much going on..."

I decided not to bother with the fire after all and replaced the poker. "Yeah, there was a lot, wasn't there? But you managed to work with a lot and got your doctorate, Chief."

He snorted. "Different set of circumstances, Jim, and I was 14 years younger than you were, going into it."

I winced. "Youch! Did you have to phrase it like *that*?"

He smiled. "Sorry--didn't realize you were getting sensitive about your age."

"I'm not," I growled, getting off my knees. My joints creaked a little and Blair grinned even wider. "Shut up, Sandburg."

"Didn't say a word, man."

"You don't have to. It's written all over your face."

He tried valiantly to wipe the goofy expression from his face, but failed miserably. "Sorry, Jim."

"Uh-huh. Want to try and make it up to me?"

His face softened. "Yeah. C'mon, lover, let's go to bed."

* * * *

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered to me as we laid there next to each other. He rolled onto one side, propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at me, ran a finger across my lips. I pursed them and kissed the tip.

"I couldn't have done it without your encouragement," I whispered back. "Thank you."

"For what?" His fingers idly caressed my face, Pushing back and forth gently.

"For everything. Being here, loving me...letting me love you." I rolled onto my side and he leaned in toward me, took my mouth in a whisper-soft kiss, there and gone nearly before it registered.

"I should thank you," he returned breathlessly before he moved over me, pressed me onto my back.

His lips were warm on mine, soft, sweet, gentle. His tongue stroked across mine and I heard a small whimper--from me, I realized. When he drew back I pulled him down again and whispered, "Make love to me?"

"Gladly," he groaned against my mouth, taking it again.

I opened myself up to him, welcomed him in. Blair is a world-class kisser and can still take my breath away, without trying. That night he seemed to have doubled his efforts.

Our bodies moved against each other as we caressed and stroked. He slid his hands down my chest, pinched my nipples until both had budded into hard little peaks which ached and throbbed. I groaned from the multiple sensations flooding my body as he kissed his way downward and took each nipple into his mouth, suckling hard on me.

"Oh, baby..." I moaned and arched into him. He groaned when I threaded my fingers through his hair and held him tight against me.

"I love you, Jim," he said hoarsely as he kissed lower still. My stomach muscles tightened when he Pushed his lips across them.

"Love you, Blair," I answered breathlessly, only to follow it with a harsh cry when his mouth closed over my throbbing cock. "Oh, god! So good...so good..." I clenched my eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of his mouth, hot and wet, sliding up and down me. When he pulled back I cried out. "Blair?"

"Shh, lover...I'm right here." He moved lower, shifting himself between my legs. I drew them up and gasped when he fondled my balls, rolling them in his hands. A single finger, moistened in his mouth, traced a path from my perineum down to my anus, where it circled, then gently rubbed over the sensitive nerves there.

"Please!" I cried, arching upward.

"Easy, babe," he whispered. "Got the lube?"

"Use your tongue...please?"

He hissed an agreement and I tensed slightly when I felt warm heat stroking downward toward my most private part. A soft 'relax' floated up to me and the world spun 'round me as he licked slowly across my opening.

"Blair!" I bucked my hips, trying to increase the sensation, to drive him into me.

"Lie still," he ordered gently, pushing my hips down. "I want to make this good for you, sweetheart," he mumbled as he bent to his task again. Warm lips caressed the insides of my thighs before he spread me apart with his hands and leaned down to lick me again. I Paced myself against the bed, clutched the sheets in an effort to hold on. The breath I'd been holding exploded from my lungs when he pressed the tip of his tongue into me, before retreating to flick it rapidly back and forth across my entrance again.

He repeated this over and over, thrusting a little further each time, until I was writhing on the bed. By the time he slid his fingers into me I was nearly incoherent with need, pressing up against him with a ragged groan.

"You're so good, baby," he groaned into my ear as he eased me onto my side. "I love you, Jim. I love being inside you, taking the gift you offer me. Let me love you, babe...give a little back..."

"Please," I whispered, shifting my head so his lips could caress my neck. His fingers, cool now with lube, slid into me again and I shuddered. They moved slowly in and out of me, drawing me into a vortex of desire. "Now, Blair...please, now," I managed, my voice rough with need.

He shifted my legs and pressed against me, his cock hot and hard. With a groan of relief he slid into my body, gasped when I tightened around him.

We moved together, slowly, rocking at first, building the momentum. I stroked my cock in time to our gentle motions, slowly picking up speed as he did. The blood rushed through him, pulsed madly in his swollen member. I could feel it beneath the silken, heated skin that covered his cock; felt the bumps that signified veins beneath his skin. His pelvis behind me was hard, his pubic bush soft and wiry at the same time. Tiny changes in his breathing told me he was getting close at the same time he grew harder within me. I increased my stroking when I felt his body beginning to tremble.

"Love you, Jim," he whispered again as he leaned down and gently bit my ear. I shuddered in his arms and twisted my head, lips angling for his.

We shared an awkward kiss as my body tightened and spasmed, contracted around his. I felt the heat of my orgasm rip through me, ending in the thick, warm fluid that spilled onto my hand. He grasped my hips, pulled me tightly against him as he thrust into me hard once, twice, his own liquid heat filling me as his body stiffened and a wordless cry echoed through the room.

The last thing I remembered that night was falling asleep with his arms around me, our bodies still joined together.

* * * *

Good news, bad news. Why did our lives never seem to get one without the other?

"Department of Agriculture called today," Blair greeted me when I walked in that afternoon. I'd been up at the ranger's station all day, helping out since it'd been vacated. Hoping the person who filled it would be me.

"Yeah?"

"They want you to interview in Phoenix day after tomorrow. I told them I'd have you call them back tomorrow morning."

"Ohmigod," I whispered.

"Jim?"

"God, this is for real, isn't it?"

"Jim...man, relax. They only want to interview you."

"Has to work out, Chief. It has to."

I'd graduated six weeks before. Things were moving too slowly for my liking, though Blair assured me that something would come up. Where in the hell he got his enthusiasm and positive attitude was beyond me. I looked back up at him and realized there was more.

"What?"

"Huh?" He wrinkled his forehead at me.

"You have something else to tell me. What is it?"

He took his glasses off and set them on the kitchen table. When he ran a hand nervously through his hair I knew we were in big trouble.

"Blair...baby, what is it?"

He took a deep breath before replying. "They want me to go to Africa, Jim."

Africa. Damn! I heard a growl and recognized it as my own voice. We'd thought that maybe we'd be lucky and he wouldn't be asked on this one...

"Jim? You still with me, man?"

I found my voice. "Yeah," I answered, surprised I could still form the word. "When do you leave, Chief?"

Something that looked like relief spread across his face and he slumped down a little in his chair. "You're not upset?"

"Of course I'm upset!" I yelled. "What else would I be?" Then I saw the hurt--and the pain--in his eyes and I lowered my voice. "I'm sorry, Chief. I didn't mean to..."

"I know," he offered quietly. "It was a shock to me too, but I've had a little time to get used to it." His eyes widened at that and I knew he hadn't meant to tell me that.

I inhaled deeply, trying to keep my voice even. "How long have you known?"

"Jim--"

"C'mon, Sandburg. How long?"

God, the expression on his face looked like he'd just kicked a dog or something.

"Just before the semester ended." The whisper was so low *I* almost missed it.

"WHAT??"

"Hey, man, I didn't want to ruin graduation for you," he defended himself.

"So when do you leave?"

"Two weeks."

"They're not giving you much time, are they?" The look on his face made me suspicious. "You accepted back then, didn't you?"

He nodded, his eyes flashing up to meet mine, almost defiant. "You were so happy," he began. "I didn't want to mess anything up. I wanted you to be able to enjoy the moment--reap the rewards from working so hard for so long without me putting a damper on things."

I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. I had a hell of a headache all of a sudden. "I just wish you'd told me, Blair. I feel like I hardly have a chance to adjust before you'll be gone." Inside I was hurt. Why hadn't he told me? Didn't he think it was important enough to share with me? What was happening here?

"Do you still love me?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He froze in place, his eyes wide with shock. "What the hell kind of question is that?" he demanded, those incredible eyes flashing blue fire at me.

"A legitimate one?" I rubbed a hand across my face. "I'm sorry, Chief. You just caught me so out of left-field with that one...I just wish you'd have told me. I feel almost...betrayed, somehow. Like you didn't care enough--"

Now *I* felt like *I'd* kicked the dog, from the expression on his face. He stood up, hands fidgeting nervously with the hem of his shirt.

"I love you, Jim, more than I'll ever be able to tell you. I've watched you work your butt off over the last five years to earn your degree; you put up with moving across the country for me; gave up time from your schedule when I got so sick...we both knew, deep down, that I was going to go on this study...I just wanted to give you a chance to relax a little before I hit you with the news."

He stood in front of me and I drew him down beside me on the couch, brought my hands up to frame his face.

"I love *you*, Chief, and I couldn't have done the work without help from you. As for the rest of it? I moved because I wanted to, because *we* were important to me--and still are--" I kissed his nose and forehead. "I took care of you while you were sick because that's what partners do for each other, Junior. Yeah, I guess I figured you'd be going...but then so much time went by and you didn't say anything..." I pulled him close and nuzzled his ear. "God, I wish I could just wrap you in my arms and never let go."

"Me too," he mumbled from somewhere around my chest area.

"Don't ever keep anything from me, Blair. What affects you affects me, okay? I can't believe you--" I stopped, not wanting to start the argument again. "Just don't do that again, okay? Please. It's almost like you're trying to shield me or something. I don't want you to shield me, Blair. I want to *be* there for you, not find things out by accident, or second hand--or when they blow up in our face."

He flushed hotly with that last one and I almost felt guilty for it. It *was* a low blow, because not everyone who gets stomachaches winds up with appendicitis.

"Blair?" I turned and tipped his head back a little. "You listening, Chief?"

"I hear you, Jim."

"Yeah, but are you listening? That's the key word here."

"I'm listening," he said shortly. His face grew dark then, his pupils dilated. I watched the storm spread through him in fascination and trepidation. "I can't believe you questioned that I love you," he said finally.

"I wasn't really questioning it," I began, only to be cut off.

"No-you were questioning, all right. You were just so caught up in your little tirade you didn't stop to consider how that would sound to me, did you?"

"Blair--"

"Then you have the goddamned nerve to lecture me about listening, like I'm some kind of *kid*--that's how you see me, isn't it? Like a kid?"

"NO!" I shouted, trying to get him to hear me. "No. Blair, I was hurt. You held back telling me something important that affects us both...it hurt, baby. I wanted to hurt you, make you feel as bad as I did."

"It worked," he muttered, deflating as the storm passed over.

"I'm sorry," we said simultaneously, then laughed awkwardly at ourselves. We fought so rarely that neither one of us really knew what to do or say for a few minutes afterward; we just waited for the storm to move away completely and for things to quiet down.

We sat there on the couch for a while, quietly, not saying anything to each other. We'd fought more viciously before, said things far worse than anything exchanged here today, but somehow this one hurt worse. Maybe because we both knew we were about to be separated? That we were wasting precious time saying words that hurt? I don't know. I didn't then and I still don't.

Finally I got to me feet, propelled by the need to go to the bathroom. When I returned Blair had stood up and was staring out the picture window we have that faces the mountains. I stood behind him and put my arms around him, watched our reflections in the window glass.

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to go to Africa. I don't want to leave you."

"I know, babe." I slid my arms around his waist and gripped him tightly. "I don't want you to leave either, but I guess we'll have to manage." I could feel his body under my hands, tight and tense.

He turned in my arms and stretched his own up and around my neck, drawing us closer together. I leaned down to kiss him but he eluded me, stretching around slightly to whisper in my ear, "Fuck me. Mark me as yours so everyone will know."

My hands actually shook a little as I pulled myself back from him. His eyes were dark and dilated, this time from something other than anger. I could read the need in them, felt the heat rising in his body. "Afraid you'll forget?" I couldn't quite keep the waver out of my voice.

"I'll never forget," he assured me in a rough whisper, "but I want you to mark it indelibly on my soul. Yours forever, lover," he finished, pulling my head down to his for a rough kiss.

I growled low in my throat and ground my mouth down on his, the blood-lust rising in me now. Who says we've evolved from our primitive ancestors? Some actions are no different today than they were then.

Our tongues struggled for domination, stroking and rubbing against each other, until he bit my lip. I groaned and bit him back, then sucked it, then bit again. I heard him moan, felt his hands moving down my body, stroking me. I slid my hands down his ass until I was cupping his cheeks in my palms, stroking and kneading the firm flesh there. He wantonly ground himself forward into my pelvis, then backward into my hands, forcing a deep, shuddering groan from me.

"Blair--" I managed.

"Do it, Jim. Fuck me," he whispered, pulling his mouth away from my neck where it had wandered. "Take me upstairs and fuck me."

"What if I want you down here? Flat on your belly on the rug and spread wide open for me?" I felt his pulse leap with my words and I thrust a hand between us and roughly massaged his throbbing cock. He arched into the touch and I squeezed, heard his moan.

"Yes," he sighed in a voice so heavy with need I nearly took him right there.

Instead I reached down and cupped his ass again, then picked him up. He wrapped his legs around my waist, clung to my neck. I plundered his mouth with my tongue, welcoming the submission I sensed in his response. He shuddered as I moved from his mouth to his neck, biting and sucking hard. I followed the pattern of his neck moving to his collarbone, pressing a hard sucking kiss on tender skin before biting sharply. He cried out with each one, then gave a ragged sob of pleasure when I licked it, easing the sting somewhat.

I moved us over to the large rug in front of the fireplace, then slowly lowered him until his feet touched the floor once again. He stood before me on unsteady legs as I unbuttoned his shirt, then his jeans. When his swollen cock was freed from his pants he moved again, started undoing my buttons. I pushed his hands away, commanded roughly, "stroke yourself for me," then undid my own buttons.

He swallowed then began caressing his cock, first with one finger, then two, finally with his entire hand. He pumped himself, leaning back a little, showing off. I forced myself to calm down a little, drew in several deep breaths. He looked so beautiful standing there, stroking his hard, swollen cock, the tip already wet with pre-ejaculate.

I leaned in and kissed him again, gentler this time, though no less urgent. He seemed to sense the urgency and returned it, his movements growing a little more frantic. I guided his free hand to my own throbbing cock and set a rhythm, moving into his hand in time with his own strokes before the need in me grew too great.

"Down on the rug, baby," I gasped, Peaking the kiss. "On your stomach."

His answer was a small whimper when I moved away. "Jim?"

"Lube, babe. Gotta have some--" I looked around frantically. We usually kept some downstairs, but had run out the other night. We hadn't been to the store yet, and I didn't want to go upstairs. My eyes fell on the bottle of aloe gel I'd been using to help the windburn I was getting up at the station.

He was on his stomach, facing away from me, ass cheeks gleaming in the late-afternoon sunshine. I knelt next to him and stroked a hand over them, squeezing the springy flesh gently. "Beautiful," I whispered reverently. "So beautiful."

He arched his ass into my touch, his body already moving beneath my hand.

"Do it, Jim, please. I'm ready...I want you..."

I squirted some of the aloe onto my hand and slid a finger into him. He was already loosening up, relaxing around me. Two fingers, thrusting quickly, setting the pace. I slathered some of the gel onto my cock, gritted my teeth as I surged into my own hand. I spread his legs further apart and moved between them, ran a finger up and down the curve and into his crack. He moaned quietly and shifted his legs further apart.

I reached down and spread his cheeks with one hand, placed myself at his entrance with the other. He groaned when I pushed into him, then pushed himself backward, impaling himself on me.

"Oh, god, Blair..." I moaned quietly as he tightened around me, enough heat to sear me all the way down.

"Yeah, Jim...give it to me, fuck me, do me hard..." he panted the last couple of words, grunting when I pressed myself against him before beginning a bruising rhythm.

Over and over and over, I brought us to the Pink of orgasm only to slow down, rock within him for a moment. My heart was pounding like mad and his pulse was thundering through his veins, cracking like thunder in my ears. I did it one last time, slowed down, nearly pulled out, when he reared up against me, pushing me back into him.

"Let me come!" he screamed, slamming himself into me.

I pushed him flat against the floor and laid on top of him, supporting my weight with my arms. I pounded myself into him, beads of sweat dripping into my eyes. The salt stung, but I couldn't stop now--I was too close.

Blair rubbed his body hard against the rug, wiggling slightly on our downward thrusts. The only thing I don't like about the particular position we were using was I can't reach down and stroke his cock--or watch him stroke himself--while we make love. I leaned down and bit gently at his neck, increasing the pressure with each thrust.

He screamed when I bit down hard and pushed upward, driving me deep into his body. I felt myself spasming even as he started, body clenching around me. We rode the orgasm out together, straining sweaty bodies pushing against one another, until we collapsed in a sated heap on the floor.

I rolled off him and fell onto my back, wiped the sweat from my eyes. God, that was a hard ride. I must have muttered it out loud because he responded.

"But a good one."

I looked up at him to see him kneeling next to me. Ugh. Where'd he find the energy to get up, much less do anything else?

"You okay, Jim?"

"I'll be fine in a few, Chief. Just wore the old man out, is all."

"You're not old, lover," he grinned. "Just well-seasoned."

"Thanks," I remarked dryly. "I don't think that sounds any better."

He smirked at me until I coaxed him back into my arms and shut him up the best way I knew how.

* * * *

Phoenix, compared to Flagstaff, is a *huge* area. Actually, compared to a lot of cities. It's rapidly turned into one of the larger metropolitan areas in the southwest, having grown considerably even since we'd moved to the area.

Blair rode down with me. He liked the heat of the desert in the summer, whereas I enjoyed Phoenix more in the winter. Actually, we'd decided the night before that we weren't going to spend any time we didn't have to, apart, until he left for Africa.

God, I hadn't been on a job interview in...well, in longer than I cared to think about. My lover fussed over me, dressed me in a suit, then proclaimed me ready to 'knock 'em dead'. All I hoped for was a job.

* * * *

"Well?" He demanded when I exited the conference room. I could tell he knew the answer by the grin spreading across his face, but I shook my head and guided him to the elevator.

"In a minute," I told him, not wanting to get carried away in a government office. It's one thing to be open about being in a same-sex relationship; it's something else altogether to rub someone's face in it--especially when that someone is now your employer.

Blair lasted ten seconds after we walked out onto the sidewalk. "You got it, didn't you?" At my nod he gave a whoop of laughter and jumped me, jarring me against the building when he kissed me.

I gripped him hard, squeezing. I could feel myself shaking from the adrenaline surging through me. "I got it...I got it...I got it..." I whispered the words over and over as Blair nuzzled my neck, humming a bright tune under his breath.

"I knew you'd do it, sweetheart," he said when we both came back down to the ground a few minutes later.

Someone passed by us and muttered, "perverts!" which reminded me we were standing out on a public sidewalk, necking like teenagers.

"Let's take this party somewhere private," I mumbled into Blair's ear.

So we did. And you know what? Celebration sex is *almost* as good as make-up sex.

* * * *

Tomorrow was D-day. This was, I reflected, a lot like the night before the 'one year deadline', in certain ways. If nothing else, it had kept me awake all night when I only wanted to sleep. Well, maybe not. I curled onto my side and watched Blair sleep, listened to his breathing. I couldn't even imagine what the next twelve months were going to be like. New job or no, I was going to miss him with every fiber of my being.

It shocked me then to realize that, aside from the ten days he spent in the hospital five years ago, we hadn't been apart for more than a day or so at a time--and all that was *before* we moved to Flagstaff. Back when I was a cop and he was a student and the world was still sane.

I snorted at that thought. There hadn't been *anything* sane about any of our time together. We came together, professionally, under strange circumstances, and that became the defining factor of our relationship. Simon had often commented that there was 'nothing normal about the two of you'. Well, maybe, maybe not. We loved one another without reason or hesitation. Fights aside--and they were, admittedly, few and far between--we meshed so well that we'd ceased to see each other as 'individuals', rather, two pieces that made a whole.

How would I do without him by my side? How would he do, without the same? We were, obviously, still individuals, with the same talents, strengths and weaknesses we'd always had. Our greatest strength though was our bond with one another. The whole was so much more than just the sum of the pieces. Together we could overcome almost anything--and had, several times.

Now, on the eve of a new career for me, and a potentially career-defining study for him, we were going to have to go it alone. I sighed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulled him closer to me. He snuffled in his sleep and I envied him his ability to *sleep*. He didn't do it a lot, but when he needed to, he did.

"I love you, Blair. Never, ever, forget that," I whispered before pushing a gentle kiss across his forehead. "Never forget."

~finis~

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