March 16, 1997
Jim,
You just left and I had to rush upstairs and write this.
God, it was so hard, Jim. I stood there on the sidewalk, watching the truck speed away out of my sight, out of my life. I know that sounds downright cynical. I can't help it. People have been coming in and out of my life since I was a kid.
I'm worried about nothing, I know. You'll come back. It's just a matter of time. Guess I'm being melodramatic. So what else is new?
This weekend was wonderful. I didn't think it would ever be this good. I feel like I've come home. I'm just sorry I ruined it by that temper tantrum this morning. You made that crack about me wanting you gone and for one horrified moment, I thought you believed that. I couldn't help it, I freaked out. I felt like I was drowning in the depression I had created for myself and you thought I wanted you gone?! It couldn't have been further from the truth. I wanted you to stay, big guy. I hope you know that. I know you know that.
I even thought about using your handcuffs....Aw, but that's another story. Hopefully, just thinking about it will keep you entertained on those long stakeouts.
Maybe I worry too much, think too much, feel too much. Of course, you already knew that, too. It's scary how well you know me, Jim. It's kinda weird, too. No one's really taken the time to get to know me. Being transient most of my life kind of supports that.
But those days are over, love. I've stopped roaming. I'm home to stay. As long as you'll have me...
Love,
Blair
March 19, 1997
Hey, Chief:
I got your letter today... Talk about timing! I was in a deep funk, and hearing from you at least brightened the day a little bit. The hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life was leaving you the other morning. That right there says a lot to me--it never bothered me much to say goodbye to Carolyn. Sure, I'd miss her, but not like the pain I felt leaving you. And as far as having you--count on forever, Chief. I'm in for the long haul here.
How's your neck? Mine itches... You really weren't kidding when you said you were going to do some marking of your own, were you? I can see the speculation in everyone's face when they watch me scratch. 'Hey, Ellison--get lucky this weekend?' If they only knew...
Oh, speaking of luck: Phone number is...604-323-4456. That rings into my townhouse, or whatever it is. If you need to get a hold of me, just leave a message--it has voice mail, or something. I'll call you back. I probably won't pick it up-- unless I know for a fact that you're calling--because they have a *lot* of phone sales stuff over here, and I'm not interested in getting on the phone with someone whose only goal in life is to sell me something I don't want or need. Sorry. Long day. They all seem long, lately. I'm glad you'll be up here in a few more days.
I miss you, Blair. I miss holding you, touching you, tasting you...get the picture? I miss the way your body arches into mine when you come...the sound of your voice as you call out my name. This goes way beyond sex though. It's more like a necessary connection--something I have to have. It almost scares me, sometimes, it's so strong. Do you feel the same way? I wonder if there's any connection between us as Sentinel and Guide...? (Don't disappoint me here, Chief. I *know* you have an opinion on that.)
As for the handcuffs... Thanks a lot, buddy. I'll *never* get that image out of my head now.
You didn't ruin anything, either, babe. I understand the feelings that motivated your temper--I was having trouble controlling mine. I've never felt such an all-consuming love/need/desire for anyone as I feel for you. Anyone. That's an awesome feeling for me, Chief. Maybe there's more to this 'throw back to a pre-civilized breed of man' thing than we thought--you certainly seem to bring out the caveman urges in me.
On an up note--we seem to be making progress in our case. You know I can't give you details, but things are finally starting to turn around in favor of the good guys. That's a nice change. Might get this wrapped up yet. Then I'll be home for good, and you'll never get rid of me.
Well, I better finish this up so I can get it in the mail. I love you, Blair. Never forget that. I'll be home as soon as I can.
Love,
Jim
<phone ringing>
<click> "You've reached Detective James Ellison. I'm unavailable, so leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as possible. Thanks."
<beep>
"Jim? Jim--where are you? I need to talk to you right away! You'll never believe what's happened, I need you to call me back right away...hurry, it's urgent!"
<phone ringing>
<click> "Hey, you've reached Ellison and Sandburg--neither one of us can come to the phone right now; leave a message if you want."
<beeeeeeeeeeeep>
"Blair? Chief, where the hell are you? This is the third call-- yours said urgent, why aren't you there? *Please* call me back ASAP!"
<phone ringing>
"Ellison."
"Hey, Jim."
<sigh> "Chief--where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? It's hours since I tried you--What's going on?"
"Yeah, what's up with you, man? You had the tape full."
"You implied it was an emergency."
"Oh, yeah...well, it is, sort of."
"Okay--so what is it?"
"Um...Simon wants me down at the station next week-- He asked me to help him out with some filing and paperwork."
"Yeah? And?"
"Well, Jim, next week is spring break, remember?"
"Oh. Fuck. Shit--what'd you tell him?"
"What could I tell him? He wants me to come in. What could I say? I didn't think you wanted to say anything to anyone yet."
"No... Shit. I wanted you up here--"
"Yeah, but unless we tell Simon..."
"I know. Well, damn. I guess we just wait then, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Dammit, that's all we can do--wait."
"God, this sucks! Man, why is it that I feel like we're fighting the tide here? Like there's some force trying to keep us apart?"
"Don't go getting paranoid on me, babe. Simon doesn't know."
"Yeah, I know. Still..."
"It's okay, Chief. We're getting close on this case...it won't be much longer, I hope."
"I hope so too, Jim. I really miss you."
"I miss you too, babe. Hey, what's playing in the background?"
"Mmm...ritual music. I'd have to look at the CD to know for sure what it is. You really want to know?"
"No...no, it's okay. It's kind of...I don't know. Different."
"Yeah--I like it. Makes me feel loose."
"That's it. It's almost...erotic, somehow."
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"No, never mind."
"What?"
"You'd think it's silly."
<sigh> "I won't know until you tell me."
<silence>
"Blair?"
"Want to... No, never mind."
"Blair...just say what's on your mind, okay?"
"I want to-- let's... Want to have phone sex?"
<pause> "Are you serious?"
"See? I told you you'd think it's silly."
"I didn't say that, Chief. You just caught me off guard. I don't know--I wouldn't even know how or where to start."
"Just do what feels natural." <zipping noise>
"Was that what I think it was?"
"What did you think it...Ahhh....was?" <rubbing noise>
"Blair! What are you doing?"
"Getting in the spirit of things, Jim. Why don't you?"
......
"Jim? Just undo your pants, and--"
<zip> "Got it, Chief. Ohhh..."
"Oh, yeah. Feel good, big guy?"
"Mmmhmm." <rubbing noise>
"Are you stroking yourself, Jim?"
"Yes. And imagining it's you touching me..." <wet rubbing noise>
"Oh, God...yes...I'm touching your cock..." <faster rubbing noise>
"Shit, Blair..." <moan>
"Oh, baby...Jim...come for me..." <rub><moan>
<pant><moan>
<groan><pant>
"Chief...you feel so good...touch me, harder..." <groan><rub>
"Ah, Jim...I'm so hard...all for you, lover..." <rubbing noise>
<sob><groan>
"Like that, lover? Are you gonna come for me?" <rubbing noises>
"Oh, yeah..." <groan>
"I'm gonna suck your cock, Jim..." <wet noises>
"Blair..." <groan><pant>
"Feel my tongue, sliding up and down? I'm licking down around your balls..." <louder wet noises>
<moan><sob>
"Sucking you in..." <slurping noises><rubbing noises>
"Oh, God, Blair...I want to touch you..." <sob>
"You are, lover...imagine it...running your hand up and down me..." <groan>
"I'm gonna come, babe..." <moan><gasp>
"Come for me, Jim..." <pant>
"Oh, God..." <hoarse voice>
"That's it, baby...that's it...come for me..." <raspy voice><gasp>
"...OH!...Aahhh...Blair!" <gasp><pant><shout>
"Oh, yeah...that's it lover. Come f-for m-m-me...Oh!" <sob><gasp>
......
......
"Blair?"
"Yeah, Jim."
"Still alive?"
"I think so."
"We can't do that again. I can't do that, and not touch you, babe. It's too hard." <rustle><snap>
"Didn't like it, huh?" <snap><zip>
"Like has nothing to do with it, Chief. But I want to hold you now."
"Yeah, me too. Jim?"
"Yeah, Chief?"
"I love you. I can't wait until you're home."
"I love you too, Chief. I can't wait until I'm home, either."
"Guess I'll talk to you later then, Jim."
"Okay, babe. Take care."
"Bye."
"Bye."
March 22, 1997
Hey Jim,
Made a big mistake today. I was in a hurry, as usual, and didn't want Simon to yell at me again, so I took your letter to the station.
I was on campus getting ready to leave. I should have never been there in the first place it being spring break and all. I had to get some of my notes, though. Anyway, one of my students literally ran into me, papers flew everywhere. She'd been crying, Jim. What was I supposed to do? Her boyfriend just dumped her. She ended up crying on my shoulder for almost half an hour. She was devastated. I guess I would be too, if I lost the one I loved.
Gee, big guy, where was I going with this? Must be the sleep deprivation experiment that I'm working on. Oh, yeah. I was late, but didn't want to miss reading your letter so I took it with me. Man, halfway through it, I had to leave the pen. That whole "I miss you, Blair" paragraph was sending signals to certain parts of my anatomy. I had to go take care of the problem. Not something I was looking forward to doing in a police station.
Which leads me to another point I wanted to bring up (pun intended). That whole phone thing really shouldn't have happened--I'm sorry about that. Don't get me wrong, Jim, I did like it. Only problem was, it reminded me of what I was missing. Hanging up with you that night was almost as bad as when you left Sunday. Of course, it gets worse when I remind myself that I should be with you in Vancouver this week doing wicked things. Why do you do this to me, Jim? Hell, why did Simon do this to us? Yeah, yeah, I know. I can hear you in my head, 'Simon doesn't know, Chief.' Bummer.
Seriously, Jim. I miss you lots. I'm rattling around the loft all by myself. It's at the point now that I have to drown myself in work because I can't stand to think of you away from me. Shelley (the girl who cried this afternoon) invited me to a party tonight. I thought I might go. Anything to stop feeling the pain your absence has caused. Probably won't go, though. Your standard 'Blessed Protector' lecture just started playing in my head. So don't worry about me.
Actually, you gave me something to think about instead of always missing you. I do have sort of a theory about the Sentinel/Guide connection. Truthfully, when I first met you, I hadn't given much thought to the "Guide" part. But, lately, I've been having these thoughts. Now, I know what you're thinking, big guy, but I have other thoughts besides those.
Where was I? The Sentinel/Guide thing. It hit me the other day how lucky it was for me to have met you. What were the odds of me finding a Sentinel? That's when I started to really think about it. Jim, do you realize that out of all the cities in the U.S.--in the world--I found my Sentinel in Cascade? In a hospital? And only because I was sleeping with that nurse at the time? Unbelievable! There must have been some cosmic force that drew us together. Every Sentinel has to have a Guide. That's a given. What I never realized before was that there is no random choice between a Sentinel and a Guide. It's pre-destined.
Sorry, Jim. Probably weren't expecting a lecture on Sentinels. I do find it fascinating, though. Sentinels are so capable of so many things with their heightened senses. Wonder what they're like in bed.....Man, now you know where my mind's been since you left.
I really can't wait for you to come home, Jim. I want to hold you, take you to the point of ecstasy and drown myself in you. I want to mark my territory again and brand you as mine. Sentinel and Guide. One. As it should be.
Dammit. I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I'm going to end up thinking of you, dreaming of you all night. Shit. Guess I'll have to wash the sheets again tomorrow.
Write Back.
Love,
Blair
P.S. I'm sending a tape your way. I couldn't help it. When I heard these songs, I thought of you. Us. There's quite a few songs on there, but my favorites are "Can't Fight this Feeling" by REO Speedwagon, "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers and "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. Listen to 'em, big guy, and you'll know how I feel about you. Well, I'm off to listen to that Queen CD, myself. Later.
March 26, 1997
Hi, Lover:
Thanks for the tape. I listened to it...Yeah, they fit, don't they. The REO Speedwagon and Queen songs... You know, Chief...I used to wonder sometimes if songwriters had particular people in mind when they write. Now I know.
Pre-destined, huh? Sounds good to me. I knew you wouldn't let me down on that. I guess that explains why I feel so strongly the way I do. If we're meant to be together...of course, that's a frightening thought, too. What if we'd never made it together? Does that mean I'd have gone through life feeling like only a half of a person, rather than the whole I feel with you? And if something happens to one of us? That's really scary to think about, Chief. Now I'm not so certain I should've asked you.
So tell me more about this problem of yours at the station? Sounds intriguing. Something I'll have to check out thoroughly when I get home.
I agree with the phone thing. That wasn't very comfortable. Not being able to touch you during was bad enough; knowing I couldn't hold you after was worse. And what's with this wondering what Sentinels are like in bed? You already know, more or less. Okay, so we didn't go beyond foreplay. Hey, bed is bed, Chief.
I miss you too, babe. This week is killing me, knowing you were supposed to be here. Someday, after we've told Simon, I'm going to tell him about the time he tortured us--even if he was unaware of it at the time.
Now, speaking of paragraphs causing uncomfortable problems...I seem to have a swelling here that relates to the sentence, " I want to mark my territory and brand you as mine." Oh, God, Blair...do you have any idea what sort of images that phrase conjures up for me? I can taste you, right now...sitting here. I can picture in my mind the way your skin tasted, and how it felt under my tongue and lips...the scent of your skin--hot, sweaty, the smell of your arousal. I'm sitting here, Chief, rock hard and aching for you now. Fortunately, I'm *not* at the station...
Oh, God...that's better. Sorry. I know you know what I did... I can't wait to be home and let you help me. I wonder if it will always be like this for us? The intense wanting, needing, desiring. Part of me hopes so...the other part of me is hoping desperately that the effect will diminish somewhat. This could become crippling, after a while.
I've got to go...I'm going into the station for a while tonight. Seems like the paperwork never ends. We've definitely made progress--had a big bust go down day before yesterday. Moving in for the kill, I hope. It's personal now, we have to avenge Conor's death.
I love you. I'll talk to you later.
Love,
Jim
March 31, 1997
Dear Babe,
Gee, Jim. I suppose if you could ravish me through these letters, you would? "Hi, Lover"? Why don't you twist my aching need for you. First line and I'm already hard wanting you. Imagine what kind of state I'll be in when I'm through reading this letter.
On to the boring stuff. I had to go back to work today. Spring break's over, back to the real world. What am I saying? I spent all of last week at the station. With Simon, no less. If I'd been with you, then I could claim going back to the real world. You're a dream, man. It's a wonder I caught you at all.
You know, I've been thinking (no need to roll your eyes, big guy). There has got to be something with this Sentinel/Guide thing. This is your fault, you know. I hadn't thought much about it until you brought it up. Now, I'm going to have to do some research. From what I've read, the Guide's role hasn't been fully explored. This really is a fascinating theory.
Anyway, I do have a point. We've only known each other for what? About a year, right? We're totally different people, yet we've managed to put up with each other, becoming good friends in the process. Then, wham! You kissed me. You know I had some misgivings about this. At least, initially. But, since we've started writing, whatever problem I had with it disappeared. You and I have both had experiences in the past, but nothing could have prepared me for this...intense emotion I feel everytime I think of you. It...feels right. We connect on so many different planes, this is just one more.
It's really unbelievable, I know. In just six weeks, my whole life has changed. There's a whole new meaning to it. And, Jim, we've only seen each other for a weekend in all that time! A year ago,--hell, six months, ago--I would never have been capable of writing everything I feel in a letter. Now, I'm sending you two and three pagers.
We don't have a normal relationship, by any means. Hell, you're not normal, man. I won't go into that here, though. Of course, I'm a little off center, myself. I won't go into that, either. All I'm saying is, the Sentinel/Guide thing needs to be researched a bit more. Come on, Jim. I wouldn't think you're the letter writing type, but your words do funny things to my insides. This goes past just us. It goes back to a time that very few people understand.
Sorry I rambled on. I tend to get philosophical at two in the morning. At least when I'm not occupied by other things.
As for your question, Jim, I really don't know what to tell you. Some people go through life never meeting their better half. We're lucky we did. As for one of us losing the other, I hope it never happens but it probably will. Oh, man, sorry. That's pretty heavy. Must be that chili I had for dinner.
Try not to worry about it too much, Jim. We've found each other. Enjoy it. I plan to.
I wish I could do all sorts of things with you...to you...now. I want to lick you like a popcicle, suck you like a lemon. I want to taste you in my mouth, feel you against my skin. I want to rub myself against you, touch you. See what you do to me, big guy?
I can't go on with this. In fact, I'm going to have to wrap up soon. That problem's popped up again.
Hey, I'm glad you liked the tape. I think that songwriters do have people in mind when they write. Guess, though, it really doesn't matter. It's how I feel when I hear them that matters. I'm listening to "You're My Best Friend" now. Boy, does that Freddie Mercury have a set of pipes. Great song, man.
I can't wait to see you, Jim. Be careful. I know you have to go after the people who killed Conor. Just come back in one piece, okay?
I love you, big guy.
Blair
P.S. What's the exact color you used to paint the loft?
<phone ringing>
<sleep roughed voice> "Wha--?"
"Chief, what the hell did you do to the loft?"
<groggy voice> "Who is this?"
"What do you mean who is this? How many calls do you get in the middle of the night?"
"Jim? <yawn> Why are you calling so late?"
"What are you doing in bed?"
"What do you think I'm doing? Why are you calling this late?" <hard smacking noise> "OW! Is something wrong with your senses? Are you okay?"
"Chief--what was that noise? Are you okay? What happened?"
"Just hit my head--I'm fine. What's with you?"
"Calm down, Chief. I just called because I miss you." <pause> "And to find out why you want to know about the paint."
<sigh> "Okay, big guy...what's really wrong? And by the way, I was kidding about the paint. Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention."
"Jesus." <indecipherable mumblings> "Nothing's wrong, Chief. Can't I just call you because I miss you?"
"Of course you can. I miss you too--it's just so unlike you."
"Actually, Chief, I just got your letter today, and I was reading the part where you were talking about Sentinel and Guides...and it got me thinking--"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah--just kind of turning it over in my mind."
"Ah--knew we'd finally get to the reason why you called."
"Well...you know...I worry about you--I'm not there to watch over you, you're not here to help me...what if something happens to one of us..."
<exasperated sigh> "Uh, Jim? Don't you think you're, like, obsessing here?"
"Probably. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe not."
"Babe, I understand you worry about me, and I worry about you too, but everything will be all right. Try not to worry about it too much. Whatever happens happens, and we just have to go with the flow."
"But what if something happens to you, and I'm not there for you...?"
"Jim--I'm home, and I'm safe. Don't worry. If anybody should be worrying, it's me. Okay?"
<sigh> "Okay. Blair--I really miss you."
"I miss you too, big guy. Try not to worry."
"I'll try. I guess I should go, and let you go back to sleep."
"Oh, yeah--like I'm gonna go back to sleep *now*? Man, now I'm gonna sit up here and worry that you're okay."
<chuckle> "I love you, Chief."
"I love you, too, big guy."
"'Bye, babe."
"'Bye, Jim."
April 3, 1997
Hey, Lover:
Yeah, I know. I admit I get a certain thrill out of knowing that that intro unhinges you slightly. Sorry. You're so right though--if I could reach out and ravish you through these pages, I would. Consider the sentiment there, if the reality isn't.
I'm sorry about last night. I was just feeling...I don't know. Really weird about all that 'fated to be together' stuff. I know I started it--but that doesn't mean it doesn't still bother me. Did you get back to sleep okay? I didn't sleep for a while...just re-read your letter a couple more times. That paragraph about licking and sucking me... Go for it, babe. As soon as I'm home, feel free to consider me your own personal dinner plate. Just remember the law of reciprocity...
I'm having a hard time writing this, Chief. Not because I don't have anything to say, actually, just the opposite. I have so much to tell you--things I don't trust myself to write down and get right. I can't wait to wrap you in my arms, and hold you there, knowing you're safe. I don't know why this is bothering me so badly...something we'll have to work through, I suppose. I'm just not used to the idea of a soulmate--kind of removes random chance from our lives, doesn't it?
I have that tape you sent playing right now. Unchained Melody. 'Oh, my love...I hunger for your touch'...God, that's so right. I can't wait to touch you again, Blair. I love you so much that I don't have words to express it--and I'm so afraid that the ones I do are inadequate. This is hard for me, Chief. Even my relationship with Micky all those years ago didn't prepare me for what I'm experiencing with you. It's as if you and I have gone beyond the gender thing...beyond a-- I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm going to give up before I say something wrong. I love you. I guess that'll have to be enough, until I can show you.
I love you.
Jim
April 7, 1997
Big Guy,
Mmmm....Know what I'm doing right now? It feels so good. It tastes so bitter in my mouth, but glides down my throat, igniting a burning fire in my belly. Oh, wonderful. It lingers, giving me a happy, satisfied feeling. Gee, Jim, these beers you bought are just great! Having one really eases the tension of the day. It's no substitute for you, though.
Lover. You really don't know what that name does to me. It puts me right in the mood... Maybe I shouldn't have told you that. If ever we fight, you'll use it against me. Never fear, though, I've got weapons of my own.
Man, what was up with that phone call the other night?! You scared the hell out of me. I couldn't get back to sleep at all. Ended up working on my thesis until it was time to go to work. My students don't thank you in the least. I suspect I was a bit grouchy.
You really do have a tendency to worry over nothing. Don't get me wrong, it's one of the things I love about you. I know that 'Blessed Protector' is not a role you take lightly. Heaven knows, you've fulfilled it often enough. I guess that's what's really bugging you, huh? The fact that you've had to save my life--oh, a dozen or so times. You just gotta trust things will work out. I go through the same thing every day. You're the cop, remember? Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you endanger yourself for others? God, Jim, I almost died when you were in that burning building. I was so close to following you, man.
See what you started? Like I have nothing better to do than to worry about you. There *are* other things I could be thinking about.
Really, Jim, you are very special to me. I love you. Always and forever.
Blair
P.S. Boy, am I hungry. Think I left my dinner plate around here somewhere....
Cocktease. That's what Blair was, and he intended to tell him so as soon as he saw him again. Jim smiled then, thinking about the beginning of that last letter. Only Blair would be that audacious. He was also probably very aware of what Jim's reaction to that paragraph would be. Still, he'd be pretty surprised to get his reply to this latest letter in person...
They'd finally made *the* bust, and what a bust it had been. Enough people in the holding tank to keep the Vancouver police in paperwork for the next six months. Several high-ranking city officials, a couple of ambassordial personnel...links to the Calli Cartel. Jim shook his head, thinking. It was going to get downright ugly before Vancouver finished mopping up this one. There had been a couple of cops involved too...Vice men, which made it that much uglier. Conor had died not only for stupid reasons, but because of some of the men he'd worked with, and trusted his life to. There wasn't a day went by that Jim wasn't grateful he'd gotten out of Vice when he had. True you could never tell who would turn, but Vice always seemed particularly vulnerable.
Jim folded the letter and placed it in his pocket. He'd gone home to retrieve some forms that the Vancouver department needed, and discovered the mail had already been delivered, with a letter from Blair waiting for him. It made his stomach churn with anticipation to think that he'd be seeing him sometime in the next twelve hours. //Maybe I should call him.// No, he wanted to surprise him. He did need to call Simon though. Get things wrapped up here. He still needed to pack, and take care of shit back at the townhouse... Jim picked up the phone and dialed the number for his own station. The phone rang, and Jim requested to speak with his Captain. He played with a paperclip while he waited for the call to be put through.
"Banks."
"Hey, Simon--it's Jim."
"Hey, Jim. How're things goin' up there?"
"Great--we just finished up this morning. Major bust."
"Good, good. Comin' back then?"
"Leaving tonight, as soon as I get everything packed up. Just wanted to see if I could get a couple of days off out of you. It's been a long couple of months, Simon."
"Sure, Jim. Well, at least Friday and the weekend. Can you come in Monday, and do the forms? You can take vacation time then, if you want, and I'll match it with comp time."
"Yeah, that'll be good. Might take some time then. But Friday's fine."
"Okay, Jim. I'll see you Monday. Good work!"
"Thanks, Simon."
//Maybe I will take some vacation time. Sandburg and I can go camping. Do some fishing...spend some time getting to know each other better.// Jim smiled at the thought of how better he'd like to get to know his guide.
That was it then. The last of his end of the paperwork had been turned into the proper channels at the station--he wouldn't have to come back unless they needed his testimony for some reason, once the case made it to trial. The Chief Inspector had seemed to think that was unlikely, since there were so many members of the Vancouver station that had participated on this bust. Jim was glad. He hadn't minded this assignment, except that he wanted right now to be no where except at home, with Blair.
Now he had only to go back to the townhouse, pack his stuff up, and get the hell out of Dodge. Or Vancouver, as it were. Shouldn't take too long. He checked his watch. It was almost eight p.m. He should be able to be on the road by ten, at the latest.
10:15 pm saw Detective James Ellison heading down the Interstate, the sounds of REO Speedwagon resounding through the cab of the Explorer.
"I can't fight this feeling any longer and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow what started out as friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show.
I tell myself That I can't hold out forever I say there is no reason For my fear 'Cause I feel so secure When we're together You give my life direction You make everything so clear
Chorus: And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight You're a candle in the window On a cold dark winter's night And I'm getting closer Than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling any more I've forgotten what I started fighting for It's time to bring this ship into the shore And throw away the oars, forever 'Cause I can't fight this feeling any more I've forgotten what I started fighting for And if I had to crawl upon the floor Come crashing through the door Baby, I can't fight this feeling any more
My life has been such a whirlwind Since I saw you I've been running round in circles In my mind And it always seems that I'm Following you 'Cause you take me to the places That I know I'd never find
Chorus
//That song is so appropriate,// Jim reflected. //It sums up my feelings exactly. I had no will whatsoever once Blair blew into my life.// And now he didn't care if he ever did, again. He hit rewind on the tape deck, and pushed his foot against the accelerator. Home by 2:00am... He chanted it like a mantra.
The miles slipped away with astonishing speed, and Jim was mildly surprised when he hit the outskirts of Cascade. He allowed his brain to slip into autopilot then, and began to entertain thoughts of just what coming home would mean now. Blair was waiting for him. They were about to embark on a lifetime adventure together; the two of them against the world. What was it Blair had said in one of his letters? 'Sentinel and Guide. One. As it should be.' They were meant to be together.
Then he was turning onto his street, and the churning in his stomach rose to a fever pitch. In just a few more minutes, he'd be home, inside, holding his love...
Thursday night
Jim stifled a yawn as the door to the loft swung inward, slowly. It was nearly two in the morning and the drive from Vancouver had been the ending to a very long, very tedious day.
He walked into the softly lit loft, glad to be home. Gently closing the door behind him, he glanced around. He frowned when his gaze settled on Blair.
His Guide was slumped forward in a dining room chair, head resting on the table. One hand was stretched out toward the computer as if he couldn't bring himself to stop working. Reading glasses were casually discarded on the other side of the laptop.
Jim rubbed his forehead in exasperation. Had his partner been living like this since Jim went to Vancouver? No. Jim answered his own question. Blair had been sleeping in the Sentinel's bed. Jim smiled as a thought occurred to him. He was going to take great pleasure in breaking this late-night habit of Blair's. Great pleasure, indeed.
Setting the one bag he managed to drag up from the truck on the floor, Jim walked toward the kitchen table where the computer was still whirring, softly.
Gently, Jim reached forward and released Blair's hair from the confines of its clasp. He trailed fingers through its softness, letting it drift past his fingers. Its gossamer texture reminded him of finely woven silk.
Keeping his hand firmly entrenched in the riotous curls, Jim caressed Blair's cheek with his thumb. Then, he leaned over and kissed the sleeping man.
Blair moaned and stirred, but his eyes remained closed.
"Chief?" Jim whispered, not wanting to disturb the spell that had woven around him. He moved to dart his tongue into Blair's ear. He could get used to waking Blair up this way.
"Mm...yeah, Jim?" Blair mumbled, sleepily.
Jim reluctantly pulled away from Blair. He gazed down at his still sleeping Guide. Jim would give him one more minute to wake before....
Suddenly, Blair jerked awake, sending his reading glasses skittering across the table. "Wha-? Who? Jim?" He stared, wild-eyed at his partner. "Where? Where did you come from?"
Jim chuckled. "Didn't Naomi ever tell you about the birds and the bees?"
Blair tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes before focusing on Jim. "Funny. What I meant was, aren't you supposed to be in Vancouver?"
"Do you want me to go back?" Jim said in amusment.
"No!" Blair flew out of his chair and latched himself onto Jim. "Don't you ever leave me again."
Jim wrapped his arms around Blair in a hug. He felt the younger man shudder and tighten his arms around Jim's neck. "I've missed you, Jim. You *are* home to stay, aren't you?"
"Yeah, babe. I'm home to stay," Jim murmured against Blair's hair. He nestled his lips in the curls, planting a kiss there.
Blair laid his cheek against Jim's chest. The sound of the Sentinel's heartbeat was soothing and Blair sighed before kissing Jim there.
"Straight to the heart, huh, Chief?" Jim's arms enfolded Blair closer.
Blair looked up with a twinkle in his eyes. "Naw. Just wanted to feel the hard muscles of your chest under my lips."
"Wouldn't that be easier if I didn't have a shirt on?" Jim teased.
"You tell me, big guy." Blair stepped away from Jim and the bigger man suddenly felt the chill in the loft.
"Sandburg," Jim growled, taking a step toward Blair, "who said you could move?"
Blair stepped back. "Just giving you room to take your shirt off, man."
Jim reached for the buttons of his shirt. He slowly undid the top two buttons and stopped. Blair was eyeing him, hungrily. Jim felt a stirring in his groin in response.
Jim's hands moved to his hips and he turned a critical eye on his partner. "It seems to me, Sandburg, that you haven't been getting enough sleep."
Momentarily distracted, Blair's glance moved from Jim's chest to his face. "Huh? What?"
"I think you need to rest, Chief." "Jim, the last thing I want to do is rest." Blair's voice lowered, seductively.
Jim shivered in anticipation. "Chief, sleeping on the kitchen table isn't..."
The rest of the Sentinel's remark was lost as Blair launched himself at him.
"Jim, just shut up and kiss me." Blair's tone was rough as he and Jim tumbled over the back of the couch. Jim landed safely on his back on the couch, Blair on top of him. Jim didn't have time to think as Blair's mouth descended upon his own with a ferociousness that took the detective's breath away.
Jim plunged his hands through Blair's hair as Blair's hands grasped onto his shirt. Their tongues thrusting and parrying, each fought for dominance of the other. This kiss was one of power and control, of possession.
Jim was suddenly at a loss when Blair pulled back from him.
"Chief?" Jim's hands dropped to Blair's shoulders.
A popping sound filled Jim's sensitive ears and from the corner of his eye he saw the buttons of his shirt fly off in all directions. "Chief?!"
"I'm on top, Jim," came the response. "You took way too long to take the shirt off, man. Thought I'd do it for you."
Jim smiled up at Blair, mischieviously. "I was hoping you would."
Blair matched his smile with one of his own before leaning down and tugging lightly at Jim's lower lip with his teeth.
This time when they kissed, it was a shared union. Tenderly, Jim flicked his tongue into Blair's mouth, probing and searching for what he was missing. Blair's tongue met his in a tentative greeting.
Finally, a medium of communication that allowed them to express their richocheting emotions.
Their lips unlocked and Blair moved to lay his head on Jim's chest. "Wow," he breathed, "kissing you is like....I can't even describe how incredible it is! I just know I want to do it again and again. As long as I live."
Jim rubbed Blair's back, loving the feel of him. "It isn't me, Chief. It's us. Like a lock and key."
"Jim, I'm so glad you're home."
"Me, too, babe." Jim reached down to the hem of Blair's shirt. "What are you still doing with this on?"
In answer, Blair pulled himself away from his partner and rose to his feet. Jim gazed up at him as Blair removed his own shirt and tossed it to the floor.
Jim stood and took Blair's hand. "Come on, babe. Let's go upstairs."
Hand in hand, they ascended to heaven.
Friday
Jim rolled over, pushing the tangled sheets down his legs. Blair was already up--he could hear him moving around downstairs. //God, to finally be home again!// He pulled his shorts on and headed down the stairs for the bathroom.
"Morning, big guy," Blair called from the kitchen when he saw Jim.
"Hey, Chief, just a sec," Jim threw over his shoulder as he headed for the bathroom.
Blair poured two cups of coffee, and headed for the living area. He'd make breakfast in a little while--or would it be lunch? The thing about going to bed after a certain time was, no matter what time you got up then, breakfast ceased to be an appealing option. And going to bed at 4:00am certainly qualified. He looked up as the bathroom door opened, and Jim emerged. He walked over and sat down next to Blair.
"Morning, babe," Jim said, before leaning over to kiss him. It was only intended to be a brief kiss, one of greeting, but it quickly escalated. Jim found himself leaning back onto the couch, pulling Blair onto him. He basked in the sensation of the smaller man's body draped over his--he'd waited these many weeks to be able to enjoy this. The weekend he'd been home had only served to heighten the intensity of their feelings and the sensation of frustration at not being able to be together.
Blair took Jim's head in his hands, and began to kiss him slowly, deeply. He sucked on Jim's lower lip and tongue, then traced an outline of his mouth. He spread kisses across his cheeks, forehead, sucked briefly on the bridge of Jim's nose, returning over and over in between to kiss and nip at his lips. His tongue thoroughly explored the cavern of Jim's mouth, running itself across Jim's teeth, caressing the hardness of the roof, sliding across Jim's tongue. Blair pulled away finally when he was certain he couldn't kiss Jim any more thoroughly, and slid off Jim to sit on the table next to the couch.
"Wow..." Jim managed, his voice hoarse. "Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"
Blair managed a smile. "Oh, here and there." He waved his hand as if dismissing it as unimportant.
"'Here and there,'." Jim gave Blair a skeptical once-over look. "Well, as long as it's just *here* in the future...all I can say is it's nice to be on the receiving end of that."
"Thank you." Blair bounced off the table into a standing position. "Hungry?"
"Yeah." Jim's stomach rumbled as if to confirm, and he rolled off the couch.
"What do you want? Breakfast or lunch?"
"It's weird not to start out with breakfast, Chief."
"No it's not. I mean, geez, man...it's past noon already."
"It is? God...the day's half gone."
"Yeah, well...it's not like we didn't need sleep or anything."
"What time did you get up?"
"Maybe fifteen minutes before you did." Blair turned toward the kitchen. "So? What do you want to eat?"
"Let's do sandwiches. And beer."
"For breakfast?"
"Nope, this is lunch, Chief." Jim smiled and Blair felt his heart flop over in his chest. God, he loved this man! Jim reached out and caught Blair's hand, placing a kiss on his wrist, right where Blair's pulse was fluttering madly. He followed the kiss with a long, languid lick of the surrounding skin, staring all the while into Blair's eyes.
Blair tried to remember his train of thought. "So, like what's gonna be lunch, Jim? The sandwiches, or me?" He heard the breathy quality to his voice, and knew that Jim heard it too.
"Well...do I get to make a choice?" Jim kissed a little further up the arm, pausing every so often to nibble slightly. "Given the choice, I'll take you." He pulled Blair closer to him.
"Oh, God..." Blair gave up on lunch and pressed his body into Jim's, returning the embrace. He tilted his head, and Jim's mouth descended upon his. He shuddered as Jim began massaging his back, continuing to kiss him thoroughly. The hands caressed lower, until Jim was cupping his ass, pulling him impossibly closer. He could feel the heat of Jim's erection through the thin material of the shorts they both wore; felt his own erection throb painfully. Blair whimpered slightly as Jim pulled away.
"I want you, Chief. I want to make love to you. We've waited so long..." He caressed Blair's face with his hand, lowering his head to gently kiss those full lips, the tip of Blair's nose, his cheeks.
"I want you too, Jim. Oh, God, I want you..." Blair brushed the back of his hand against Jim's erection, and felt himself surge forward slightly.
Jim made a noise in the back of his throat. "Let's take this upstairs," he suggested, voice a little hoarse.
Blair nodded agreement, and they headed upstairs for the bedroom.
They stopped beside the bed to divest themselves of their shorts, then stood staring at each other for a long moment. Blair spoke finally, his voice slightly awe-struck as he ran a gentle hand down Jim's chest. "You're so beautiful, Jim." It wasn't like he'd never seen him naked before--he had, and they'd pleasured each other that night, too. This was different, somehow.
"I was going to say the same about you, Blair." Jim's voice was sober, quiet. Blair looked up and was astonished by the depth of emotion he saw reflected in Jim's eyes. "You're the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me, Blair Sandburg." Jim's voice shook slightly, and he took Blair's head in his hands to draw him closer and kiss him.
They kissed for long moments, tongues sliding, seeking, caressing; lips and teeth nipping and nibbling. Jim let go of Blair's head with one hand--although one remained tangled in the curls there--and reached down to cup his ass and draw him closer. He ran his tongue around the outside of Blair's ear, and breathed, "Let me love you, Blair."
"Ah, yeah...Oh, Jim...yes," Blair gasped as Jim rubbed their erections together. "Make love to me, lover..." He whispered into Jim's ear.
They moved onto the bed, and Jim propped himself up on one elbow, over Blair. They kissed, the intensity increasing now. Long hot kisses, open-mouthed, tongues thrusting wildly. Blair reached for Jim's erection, began stroking his fingers down the length of it. Jim brushed his free hand across Blair's chest, tugging gently on the soft hairs that ringed his nipples. Blair gasped into Jim's mouth. Jim smiled slightly, and brushed his fingertips across the nipple itself, then splayed his fingers around it, caressing the flat little nub with his thumb. He broke away from Blair's mouth, and bent his head to lick at the now tight little bud, sending shivers down Blair's body. "That's right...you like this." Jim grinned at Blair, then groaned as he felt Blair's thumb caressing the head of his cock, gently exploring the tiny opening at the center. "All right, I'll quit teasing."
"Why?" Blair managed as Jim's tongue swirled around his nipple. He felt it suckled, and groaned low in his throat. Oh, God, it felt so good... "Ahhh....Oh!" Teeth were lightly grazing those sensitive buds now, scraping gently, followed by soothing licks. "God, Jim..." He let go of Jim's cock, and tugged his lover back up to him, wrapping his arms around him. "Kiss me..." He whispered.
Jim complied eagerly. Blair's mouth was a drug he couldn't get enough of. He tasted Blair over and over again, then licked a path down to Blair's neck. He nipped gently, and heard Blair's moan of encouragement. He nipped again, and felt a shudder tear through his lover. Harder this time, biting, followed by a sucking kiss. Marking Blair as his. "Mine," he growled softly, as he bit again. "You're mine, Blair."
"Yours," Blair gasped in agreement as he turned his head to allow Jim easier access. "I want you," he managed then, as the bigger man straddled him, nibbling his way lower, returning again and again to Blair's ultra-sensitive nipples. "Please, Jim," He writhed beneath Jim, as Jim gently pinched his nipples.
"Oh, baby. I want you too." Jim pushed himself off Blair, then bent and gently licked the throbbing erection the smaller man was sporting. Blair gasped and arched his body toward Jim's mouth. Jim backed away, smiling. "Not this time." He fumbled around in the drawer next to the nightstand, looking for the lube and some condoms. When he turned back to the bed, he found Blair regarding him with a serious expression on his face.
"Jim? We're gonna stay together, right? Monogamous?"
"I'm planning on it, Chief. Why?"
"Then you don't need that." Blair gestured toward the condom in Jim's hand. "I've always used them before, so I know I'm clean-- but..." He hesitated. "If you still want to..." He trailed off and looked down, unsure of what he was trying to say, or how to continue. A large warm hand tilted his head back up, and he gazed into the clear blue-gray eyes of his lover.
"If trust you with my heart, then I trust you with the rest," Jim said simply. He put the condom back into the drawer. He squeezed some of the lube onto one finger, and began running that finger down the crevice between Blair's cheeks. "You'll tell me if I'm not doing this right?"
"Oh, yeah...count on it!" Blair gasped as he felt the finger beginning to probe his anus.
"Relax, baby," Jim whispered as he returned to Blair's lips. "I'm gonna make you feel so good..." He kissed Blair, opening his mouth with his tongue, a slow, deep kiss. He felt Blair's body relax under his, and pushed his finger in slowly. Blair's muscles tightened around him, then relaxed again as Blair grew used to him. Jim began pushing the finger in and out, thrusting gently. He sucked on Blair's nipple, drawing the whole thing into his mouth, then licking just the tip. Blair was pushing against him slightly, so he withdrew his hand, and lubed two fingers this time. They slipped in easily, and Blair began moving against him immediately, his breathing increasing. Jim smiled against Blair's chest, and withdrew, adding a third finger this time. Blair groaned, and thrust against him, hand creeping down to stroke his own throbbing erection.
"Now, Jim, please. Don't make me wait any longer," Blair gasped.
Jim pulled away, and knelt next to Blair, watching the younger man. Blair's eyes were dilated, skin flushed. He lay there under Jim's gaze, pulling on his cock, stroking himself, moving against his own hand. Jim felt his own cock throb harder at the sight. He quickly squeezed more of the lube into his hand, and slicked himself up.
"Front or back?" Blair asked in a dreamy voice, hips undulating gently.
"Front," Jim replied hoarsely. "I want to see your face when I come inside you."
Blair nodded, hand still caressing himself, and drew his legs up. Jim knelt between them, and positioned himself. Blair pulled his legs back as far as could manage, and willed himself to relax again. Jim placed the head of his cock at Blair's entrance, and began pushing gently forward. He gasped out loud as the heat of Blair's body began to surround him. Under him he could feel Blair shaking, heard the whimpers he was making as Jim filled him.
Jim stopped moving. "Are you okay?" He managed in an almost normal tone.
"Oh, yeah...just don't stop, man. Don't stop..." Blair's voice was shaky.
"Okay..." Jim pushed forward slowly, until he was all the way in, pelvis resting against Blair's cheeks. He stayed still for a moment, giving Blair a chance to get used to him, savoring the feeling of the tight, hot passage encasing him. If he never had to move again, it would be too soon. Blair pushed against him then, and Jim knew he was ready. He braced his hands on either side of Blair's head, and, balancing the rest of his body on his feet, began to thrust in and out.
Blair gasped as Jim began to move inside him. He'd had male lovers, but none in a while, and his body was out of practice. It hurt...but was not unbearable. In fact, the pain was fading quickly, being replaced by a white-hot burning sensation that wasn't painful--just the opposite. He reached up and drew Jim's head down to his, and kissed him, thrusting his tongue into Jim's mouth like Jim was thrusting into his body. He could feel his erection pulsing between their bodies, and wiggled slightly to adjust for maximum pressure. Not quite...Blair let go of Jim's head with one hand, and snaked the other between them, taking his cock in his own hand, pumping in time with Jim's thrusts.
Jim could feel his orgasm building up, and began thrusting faster and harder into the wonderful body beneath his. He broke away from Blair's mouth, and began nipping at his neck, licking his throat and chest, sucking his nipples. Anywhere he could reach with his mouth. Blair was pumping himself, and Jim could feel the tremors shaking the smaller body beneath him. It wouldn't be long...Blair's muscles were already beginning to tighten and relax rhythmically. Blair stiffened under him, and Jim felt the warm stickiness of ejaculate on his stomach as Blair spent himself. Blair's muscles tightened around Jim as he came, and with a deep groan Jim thrust deep and came into Blair, calling Blair's name in a harsh cry that resounded around them.
Jim rolled himself onto his side as his arms gave out under him, and he pulled Blair with him into an embrace. They lay there, hands softly caressing each other, exchanging slow, gentle kisses.
Jim drew back first, and gazed into Blair's eyes. "It's been a while for you too, hasn't it? With another man, I mean."
Blair nodded. "I don't think I've even dated another guy since I've been living here. Didn't want to scare you."
Jim chuckled. "It would take more than that to scare me, Chief."
Blair snorted. "Yeah, right. Not! This from the guy who freaked about the thought of body-piercing. Vanilla, man."
Jim grinned at him, bringing a hand up to tweak a nipple. "Yeah, but I can change to different flavors, too. 'Sandburg', for example." He lowered his head to lick soothingly at the nipple he'd just pinched, and heard Blair's gasp. "Besides," He lifted his head to look at his partner, "We knew it'd been a while for me. You didn't say anything. I didn't hurt you did I?"
Blair shook his head, arching his body slightly, asking without words for Jim to bring his mouth back. "Yes...no...it hurt at first...but just--ooh, yeah--just because it'd b-been a while. Ah, Jim!" Blair reached up to hold Jim's head to his chest.
Jim noted with amusement the erection that was beginning to nudge his thigh. He raised his head slightly. "Again, Chief?"
"Wh-what can I say, man?" Blair gasped. "You bring out the b- best i-in me...or is it the w-worst?" He groaned as Jim swirled his tongue around and around those sensitive buds, and began rubbing his leg against Blair's growing erection.
"Oh, best, definitely," Jim managed as he suckled. Apparently, Blair's mouth wasn't the only thing addicting about his lover. The whole body seemed to have that effect.
"Then you won't m-mind letting me have my w-way with you..." Blair grabbed hold of Jim's head again, and arched against his mouth, moaning wordlessly as Jim's teeth scored his nipples. "O-oh, God, Jim..." Blair's hips began bucking against Jim's leg, increasing the pressure on his cock. He shuddered several times in Jim's arms, and Jim was surprised to feel several small spurts of warmth on his leg. Blair lay back against the bed with a silly grin on his face.
Jim pulled away looking pleased and confused at the same time. "Did you just...?"
"Uh-huh. What can I say, man? I'm a sensitive kind of guy."
"I didn't think guys could have orgasms like that..."
"Like what? From nipple stimulation?" Jim nodded, and Blair continued. "Well, probably not everyone does. I imagine not all women do either. I don't know if I ever have before...but this was so good..." Blair broke off at the look on Jim's face. "What?"
"I seem to have this problem..." Jim gestured to his own increasing erection. "It's weird, Chief. Knowing I brought you off like that..."
"Well, let's see what I can do for you, shall we?" Blair leaned in for a kiss, hand reaching for Jim's erection.
They kissed for a long time, Blair gently stroking and caressing Jim's cock. The edge had been taken off by their first time, and they could take the time to enjoy themselves now. Blair wanted to give back to Jim the pleasure he'd been given, and needed a little time to recover, first.
It was nice, Blair reflected, to be able to lay here and caress Jim. Finally. Just to feel the hard body under his; to know it was him making the bigger man grow hard, breathe faster, cry out as he came. He smiled as Jim kissed the hollow of his throat, pushing gently into Blair's hand. He felt Jim's hands move around, cupping him, drawing him closer. Their bodies rubbed together, softly at first, then picking up speed. Jim kissed Blair, rubbing his tongue along Blair's, tasting him. Blair held him tightly as Jim's body began to shudder, kissed him fiercely as the force of his orgasm overtook him.
Afterward they fell asleep, still holding onto each other, never having changed position.
This time he really *was* hungry, and nothing--not even Blair's tempting little ass moving right in front of him--was going to stop him from eating some sort of food. Jim sighed as he looked at the clock. It was four p.m. Talk about spending your whole day in bed!
A noise next to him caught his attention, and he turned to watch in fascination--nearly forgetting his resolve for food--as Blair stretched, lithe body rippling sinuously like a cat. //Food, food, food,// his mind chanted. Yeah, right.
"God!" Blair gasped out at the end of his stretch. "I'm starved. Jim, man...what time is it?"
"Just after four."
Blair rolled his eyes. "We are *so* bad. C'mon, let's get something to eat before I fade away into nothing."
They rolled out of bed and grabbed their shorts, and headed downstairs. At some point during the afternoon the day had changed from sunny to rainy, so Jim built a fire while Blair made up some sandwiches for them.
In no time at all they were cuddled together on the couch, devouring a stack of ham and roast beef sandwiches, rye bread for Jim and whole wheat for Blair.
"So, what do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?" Jim asked Blair, watching in amusement as the younger man guzzled a long drink from his beer.
"As little as possible, unless it's ravishing your body," was the cocky reply, and Jim felt his body twitch at the promise he heard in the words.
"You don't want to do anything else?"
"No--do you?"
"Not really."
"So, what's with the questions?"
"Just making sure."
"Gotcha. And it's my turn, you know."
"We're taking turns?" Jim couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.
"Yes, we are. And man, do I have something in mind for you..."
That was it. His body was definitely tightening up under the shorts. "Chief..."
"Oh, you'll like it. Being so you, it might take a repeat or so before...but you'll like it." Blair picked up his beer bottle and began running his tongue around the outer edge, pausing occasionally to flick it across the opening of the bottle. Jim felt himself growing hard, and shifted uncomfortably. Blair stopped for a moment, surveyed Jim, then grinned. "On the other hand, you might like it just fine the first time out." He resumed his play with the bottle. Jim groaned silently.
"C'mon, Chief...quit teasing." He removed the bottle from Blair's grasp, and drew Blair's fingers up to his mouth, sucking gently on each one in turn. Blair rubbed his fingers across Jim's mouth, then leaned in for a kiss. They were gasping for air when they finally broke apart.
"Who's teasing?" Blair panted slightly. "I don't tease...I promise."
"Well then, make good on your promise," Jim growled, leaning in to nip at the side of Blair's throat. "Come on, before I take you here on the couch."
The response to that was a wiggling against him. Jim groaned low in his throat, and picked Blair up. He carried him into Blair's old room, (old his mind reasoned, since he'd be sleeping with him now,) and set him down on the bed there. The bed was smaller than Jim's was, but any port in a storm...
Jim covered Blair's body with his own, and kissed him soundly. He could feel Blair's hands moving across his back, roaming down to caress his rear, and the feel of fingers drifting across him sent shivers chasing down his spine. Blair pushed at him, and Jim moved off of him, settling next to him on the bed. They stripped off their boxers, and changed positions, this time with Blair laying on top of Jim.
Blair drew himself up slowly, shifting so he was straddling Jim's chest, his erection bobbing right in front of Jim's face. The other man reached out and gently caressed the head with his tongue, and Blair moaned. "You catch on quick, man," he told Jim, shifting forward slightly to allow Jim more access. Jim muttered something that sounded like 'fast learner', but Blair didn't pursue that. He was too taken by the sensations of Jim sucking his cock. He drew away after just a couple of minutes, because he really did have something in mind, and didn't want to come too soon, and ruin it.
Blair bounced off the bed, and rummaged in his dresser drawer for a minute, coming back with a small flask. Jim half sat up and gave him a questioning look. "Massage oil, lover. Roll over." Blair grinned at how quickly Jim complied with that request. He poured some of the oil into the palm of his hand, warming it slightly before drizzling it across Jim's back and ass. Jim sighed as he felt the oil touch his skin, then groaned when he felt Blair's hands. It had started with a backrub, all those months past...
Blair massaged him for quite a while, hands rubbing and kneading, fingers digging in, before the touch became less therapeutic and more sensual. He moved lower, and began to rub and caress Jim's cheeks, cupping them in his hands. Occasionally he dipped a finger into the crack, just barely brushing it, before returning to knead at the cheeks. Jim groaned when he felt Blair's teeth nipping gently along the curve of his ass, and then felt fingers probing, running down his crack. Blair's tongue followed, and Jim instinctively opened his legs a little wider, groaning more loudly when Blair began tonguing his balls. He knew where Blair was going with this...Oh, God, was he going to...
Jim moaned out loud when he felt Blair's tongue probing, moving against him, and he pushed himself up against it, slightly. Blair gently but firmly pushed him back down. Jim could feel his cock pulsing against his belly, and pressed down, hoping the pressure would ease the ache a little bit. He held his breath as Blair's tongue continued to lick up and down his cleft, straying out occasionally to lick at the flesh of his cheeks before returning to the cleft. He heard a shifting noise, then felt a slight rush of cool air as Blair grasped both his cheeks and held them apart. Jim forgot to breathe as he waited to see what was going to happen. He felt the tip of Blair's tongue touch him, it followed a line down his cleft, running just past his anus, then back up again, skirting just past the entrance to his body.
Blair repeated this several times, noting that Jim was now clenching the comforter in his fists, grinding his hips against the bed. He worked up more spit in his mouth, and wet his tongue, then began again. Jim tensed under him as he felt Blair's tongue touch him, then begin to describe circles around his anus. He pushed back slightly toward Blair, and Blair reached down to stroke Jim's cock as he made smaller and smaller circles, getting ever closer. Jim felt every thing in his body stop for a moment as Blair hesitated--just briefly--then brushed his tongue across the puckered opening of Jim's anus. Jim sobbed above him, writhing with pleasure as Blair licked across the opening again, pushing at it with the tip of his tongue. He flicked his tongue across the opening several times, then darted it in and out, feeling Jim's body jerk underneath his.
Jim's breathing had sped up nearly to the point of hyperventilation, and in desperation for more he began pushing back against that tongue--that wonderful, incredible tongue--that was tormenting him. Blair was stroking him, running his hand up and down Jim's cock in time to the tiny thrusts he was making with his tongue, and Jim was going to be driven insane by it. He opened his mouth to...what? Beg, plead, what?
"Blair...Oh, God, Chief...I need you...please..."
Blair lifted his head. "Please what, lover?"
"Oh God, babe...please take me...put yourself in me...Fuck me!" Jim's voice was ragged, and harsh sounding.
"Oh, yeah, lover...if that's what you want.."
"You, Blair...I want you. Inside me." Jim almost sobbed as he felt Blair's hands lift off him, until he realized they were pushing him slightly, pushing him up onto his knees a bit. Jim propped himself onto his forearms, and waited. He felt Blair run his cock along Jim's cleft. Jim moaned, "Quit teasing, Chief...just do it!"
Blair grinned and reached for the flask of oil. He lubed his fingers, and pushed the first one in slightly. "Relax, lover. Relax, Jim...That's it..." He began thrusting gently with the first finger, felt Jim's body relax around it. He added a second finger, and Jim tensed up again. "It's okay, baby...relax..." Soon Jim was pushing back against those fingers, and Blair added a third. When Jim took all three fingers, and begged for more, Blair knew he was ready. He lubed his erection, and began pushing in.
Jim groaned. He'd been prepared for it to hurt...but this! Oh, God, it'd been so long since anyone had been inside him--he felt like he was being split in half... And then it began to subside, as Blair stopped, and waited. Jim wiggled under him, and pushed back toward him. Blair pushed in, then pulled back. He grasped Jim's hips, and began to gently pump in and out of him, gaining speed and pressure with each thrust. Jim began thrusting back, pushing himself onto Blair, gasping at the sensation. Like a ball of fire burning through his body...This was Blair inside him, making love to him, taking him. A hand snaked around, and Blair began pumping him, pushing that fire in body into liquid spreading through his veins. He realized how close he was, and began thrusting against Blair's hand. It only took a minute until he gave a shout, and shoved himself into Blair's hand, coming in hot spurts all over that hand.
Blair felt Jim's sphincter muscle clench around him with the force of Jim's orgasm, and took a deep breath. Almost...he thrust hard into his lover's body, pushing as far as he could in the tight, hot channel, felt the muscles grab him, pull him...he cried out and exploded into Jim's body.
They lay there then, arms across the other, legs entwined, catching their breath. Blair didn't need recourse to Sentinel senses to hear the steady, reassuring sound of Jim's heart beating in his chest. He pressed his ear to Jim's chest, taking comfort in the rhythmic sound. Jim pushed Blair's hair back from his face, caressing the long, sweaty locks.
"We are *not* going back to sleep."
"Mmmm..."
Jim slid his foot up Blair's leg, and back down. "Wake up, Sandburg."
"I'm awake. Chill, man."
"We need to get up and *do* something."
"We've *been* *doing* something, all day."
Jim couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading across his face. "Yeah, we have, haven't we?"
Blair untangled himself from Jim's embrace and pushed up into a sitting position. "Yep. And I for one am going to be so sore in the morning..."
Jim grinned almost smugly. "Good. Blair?"
Blair looked up from his inspection of the bite marks on his chest and upper arms. "Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you, Jim. I'm so glad you're home, man."
"Me too. At least--" Jim broke off, not wanting to put a damper on their good spirits. Blair sensed that, and reached over to take Jim's hand.
"What is it, man? C'mon, Jim. You can tell me."
Jim shook his head, mutely. Blair squeezed his fingers, and scooted closer to him, trying to reassure him with his presence.
Jim took a deep breath. "Don't ever leave me, Chief." Blair opened his mouth to reply to this totally impossible request, and Jim forestalled him with a finger on his lips. "No, I don't mean like going somewhere by yourself, or whatever. I mean don't *leave* as in never coming back. Don't get yourself killed-- don't die on me. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't bear to live without you, after what we've found together."
Blair found himself nodding his head in agreement. "I won't, Jim." He drew Jim into an embrace, and rocked him gently, comforting him. This was obviously a very sensitive subject for his partner, and one they would have to work on; for now though, it didn't hurt anything to give him the reassurance he so obviously needed. Blair was his mother's son; he'd grown up believing things happened for a reason, that free will and random chance had little to do with reality. Things happened because they were *meant* to. Jim hadn't grown up with such ideas. It would take longer for him to understand and accept--if he ever did--that there were certain givens in the universe they couldn't change. Their time together was one of them. The stars held that information; those same stars rarely shared that information with mere mortals. All they could do was hope that the Gods that controlled such things were merciful--that they would recognize soul-mates who belonged together, and allot them time accordingly.
Jim allowed himself to be held and rocked. It was comforting. He didn't know why this bothered him so badly, he just knew it did. Hopefully he'd be able to come to terms with it--it could be a problem if he started freaking every time Blair went on a case with him.
Blair sensed the tension easing in the large body he held, and he loosed his hold on Jim. "Better?"
"Yeah--sorry."
Blair cupped Jim's face in his hands, gazing into those eyes that were so clear--and so deep. "Don't ever apologize for your fears. I love you. I'll love you no matter what. Okay?"
"Only if you agree to the same thing. You have this tendency, Chief, to apologize for stuff you have no control over, either."
"Deal."
"Deal." Jim stretched then, and stood up. "I need a shower. Interested?"
"Yeah, but you go ahead. I'm gonna get something else to eat."
"Hungry? Again?"
"I was the one doing most of the work this last time." Blair smirked at him.
"So? Your point?"
"Burned up energy, man. Gotta refuel."
Jim laughed. "Whatever. Okay, I'll save you some hot water."
"You better."
"Or what?"
"No nookie for a day?" Blair tried to look serious, and Jim laughed.
"Yeah, like that's gonna happen." He pinched Blair's butt and headed for the bathroom.
"You never know!" Blair called after him, grinning.
They passed the weekend in much the same manner. Teasing, testing, loving. Getting to know each other all over again, in an entirely different, intimate manner.
Jim discovered that, although Blair enjoyed being made love to gently, he *really* got off on it being a little rougher; he never complained when Jim surrendered some of his control, and bit a little too hard. Jim laughed self-consciously at that, and Blair reassured him that he wouldn't let Jim hurt him. He liked things a little rough, but he wasn't into being masochistic. *That* into rough he'd never be.
Blair learned that Jim's gruff, tough-cop exterior hid what he'd always suspected: a tender, romantic heart. Jim liked to sit on the couch and hold Blair, gently caressing him and kissing him. His was a beautiful, if scarred, soul; one that Blair felt awed had been entrusted to his care.
After the ferocious intensity of that first day had passed they discovered a few other things. Blair liked being 'bottom', although he took the top occasionally, since it was fun to give it back to Jim. Jim, they found, could last longer for the actual sex if Blair got him off once first--he was so sensitive that he had to have release at least once, before he'd last for any length of time for Blair. They both enjoyed body massage, and touching frequently for reasons other than arousal. Kissing was an incredible turn on for Jim; for Blair, it was nipple stimulation. Jim couldn't get over that one, and delighted Blair frequently with it.
Sunday afternoon they went for a long walk in the park near the loft. There were so many things to talk about, factors to consider, with this new relationship; some of the bigger ones didn't even deal with them directly, rather the effects of there being a 'them'.
They stopped to sit on a bench by the pond, and since no one else was around, exchanged a few lingering kisses. Blair pulled away first, breathless. "Jim..."
"Mmhmm?"
"I love you."
"Oh." Jim felt a warm glow spread through him. "I love you too, Chief." He leaned over and kissed the side of Blair's neck. "You taste good, you know that?"
"You're biased, Jim." Blair arched his head to one side, allowing Jim better access.
"Could be, but so what? Who's gonna call me on this one?" He nuzzled his way up to Blair's ear, then back down again. Under his lips he could feel the minute vibrations as Blair shivered with the sensations.
"You'd probably be surprised."
Jim pulled back. "What?"
"Jim... C'mon, man. How are we going to do this? You being a cop, and all."
"What 'this'?"
"Us, man. Don't be dense, Jim. Two men--one who's a cop?--in a relationship together?"
"So? This is the '90s."
"Most of the time."
"Blair... I can't change who I am, or what I do. And I'm not *going* to change who I love. If people have a problem with that, it's too bad for them." Jim pulled back from the tempting sight of Blair's neck, reminding himself they were in a public place. "I'm not saying we should announce this to the world, but I also don't plan on being ashamed of the fact that I love you. Can you handle that, Chief?"
Blair twisted around in Jim's arms to look at him. Jim could see hints of moisture glinting in his eyes. "Yeah, I can. I can handle that just fine."
"Good." Jim felt satisfied the matter was settled, and stood up, drawing Blair with him. They resumed their walk around the pond, sometimes holding hands, sometimes not.
Blair wasn't so sure it was settled. Apparently, they both had issues to work on. Jim's was dealing with the inherent *being* of their relationship; his must be the insecurity that came from knowing how the world tended to view relationships between members of the same sex. He sighed. It would get worked out--in time. And time was something he figured they had on their side.
They went to bed that night, and took their pleasure of each other, knowing that tomorrow morning would see the end of their idyllic interlude. It would be a return to the realities of life. Which certainly didn't mean they wouldn't still be in love with each other, or have time to *make* love to each other (or, as Blair joked, have totally, incredibly hot sex for hours on end); it just meant that things wouldn't be the same as they'd been for this brief moment in time, when nothing existed in the world but the two of them.
They lay there afterward, enjoying the after-glow. Blair rolled up to Jim, and sprawled his body over and around his lover. He toyed idly with a peaked nipple, and Jim grunted at the sensation.
"Jim?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Are we gonna tell Simon tomorrow?"
"Do you want to?"
"It seems almost like we should."
"Yeah. We could wait though, and see if it comes up--naturally."
Blair hid a smile and pinched Jim's nipple again. "See if *what* comes up naturally, big guy? You, or the subject?"
Jim growled low in his throat. "It's going to be me if you don't stop that."
"Oh, I'm sorry--did you want me to stop?" Blair withdrew his hand, and nearly laughed out loud when Jim pulled it back quickly. "Guess not. Although I did mean the subject."
"Mmmm. Let's just play it by ear, shall we?"
"Mmhmm." Blair bent his head to his task, and smiled against Jim's chest at the sound of rapidly indrawn breath.
"Chief?"
"Mmhmm?" Blair raised his head at the serious tone to Jim's voice.
"No matter what anyone's reaction is, I love you. I'll love you forever."
"I love you too, Jim," he said softly. "I feel like I always have, and I know I always will."
They drew each other close then, and kissed gently, communicating with their bodies rather than words. Two people, two hearts, one soul. Ready to face the world; together as one, forever as one.
~~Finis~~
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