Terms of Endearment
By Mickey M.
© February 1997

The blond hooker, Greta, wasn't giving up any information on the bombings, and Jim was starting to believe that she really didn't know anything. He looked up as Blair came in from his morning classes, greeting various officers along the way to Jim's desk.

Greta turned, saw him, and reached her hand out just as Blair walked by. She got a handful of asscheek, and purred, "Hello, schatzi, and who are you?"

Blair turned abruptly, stammering, and getting his 'talking to a girl' face on. "Blair Sandburg," he managed, taking her hand from his thigh and shaking it briskly.

Jim laughed, and told her, "Hands off my partner, Greta," as he stood. "You're all done; just let me know if you hear anything, all right?"

She stood, now looking down at Blair, and purred, "You got it. Take care, schatzi," she finished, stroking Blair's face with her hand, a thumb running slowly across his lips. Then she turned and left.

Jim sat down again, looking up amusedly at Blair, who was still standing, mouth half-open, jeans beginning to tent. "Ahem! Oh, Schatzi!"

"Huh?!" Blair came back to earth, sitting abruptly.

"So, how's your day going?" Jim asked innocently.

"Fine, just fine," came the distracted answer.

"Glad to hear it... Schatzi."

Blair became aware of his surroundings, and gave Jim a look of distaste. "Do you think we could stick to 'Blair' or 'Chief'?"

"Problem with the new nickname, Chief?"

"I think a person can only answer to just so many names, don't you, Jim?"

"Well, not being a nickname-person myself..." Jim's eyes took on a gleam then, and he lowered his voice. "You could try sometime, though..."

Blair smiled wickedly at him, and reached for the open file on Jim's desk.

**************************************

They were laying in bed that night, bodies sweaty with exertion, and Jim decided to try again. "Hey, schatzi." 

Blair sighed. "Jim..."

"C'mon, Chief. It's a cute name."

"*Cute*? You want to call me something you think is *cute*? What's so wrong with 'Chief' all of a sudden?" 

"I call you Chief all the time...how about something I call you when it's just the two of us?"

"Can I call you 'stud'?"

"I think you did, about 20 minutes ago..."

"Oh. Well, how about if you prove it again?" Blair turned to Jim and pulled the other man hard against him. "Or better yet, maybe I'll stud for you..."

"Promises, promises," Jim whispered against his lips as Blair's tongue began thrusting into his mouth, and the quibble over names was forgotten.

Jim moaned into Blair's mouth then, as their bodies began rubbing against each other; flesh against flesh causing erections to harden in turn, creating a delicious friction. Blair bent his head to nuzzle at Jim's nipples. He licked each one, then blew on them, causing them to harden into tight little points. Jim groaned as Blair's hands feathered across his chest, worrying at the hard little buds before moving further down. One of Blair's hands snaked down, under his balls, and began probing at his asshole. He shuddered and shifted his legs further apart. Blair probed delicately around the edge of his anus, and Jim felt his body clenching and relaxing in anticipation. Blair drew back then, and slapped him lightly on the butt. "You know the drill, Hotshot. Legs up."

Jim turned onto his back and positioned his legs as Blair groped for the lubricant. He tensed for a moment, then groaned low in his throat as the greased finger slid easily into him. Blair moved the finger gently in and out, rotating it slightly, until Jim was moving his hips. Blair slid another greased finger in, and began thrusting a little harder, a little faster. "Ah, yeah...oh, God...Schatzi..." Jim moaned.  

Blair slowed the motion just a fraction, then shrugged his shoulders. Whatever. A low growl brought him back to the present, and he leaned over his writhing partner and gently bit at Jim's nipples, licking at them when Jim moaned with the pleasure/pain. "You ready, Hotshot?"

"Oh, yeah...give it to me, schatzi...fuck me..." Jim was thrusting his hips, trying to push Blair's fingers deeper into him. He gave a little cry when Blair withdrew his fingers, but grunted with satisfaction as Blair moved in between his legs. Jim hooked his right leg over Blair's shoulder, and brought the other one around his waist. Blair lubed his cock, and placed it at Jim's entrance. Jim sighed, feeling the pressure. "Now..." He breathed. Blair began to gently thrust forward.

"God, Jim...you're tight...Mmm..." Blair closed his eyes to savor the sensation, then thrust further in. Jim moaned wordlessly beneath him, pushing his hips against Blair. He didn't want it slow and easy. He wanted Blair, now. Blair pushed harder, and felt himself buried within Jim, his cock throbbing in the hot, tight channel. "Okay...Jim?"

"Yeah, baby. Give it to me...Hard." Blair braced himself, and began thrusting into Jim, going faster and harder in response to Jim's own thrusts and moans of pleasure. "Oh, yeah...like that...oh, that's good, baby..."

Blair bent his head and nipped at Jim's lips, then thrust his tongue into his lover's mouth; imitating his thrusting into Jim's body. Jim sucked on the tongue, then dueled with it with his own. They devoured the other's mouth while they slammed their bodies into each other.

Blair tore his mouth away from Jim's with a gasp, and began biting at his neck, nipping at the tender skin behind his ear, and at the nape of his neck; tasting the sweat that was gathering there. He looked down at Jim, saw the clear blue eyes dilating and heard him growl, "Schatzi...now!" Jim's hips thrust up at him, and he felt Jim's sphincter clench around him. He gave a shout and came into Jim; felt Jim erupt under him, coating both of them with warm, sticky fluid.

He collapsed onto Jim's stomach, grinning. "Okay, Hotshot. Who's the stud now?" He asked, once he'd gotten his breath back.

"Mmm...I'm still gonna call you 'Schatzi'. I like it."

"I can't change your mind?"

"Nope."

"Fine. You get the wet spot."

Jim snickered. "Small price to pay."

"Huh."

They cuddled together then, and fell asleep.

**************************************

"It means *WHAT*?" Blair couldn't help it; his voice raised to a near shriek.

Tonia looked around. No one else was near, but still... "Blair, calm down. Jim probably doesn't know." 

"He'd better not," Blair grumbled ominously. "Are you sure, Tonia?" He knew the answer as soon as he'd asked the question. Tonia was one of his closest friends; they'd known each other for years. Not only did she speak German fluently, she *was* German.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "And how many years have I called German my native tongue? Just because I speak English so well doesn't mean I've forgotten my German."

"Snookums." Blair could barely say the word.

"Well, people use it for that, or 'sweetheart'. Pretty much the former though."

Blair rolled his eyes. "He's been calling me that for days, now. In fact, that's almost exclusively what he calls me, if we're alone. He slips sometimes at the station...What am I gonna do?"

"You could start by telling him what it means." Tonia eyed him. "Is it the name, or the meaning that bothers you?"

"I'm not sure. Something was weird about it from the start. But it's weirder knowing what it means." 

"Blair...if he's using it as an endearment--that's what it means, after all."

"I know, Tonia. But I always kind of thought of 'Chief' as the endearment, you know? That was what he called me from the start, and it's taken on different meanings." Blair sighed in frustration. "I gotta run. I'm like, so late now, Jim'll kill me when I show up." He stood and ran a hand distractedly through his hair. "Thanks a lot, Tonia."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Let's have lunch one of these days, hmm?" 

"Yeah. I'll -- no, *you* call me. We'll plan around your schedule."

"Gotcha...Schatzi." Tonia grinned at the face Blair made at her. "Go talk to him, Blair. Make him understand it bothers you, and I'm sure he'll stop."

//Right. Stop Jim from doing something he wanted to do? Better to try to stop the sun from rising.// Blair smiled weakly, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and headed for his car.

****************************************

"It means *what*?" Jim watched Blair's face in amazement. He wasn't joking.

"Snookums. Sweetheart. Tonia said both, but it tends more toward the former." Blair looked at Jim, eyes pleading. "Please, Jim. Can't you go back to 'Chief'?"

They were sitting at the table, eating dinner. Blair had wanted to bring the subject up all day, but no *way* was he going to start that conversation at the station. Most of the people they worked with knew that he and Jim were more than just friends or partners, but some things were better left to off-duty hours. This was *definitely* one of those things.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Jim was curious. Most stuff like this, Sandburg just let roll off his shoulders. And since when did a nickname have the ability to rattle him like that? There must be more to it than met the eye. 

"I don't know," Blair snapped, suddenly irritated. "But I'm asking you to please not call me that anymore, okay?" He met Jim's eyes. "Please."

"Okay...I'll try. I have to admit though, Sch--er, Chief...I've gotten used to it."

"So get *unused* to it, for cryin' out loud! It's a nickname! You've called me Chief for almost two years, and schatzi for two weeks. Surely some things can overcome others?" Blair didn't wait for a reply. He pushed back from the table, and headed for his old room, which was now his office.

***********************************

He didn't come out for a long time. Jim cleared the table, and did the dishes, and was settling in for a night of TV before Blair reappeared, looking slightly calmer, but no less determined.

"Hi."

"Hi, Schatzi. Chief. Sorry, babe. It's gonna take some time."

Blair gritted his teeth. "It *shouldn't*, Jim. Come on, work with me here, please?"

"Blair...why does it bother you?"

"I. Don't. Know. Just STOP it, okay?" He turned away from Jim and headed for the kitchen. "Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks."

Blair got a glass of water, drained it, and returned to the living area. "I'm going to go to bed. Are you coming?" 

"Be right up."

Blair headed up the stairs, thoughts scrambling in his brain. Why *did* he mind it so much? It was *just* a name...an endearment. Maybe because he wasn't sure what the feelings were that motivated the man who was using it? 

**************************************

The next week proved to be a very trying one. As much as Jim promised to stop calling him 'schatzi', every time he turned around that damned name was being thrown in his face. It had become an obsession. For both of them. It seemed to Blair as if Jim were trying to use the name on purpose--he'd even used it several times at the station, something he hadn't done much before Blair began to make an issue out of it. Blair began walking around with a chip on his shoulder, and it was starting to manifest itself in their private life.

The evening began like any number of others: Dinner, chatting about the day's events, some down time after dishes. Blair was wound tighter than a spring, and Jim wondered what would happen when the spring tightened too much. He draped his arm around Blair, and felt the younger man tense under him. He drew back in concern. "What's wrong, Schatzi?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew what was wrong--and that he'd just made it worse. Blair gave him the blackest look he'd ever seen from his lover, and, jumping up from the couch, practically ran from the loft. The door slammed behind him, and Jim stared at it, stunned. Shit. He'd pushed too far.

Blair drove around for hours, finally stopping at an all-night diner. He sat there, feeling broken up inside, staring down at the spoon he was twirling in a cup of coffee. Schatzi. Why couldn't he reconcile it within himself? Jim was using it as a term of endearment--of course, what if that changed? At least 'Chief' had other meanings--friendship, for one; although Blair had interpreted it as an endearment for the last six months that they'd been lovers. Lovers. That was what this was really all about, wasn't it? He and Jim were lovers, but were they anything else? He loved Jim--with all his heart and soul. He didn't know if Jim felt the same way about him. Maybe that's what made it such a touchy subject. An endearment was something to call him--if he were loved. He sighed. Back to square one. Blair signaled for his check, paid, and headed for his car. It was getting late, or early, depending on how you wanted to view it.

Time to head home.

***************************************

The key turning in the lock startled Jim from his light doze. He snapped wide awake as Blair walked into the loft.

"Where in the hell have you been?" Jim's harsh whisper startled Blair, and he jumped slightly.

"Out. Thinking."

Jim got off the couch, approached Blair cautiously. "Are you okay? Please, Blair...talk to me." 

"Yeah--I've just got a lot of things on my mind." Blair stood his ground, staring at Jim.

"I'm sorry about the schatzi thing, Chief. I just--wanted something different to call you, to separate our public and private lives. Something that would mean *just* love, not the rest of it."

Blair stopped Jim with a hand against his chest. "You love me?"

Jim gave him an astonished stare. "For months now. Before we became lovers. You knew that."

Blair shook his head. "No...I didn't. I knew *I* loved *you*. I didn't know for sure how you felt about me--other than to want me."

Jim shook his own head. "Oh, baby...I thought you knew...I wasn't sure how you felt, so I didn't want to say anything..." 

"God, Jim." Blair grabbed Jim around the waist, and felt the bigger man pull him close into an embrace. "I love you, Jim." 

"I love you, Blair. I honest-to-God thought you knew."

"That's why 'schatzi' bothered me so much, Jim. Because I couldn't figure out how to justify a term like that with what I wasn't sure you felt."

"So you're okay if I call you that now?"

"As long as it's just at home, or when we're alone, yeah."

"Schatzi..." Jim leaned down and kissed Blair, a light, teasing kiss.

Blair didn't want teasing, he wanted promises. He ground his body into Jim's as he raised his arms to pull Jim's head closer to his. Jim groaned as Blair's mouth ravaged his own, and he pulled the slighter man closer. "Schatzi..." Jim whispered again, as he drew Blair down onto the couch with him.

~finis~

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