Chapter 9
"Angels and
Ministers of Grace, defend us."
-Hamlet, Act I, Scene I
Blair was actually glad to see Yvelle return later that evening, day, night, whatever. The worst of the drug was obviously wearing off; Jim was more clear-headed than he'd been for a while, but he was still moving back and forth between flaccid and painful erections.
They'd spent the better part of the day talking, sharing thoughts about what they'd like to do when they got out of here; unspoken was the possibility that they might not. Both agreed that a vacation might be in order, so they passed some time discussing where to go and what to do. They were deep into that discussion when the door opened.
"So-did you enjoy your day today?" She asked as she unloaded the small tray that seemed to be ever-present with her. Blair glowered at her from where he'd gone to sit protectively by his Sentinel; Jim not being quite up to protecting at the moment and Blair feeling very protective himself.
She asks that like we're at a fucking retreat or something! "Not particularly, no," he replied as civilly as possible.
"And why would that be?" Yvelle turned to face them, clucking in a mockery of sympathy. "My, my. Poor baby-couldn't even take care of that, could you?" She gestured playfully at the erection that Jim was again dealing with.
"Just take the damn thing off me," Jim managed, tired of the painful throb of arousal. It had ebbed considerably compared to the rest of the day, but he was sick of it all. Jesus, I'm never gonna want to have sex again at this rate. And this was not a good thought, considering that their lives hinged on that.
"Poor, poor Detective." Yvelle leaned in close, reaching as if to remove the ring. Instead she ran a cool finger down the throbbing flesh, then back up. Down again to cup the abused testicles, then stroking the hot flesh for a moment before abruptly releasing the ring.
Jim tensed and arched his body, a loud groan vibrating through gritted teeth, pain etched into his taut features. Blair shoved himself in between his friend and the bitch.
"That wasn't necessary," he hissed. "Haven't you tortured him enough for one day? Did you have to do that too?"
"Blair-" A hot hand gripped his. "Don't. Don't make it worse."
"Worse? How the fuck worse can it get?" Sandburg turned his attention toward the older man and missed the cold that crept into Yvelle's eyes.
"It can get a lot worse, Mr. Sandburg. And I strongly suggest that you drop the attitude before the Mistress is forced to take measures again."
The implication in her voice left no room for doubt as to what those measures would be, and Blair swallowed hard as the fear eased through his body again. "Just leave us alone," he whispered. "Please."
"Well, until tomorrow morning, anyway. 'Night, boys. Have fun!" The airy tone to her voice made Blair wonder if she was suffering from multiple personalities. How the hell did someone change their whole self that quickly?
He turned around to look at Jim, noted that the older man was still holding his hand, looking a little haggard. "Rough day, wasn't it?"
Jim nodded. "I don't expect they're going to be any better, either. This is our last meal, too, for a while. I guess we better make the most of it." He sat up and swung his legs over the edge. "Man, I could use a shower."
"Why don't you wash up in the sink, then put your clothes back on. I'll get stuff set out here." Blair lowered his gaze to their hands and Jim quickly released him, but not before the younger man felt a small tingle of ...something...race through him.
That tingle stayed with him for the remainder of their evening, such as it was. Dinner was eaten-every crumb of it. Neither one had felt much like eating during the day from all that was going on and now they relaxed just a little, full and sleepy and feeling ridiculously safe.
"Why?" Blair asked from his lounging position on the bed. "Why are we feeling safe? It's not like they couldn't come back in at any time."
"I don't think it's safe so much as numb, Chief. I don't know about you, but my brain can't process much more. It's like every time we figure they've done as much as they'll do, they do something else. Like with the whole cock ring thing. Yeah, they've threatened us with torture, death, whatever, but the truth of the matter is that the bitch wants her baby, and we're four days away from when it works best for her. At this point they might hurt us, but they want us whole and reasonably healthy, at least for another week or so. After that, I don't know." Jim watched his friend wiggle around until he was comfortable, the long curls falling this way and that. He had a sudden, nearly uncontrollable urge to wrap those curls around his hands and never let go. Blair cleared his throat and he looked up. "What?"
"You didn't hear a thing I just said, did you?"
"Guilty as charged." Who can hear, see or think when you're so close...so tantalizingly close? A slow warmth spread through his system and Jim realized with a start that only the heightened effects of the drug were gone. It was still very much present in his system, though his system didn't seem much inclined to do anything about it, other than enjoy the tingles racing through it. "What'd you say?"
"Just that I hope you're right. I don't know how much more I can take."
"We'll make it, Chief." That's it, Ellison. Pretend that you don't want to pull him into your arms and kiss him...make the hurt go away. "Um...about the other thing we talked about? This morning?"
Blair rolled over and looked at him warily. "Yeah?"
"I think we should start that tonight. The slower the better...and we don't know how well you'll, uh, accept anal penetration."
A sudden panicked look covered Blair's face. "What if I can't do it at all?" God, you're huge, man. You could rip me in two if you wanted. Or if you had no choice.
"I'll make sure you can do it, Chief. It's probably going to be uncomfortable at first-but we'll do this. Trust me. Please, trust me."
"I do, Jim. I can't not trust you."
"Do you want to get started?"
Blair sat up. "I guess so. It's not like I've got anything else I could go do." He paused, obviously nervous now, and uncertain. "What...I mean...do I need to-do anything?"
"You could go wash up, if you want. Take a few deep breaths and relax. If there're any problems, we'll stop, Blair. I'm not doing this to make you uncomfortable or anything. I want you to...well, I don't know if you'll enjoy it, but I don't want you hating it. Okay?"
"Yeah, sure." He slid off the bed and headed into the bathroom, then paused. "Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I'll hate it." The door closed behind him.
Lord, I hope not, Jim thought, slowly removing his own clothing. He looked down at his genitals, wondering what the odds were of him actually achieving an erection during any of this. Probably less than nil. He was sore, still, and kind of achy all over-the achy you get when muscles are tense for too long without any release.
"Do you want me to leave the lamp on?" he called through the closed door.
"No."
Blair's voice was tight and Jim's heart ached for his friend. If I could just transport us back in time or forward, or anywhere out of here...I'd do it in a heartbeat. He sighed. "I'll be in bed, Chief. Come out when you're ready."
His sentinel vision compensated for the lack of light in the room and he crawled into the small bed, his own heart pounding nervously. It'd been ages since he'd initiated anyone, and he had to get it right this time. There was so much more at stake right now. First and foremost, Blair was his friend. He had to do right by him for that, if nothing else.
The door opened and for just a minute the light from in there illuminated his friend's body. Jim caught a glimpse of the well-developed torso covered with a fine mat of dark hair-nothing he hadn't seen before. Seen from the perspective of becoming lovers, whether they wanted to or not, it had a different effect on him. Warmth rushed through his system, flooding him with surprisingly tender and erotic feelings. No physical signs of arousal; he just wasn't going to be up to that tonight. But he could make this good for Blair.
"Come on over, Chief," he called softly, his voice a little huskier than usual.
The light snapped off, then back on. "I'm really nervous about this, man," Blair's voice trembled. I want to do this. I need to do this. But God help me, I'm so scared I think I'm gonna throw up in a minute. He left the bathroom, leaving the door open a fraction for a little light.
"I know you are," was the almost gentle reply. Jim left the bed and stood in front of him, his hand outstretched. "I'll help you. We can get through this, Chief."
His
partner stood in front of him, trembling. Jim raised his hands to cup Blair's
face, and
whispered, "I won't hurt you, Blair. Trust me, I swear I won't. We'll make
it through this. Can I kiss you?" He waited for Blair's tentative nod,
then lowered his head to brush his mouth across the younger man's in a light,
teasing kiss. A sweet, salty taste greeted him, and he returned for a deeper
taste, pressing Blair's mouth open with his own.
Blair moaned low in his throat, but whether from fear or desire, Jim didn't know. He hoped it was desire. He didn't want to go too fast, but wasn't sure how slow to make it, either. He pulled away from his partner, and rubbed a thumb across the younger man's lips. "You okay?" he asked quietly, a big hand releasing its hold on Blair's head to gently stroke his face. They hadn't been allowed access to a razor since they'd been there, and the pale cheeks were dark with stubble. Jim found the scratchy softness very erotic as he stoked his finger across it.
"Yeah-just scared, " Blair breathed, the fingers on his face doing odd things to his pulse. "I know it's irrational, but it feels so real. Will you-will you kiss me again? It's...not so bad...when you kiss me." Blair swallowed hard and raised his eyes to look into Jim's.
"Oh, yeah, Chief, I'll kiss you," Jim growled low. There was an ache in the pit of his stomach, like a fire smoldering. One look at those incredible blue eyes coiled the tension in him tighter and he pulled Blair to him, mouth searching for all the sweetness his partner contained. Blair gave a small groan in the back of his throat and opened to him, allowing Jim's tongue to slide against his, the sensual friction of wet on wet nearly maddening. Jim gathered the smaller man as close to him as he could manage and began raining kisses across Blair's face and neck, pausing to suck at the soft skin he found there. He tasted so good, Jim was having trouble remembering why they'd never done this before. He licked the sensitive skin behind Blair's ear, and was rewarded with a soft, breathy moan. A quick dive in with teeth to nibble at that same spot, and Blair's head fell back, allowing Jim total access to that area.
"Let's get into bed," Jim breathed into the sensitive ear. Blair shuddered and nodded.
They faced each other on the bed, bodies close together. Jim leaned in and kissed Blair again, allowing his fingers to gently stroke through the soft hair on the younger man's chest. His lips moved everywhere, brushing across the wide planes of Blair's face, moving down over sharp cheekbones to nuzzle an ear, back up to graze over eyebrows and forehead. All the while his hands moved, stroking chest and sides, stomach and back.
"It feels good," Blair muttered, arching a little when Jim's fingers brushed over the flat nipples hidden in the luxuriant hair.
"It's supposed to," Jim said against the soft skin of his friend's neck. "I want you to enjoy this, as much as you can; to know I'll do my best to make it good for you, no matter what."
Blair brushed his own fingers across Jim's chest, noting the indrawn breath at his touch. "What about you?" he whispered.
"Not a chance in hell I'm up for anything right now, Chief." The older man drew back a little, his senses automatically cataloging Blair's responses to his touches and caresses. "Today was too much for me."
"Jim-"
"Hush. This is for you, to get you used to some contact. Don't worry about me." It feels good just to be able to touch you like this. I can pretend, for a little while, that there's no one but the two of us...that you're here because you want to be, not because you have to be.
"Kiss me again?" The familiar voice was husky, a little breathless. Jim willingly obliged, opening his senses up fully to the experience.
He let his hand drift lower this time, brushing over the curve of buttocks, dipping briefly into the top of the cleft between. Blair stiffened, then relaxed as the hands just stayed there, gently kneading the soft flesh. Skillful fingers teased and caressed, pressing and rubbing, until the younger man was actually pushing his ass backward, meeting some of the touches part way.
Jim continued to knead one cheek, sliding a finger from his other hand slowly down the outer edge of the cleft, following the curve as it wound its way to Blair's scrotum. He sucked on the flesh over Blair's collarbone, nipping with his teeth, attacking his partner's senses from all angles. His reward was a tiny moan of acceptance followed by a wiggle that slid Jim's finger into the cleft.
The moan was a little louder, a little breathier when he trailed his fingertips up and down that sensitive area, at the same time lowering his head further to lick at a nipple. A small bud formed against his tongue and he drew it into his mouth, suckling hard, mind rejoicing at Blair's response so far.
He wet a finger in his mouth, wishing for lubricant, then traced a line back from the balls hanging there so temptingly. "Just one finger to start with, buddy. Just relax, go with the sensations." As he talked he rubbed his wet finger around and over the outside of the anus, feeling the little budded opening throbbing with heat. He pressed against it lightly, felt the resistance of tight muscle. "Try to relax, Chief," he whispered into Blair's ear, tonguing the outer edge.
"I'm trying...Ah! Jim!" Blair arched away from the finger.
"I'm sorry...I'm being as gentle as I can. Shh-just go with it." The finger slipped inside, barely breaching the muscle there. Blair tensed around him. "No, no...relax. I'm not going to hurt you. That's it..." Jim covered his partner's mouth with his own, stroking his tongue against the other's, tasting and touching. Blair relaxed around him and he gently pushed the finger a little further inside, his own body relaxing as the muscles loosened around him. "How's that?" he asked, breaking the kiss.
"Feels...weird...but okay, I guess." Blair nuzzled at Jim's neck and wished the circumstances around this were different. He knew he'd like to make love with Jim.
"Okay-I'm going to move it inside you now." The finger began moving around, thrusting gently, carefully. After a while, Blair started pushing back against the thrusts, pressing the finger deeper within his body. His breathing hitched a little and Jim felt the first stirrings of arousal spread through him from knowing he was doing this to Blair.
"Oh..." The younger man groaned when Jim removed the finger. "Why'd you stop?"
"Two fingers, Chief." The older man spat into his other hand and coated the two fingers liberally. "I'd give anything for some real lube. Here we go. Remember, relax..."
The fingers circled his hole again, teasing the outer edge, making him shiver. Blair closed his eyes and huddled against Jim, his body at war with itself. It felt so odd...but so good, too. The first finger slipped inside him again, then the second one followed. He gasped, the sensation of fullness increasing dramatically. "Jim!"
"Easy-just two fingers, Blair. Easy..." Jim murmured the words in his ear, then took Blair's mouth when the younger man turned blindly toward him, his lips open, inviting.
"I think...this is okay..." Blair panted, when they parted again. He could feel Jim thrusting within him, fingers moving carefully, slowly, opening him up. He shuddered at the thought of what else would be moving inside him in a few days, then pushed the thought away.
"Do you want to try three tonight?" Jim stilled his hand, just holding the fingers there, in Blair's body. The muscles tightened and loosened reflexively around him while his partner considered.
"No...I want to...I like it so far...let's don't push it."
"Okay." Jim withdrew his hand and leaned to kiss Blair. "Let me wash up real quick. Be right back." He pulled his clothes on quickly while he in there, then was back, sliding in to rest his warmth next to his partner. It was cool in this room and he wasn't surprised that Blair had dressed quickly as well. He felt a shiver run through the lean frame. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Blair said, daring to reach a finger up to stroke Jim's cheek. "Thank you, I think."
"You think?" The puzzled frown was evident in Jim's voice and Blair bit back a laugh, afraid it would sound hysterical.
"I'm not sure if I should be thanking you or not...I've never had anyone explain the etiquette in a situation like this." He paused. "I did like it, Jim. It felt really weird at first, but, man... But what about you? You didn't-"
"Neither did you," Jim hastened to point out. "This really wasn't intended to be sexual, Blair. I want you to be ready for when we have to have sex. I wanted it to feel good, and be good for you, but I wasn't worried about reciprocity."
"Oh." The younger man was quiet then, for so long that Jim grew worried. He touched his cheek.
"Blair? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I was hoping...I guess...that you'd enjoy it, too."
"I enjoyed knowing that it was a positive experience for you. Anal sex isn't for everyone, and even though we didn't do that, you did okay with the penetration part. That's a good sign."
"It is?"
"Yeah, buddy. It is."
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I...would you...hold me? For a little while?"
"C'mere, Chief." Jim shifted them until they were spooned together. Blair sighed and settled fully against him, soft ass pressing into his groin. Good thing I'm not able to have sex at the moment. Under normal circumstances, I'd have a boner so hard it'd send him running for the other side of the planet right about now. Or would it? Deciding that musings on his now extremely complicated relationship with his partner could wait until later, Jim brushed a kiss across Blair's shoulder and went to sleep.
They fell into a pattern of sorts for the remaining three days before the rituals were to begin. Yvelle and Chardis showed up each morning with two large women. Jim and Blair were restrained and the cock ring fastened on at the same time the injection was administered. After the second day Jim didn't struggle, but they restrained him anyway.
At night they lay together in the small bed they were sharing, Jim's fingers slowly, gently, stretching Blair out, readying him for what was sure to be a painful experience nonetheless. For as more of the drugs built up in his system, Jim began to doubt his ability to truly control his responses. He didn't think he'd lose control to the point of rape, but he doubted he would be as gentle as Blair needed-deserved-for at least his first time out.
They shared kisses and caresses, taking comfort from each other and the feelings they were learning they could rouse within the other. Jim never managed an erection. Too sore from the on-going restraints of the cock ring, he nevertheless enjoyed the warmth that spread through him when Blair's hands stroked down his body, lingering on his chest, his face, circling his navel. Never once did the younger man touch his cock; Jim wasn't certain if it was because he was afraid he'd cause Jim more pain, or if he just wasn't ready to go there yet. It wasn't until the second to the last night before the rituals that Jim touched Blair's. Then, primed from countless kisses, stroking, sucking and fingering, Blair exploded into Jim's hand. Afterward they snuggled together, enjoying the comfort and enjoyment they'd shared. Blair reflected that even if they did die at the hands of the madwoman holding them, at least he'd known once what it was like to have Jim as his lover.
***
The effects of the injection got worse with each administration, lasting long, being more intense. Blair watched Jim slowly writhing on the bed, his face taut with pain. Today was the final day. Tomorrow morning they'd be separated at dawn, taken away for purifying, then for the rituals themselves.
After that, near as they could figure, it was three days of sex intended to produce as much sperm as possible. They would be kept alive until Chardis either was pregnant or got her period. What would happen if she got pregnant, neither one knew. No one had said. They both knew all too well what would happen if she got her period. They'd seen the bodies of eight men who'd obviously been unsuccessful.
"Jim-can I do anything?" Blair whispered the words, afraid to speak too loudly.
"No...Yes...shit. Take it off me...please..." His body shuddered as the drug obviously surged through him and Blair winced, looking at the thick, hard erection that was nearly purple from tip to root now.
"Jesus, Jim..." God, I want to, man. Don't you think I don't? I can't-they'd kill us. Or me. But is my life worth watching you practically dying in agony? How bad would it be for me? Blair shuddered, fairly certain he didn't want to find out. Neither did he want Jim to suffer any more. He reached his hand out, wavering, uncertain. The older man saw him and shook his head.
"Don't...don't listen to me, Sandburg. I'll survive." Jim panted, then rolled onto his side. "Talk to me? Take my mind off-this?"
"Sure, man. What do you want me to talk about?"
"I don't care. Just talk."
So he did. He chattered for the longest time, recounting some experiences he'd had with the Huwandi tribe in Eastern Africa, a fishing expedition in the Gulf gone awry when he was visiting with some cousins in Texas, and the different articles he'd read that had led him to Sir Richard Burton, and Sentinels-and ultimately to Jim. When he paused to take a drink from the cup sitting beside him he noticed that Jim's breathing seemed a little easier, the erection not quite so prominent. Maybe he could rest for a little while.
Even at rest though, Jim's body looked strained. Tight, tense, the muscles coiled from so many days spent in a constant state of arousal. Jim had told him last night, after he'd come, that the drug was hardly wearing off at all anymore. There was finally enough built up in his system that he always felt at least a little aroused. The only thing stopping him from getting an erection while lying with Blair was that he was too sore.
I wonder how the women are expecting he's gonna be able to fuck me? If he's so sore that he can't get it up while we're lying in bed together, caressing each other, how's it supposed to happen when we're in an unknown situation? Of course, he had no idea what the circumstances would be, surrounding the fertility rites. And when he thought about it, sore or not, Jim got an erection now almost as soon as he'd received the injection. Must be the stimulant. Wonder when the henbane shit comes into play? All the other pairs had it-well, the big guys did. He gulped with the realization that, for the first time, he'd lumped them into the "all the rest" category. Shit. I'm not ready to die, God. Not yet. Too many things to do, to say, to be. Too much left to experience in life. Please don't let me die in here. I trust Jim to get us out...but I'm thinking he's going to need a little assistance with this one.
A low moan from the bed jerked his attention back. Jim's face was white, sweat dripping off the end of his nose. He watched, mesmerized, as the large hand reached for the spitting, straining erection-
"Jim! No, man! Don't!"
His words jerked Jim out of whatever dream he'd been having and his hand fell weakly onto the bed. "Aw, man. Shit. I almost blew it, didn't I?"
"I think you almost caused yourself a lot of pain." Blair got out of the chair and started pacing. "We could try some cold compresses-that might help."
"It can't hurt." The weariness in Jim's voice was gut wrenching. Blair turned to get the towel and wet it.
He never got the chance. The door opened and Yvelle and Chardis strolled in. A couple of quick steps took him to Jim's side, where he hovered protectively. A look from Chardis sent him over by the table, reluctantly. Yvelle came to stand beside him.
"You look like you're in some pain, Detective." Their captor ran her hand down Jim's chest. Blair's heart skipped a couple of beats, then doubled when the hand continued down to the erection. "Want some help with that?"
"NO!" Jim shouted, his hips surging up off the bed when her hand wrapped around him. "Goddamn you to fucking HELL and back, woman!"
"Such language," she clucked in a mock-sad tone. "So you don't want any help with this?"
"Just take the fucking ring off."
"Ask me nicely."
"Please."
"You need to do better than that." She trailed her fingers up and down, lightly. Blair winced, watching Jim grit his teeth.
"Please, Chardis. Take the ring off."
"Very well, since you asked so nicely." She ran her fingers down his length again, then unsnapped the ring. "Have a nice night, boys. We'll see you early in the morning."
Jim lasted until the door shut behind the women before letting loose with a groan that seemed to have originated from his toes. His erection throbbed angrily, standing out from his body like it was made of steel.
"Jim?"
"Cold cloth, Sandburg..." he hissed. "Please."
They got the painful erection down and Jim curled in on himself and went to sleep, with hardly a word to Blair. The younger man sat next to his friend on the bed and watched him sleep, guarding him protectively. He ached from not having been able to do anything to prevent all of this, any of this. At least tomorrow Jim will get some relief for all this. His stomach tightened with that thought, because relief for his partner meant pain for him. In spite of the last several days, he knew what it was going to be like...and he wasn't looking forward to it. Well, as long as Jim's not hurting any more, I can handle anything. Anything. He curled up next to the older man and smiled when Jim moved closer to him in his sleep.
Chapter 10
Our Father, which wert in heaven...
-Satanist Prayer
Blair woke with a strange prickling sensation raising the tiny hairs on the back of his neck. Something was wrong-very out of sync. He pushed himself up on one elbow, squinting in the blackness, trying to see what was throwing him.
"Whasmatter?" Jim asked groggily, moving against him.
"I don't know-something woke me up." Blair whispered, feeling absurdly like they weren't alone and he needed to be quiet or draw its attention. What 'it' was, he couldn't have said.
"Blair?"
"Shh. I don't know, Jim." He folded himself back up against his partner's chest, trying to pull into as small a ball as possible. A warm hand rubbed his back soothingly.
"You're probably on edge because-"
Because this is it. Jim didn't say the words; he didn't need to. Blair was as aware as he was what the significance of today was. It'd been explained very clearly to them. They'd be taken away for purification; led through a black mass, then dedicated to Satan's service. After that, they'd have sex.
"That's probably it." Blair still didn't raise his voice and he huddled a little closer to Jim, trying to draw strength from the bigger man. He was going to need all he could get for the upcoming days. "They're gonna be here soon," he said after a long pause. Jim held him a little closer.
"Yeah, they are."
"You think we'll be different after this?" Of course we'll be different, what a stupid thing to ask. What I want to know, is will you still see me as your partner, your friend? Or will you see me just as someone you fucked- No, I know better than that. Where's this coming from?
"Blair-what's wrong?" Jim tilted his head back to look at his partner, able to see the pale face in the dark of the room.
"I don't know." Sandburg pulled a ragged breath in, his entire body clenched tight with fear. "Nothing's changed."
"Everything's changed." In a few more hours we're going to be doing something that neither of us ever foresaw doing. We never expected to get to this point; whether we wanted to-whether I wanted to-in real life, is immaterial. We hadn't planned on this. Will you still be my friend? My guide? My partner? Or will this eradicate all of that from our lives? Will you still want to lie here with me, knowing that I hurt you just a few hours before? Because God help me, Blair, I'm so afraid I'm going to, that I won't be able to control the beast I feel rising up inside me every time they shove that damned needle into my arm.
With a small groan of need that Jim had never anticipated he pulled Blair's face up to his and covered the smaller man's mouth; taking a kiss from him for the first time without asking permission first. He felt the smaller body tremble in his arms and released him, just holding him then, trying to convey feelings without words.
"I want to...protect you, Blair. But I don't know..."
"Jim-I know what they've been giving you. I know what it does to you. And I know you. I trust you. With my life." And my heart, which pretty much belongs to you anyway.
The darkness closed in around them again as they lay there in each other's arms, friends about to become lovers through coercion, without choice; both men shaking with fear and need, trying to draw comfort and strength from one another.
Chardis and Yvelle came not more than an hour later. They were still lying in bed, huddled against one another, trying to pretend that none of this was going to happen. With the expected women came another, one that both had seen before but whose name they'd never learned. She was big, with a large, powerful body and strong-looking hands, and a no-nonsense expression on her interesting face. "Interesting" because she wasn't good-looking, in the conventional sense, but her features were very commanding. She exuded power, and Jim found himself wondering just exactly who was in charge of all of this.
"This is Serita, Detective Ellison. She's going to be your personal bath attendant." Chardis had a mocking grin on her face with that, implying that he probably wasn't going to enjoy very much whatever it was they had planned. "Mr. Sandburg," the bitch continued, "Yvelle is going to be your personal bath attendant. You all will have so much fun together."
Blair did not care for the way that sounded.
"Come on boys, out of bed," Chardis pulled the blanket back, reveling the two naked men, lying close together. "Tsk, tsk, maybe I should have left that cock ring on you, Detective."
"I wasn't in any kind of shape to do anything and you fucking well know it," Jim snarled at her, swinging his legs over the side. He could feel Blair's body shaking behind him. "Let's get on with this and get it over with."
"Oh, I don't think it's going to be accomplished quite that quickly or easily, Detective. You see, it's not just sex once, for the next couple of days-it's going to be as much as we can get out of you. We'll see to that." Chardis smirked at him, that mocking smile that he had quickly come to hate.
"You keep your potions and shit away from me. I told you I'll do what needs to be done, just quit drugging me!"
"Serita, the detective obviously needs to have his attitude attended to as well as his personal grooming. You'll see to that, won't you? But be sure to leave him capable of doing his duty, as well. Don't get, ah, too carried away with yourself."
The large woman inclined her head. "Never, Mistress," she murmured quietly, though Jim detected a hint of abrasiveness in her tone. "Detective-if you'll come with me," she said it politely, as if he had a choice, and for a moment Jim wondered if he truly did. Well, of course he did-live or die. Some choice. He didn't struggle in Serita's grasp; instinctively he knew it was useless. She was nearly as tall as Simon and as big around as Joel Taggart, and , he suspected, a helluva lot meaner than either of them. He knew he was going to the ritual bath, and hoped that Blair would be treated all right during his. The last sounds he heard before Serita steered him around a corner of the hallway were those of Yvelle leading Blair out of their room.
Blair followed Yvelle down the hallway, heart lodged somewhere in his throat. The last few days hadn't been so bad, as the level of fear in him had slowly subsided, assisted by Jim's attentions in preparing him for their sex. Minimal contact with Chardis had also helped keep the fear at bay. Now, however, it was reality. Not only were they going to actually have to do what they'd hoped to avoid, and have sex together, there were the unknowns: the Satanic ceremonies. Visions of the mutilated corpses they'd found all over Cascade slammed into his brain, and Blair blanched, shaking all over.
He was led-naked, for they hadn't allowed either him or Jim to dress prior-down a long brick and stone hallway to a small room that was fitted as a bathing room. Literally. Large, sunken tub and separate walk-in shower; along with a sink and toilet, and a massage table. There were several shelves over the sink, with towels and soap and some other items that Blair didn't want to think about.
"Lay down and draw your knees up," Yvelle commanded him, pushing him toward a low table fitted with a thin pad and a rubber sheet. He did as he was bid, heart hammering nervously, throat and mouth dry. The young woman rummaged around in the cabinet next to the table and removed a small bag and rubber tubing. Blair shivered when he realized what they were and what they were going to be used for.
"Can I have something to drink? Water?" he asked, praying for a respite, however temporary.
"No. The ritual process has begun. Nothing from now until you are finished." She busied herself filling the bag from the faucet, and Blair found himself hoping she remembered to at least use warm water. This was bad enough-cold water would be like torture. Yvelle turned back toward him, bag in hand. "Pull your legs up further, and relax. It's not going to hurt, you know."
"It doesn't have to hurt; it's still a violation." Blair closed his eyes as he felt Yvelle probing at his anus with the tip of the tubing. Violation aside, this was humiliating as hell.
"You're not being violated in any way, Blair." Her voice was light, conversational. Blair's eyes flew open in shock.
"You're
putting something into my body that I didn't give permission to; making me take
part in
an activity I don't want to do. What would you call it?"
"Oh, yes...it really looked as if you don't want to be with your...lover." The tone in Yvelle's voice changed, became like ice trickling over his back. Blair felt himself flushing, both from shame and anger. He didn't understand the shame-he and Jim had done nothing, except lie together, close, taking comfort from one another. There was nothing wrong with what they were going to do, either, except that they were being forced to do it. Anger? Well, even a saint would be hard pressed not to be furious over this situation.
He felt as much as heard the little <click> when Yvelle released the clamp, and tensed slightly, waiting for the pressing sensation of water flowing into his body. A shudder passed through him as the water worked its way into him and Yvelle laughed, purposefully misinterpreting it. "Enjoying this, are you?"
He shuddered again. "No," he managed, trying not to clench up. Fighting it didn't do any good, and the sooner it was over, the sooner he could get on with the rest of it. He felt the groan work its way up out of his throat as his bowels filled. How much could he take? He'd never had an enema before...didn't know much about them. "Please..."
"Please, what?"
"Tell me-" A sudden cramp filled him and he gritted his teeth.
"Just relax, you're fine. Once all the water is inside you, then you have to hold it until you can't stand the pressure anymore. Then we'll go to the toilet."
"Ohhh..." Jesus, this was humiliating. He knew it wasn't supposed to be like this, with a crazy woman watching while he filled up, lying naked and exposed on a table in the midst of a cold room. He shivered from the chill and Yvelle smirked at him again.
At last the bag of water was emptied in to him. Blair stiffened a little, the pressure inside him filling but not uncomfortably demanding yet. He shifted a little, uneasily, waiting for Yvelle to remove the rubber tubing from him. "Just lay there until you feel the urge to go. Wait for it to get really strong-you'll know."
He laid there for several long minutes before the pressure intensified in his bowels. Yvelle watched him, and he shrunk back into himself, wondering again how this had happened to him-to them. At last he felt the urge strongly to have to go, and shifted himself up. "Now-" he cut off mid-sentence then as his body cramped from the combination of nerves and the water cleansing his body. Yvelle roughly helped him off the table and over to the toilet, then stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and another smug smile on her face.
"Please," he began, "can I have a little privacy for this?" Please don't tell me you're going to make me take a shit while you watch, too. She shook her head no, and his face blossomed crimson.
He felt the spasms begin, and couldn't control them; he shook violently for several minutes as he emptied the water into the toilet. There was very little actual waste; he hadn't had solid food in three days, so his body wasn't processing much. Still, it was a humiliating experience in the extreme. Yvelle stood by the entire time he was voiding, smiling an evil smile at him, as if she thought he was enjoying himself. He sat there for several minutes after he'd finished, until his legs felt strong enough to support him, before levying himself up. He then stumbled behind Yvelle to the tub where he would be ritually bathed.
"Do some deep knee-bends," she told him before letting him into the tub.
"Huh?" This was the oddest thing yet.
"Knee-bends. Squats? You don't want to be pushing water out while you're being fucked, do you?"
He shuddered again at the conversational, yet menacing, tone, then began squatting deeply. Blair could feel his face flush a deep, rich red when his body discharged some water, the waste running down his legs.
"See? Always pays to be diligent."
He nodded numbly and moved toward the tub.
The bath itself was almost nice; warm, soothing, cleansing. All he'd had for the last six days were birdbaths, of a sort, cleaning with water run in the sink. He'd washed his hair a couple of times, because it was too stringy and greasy to be borne, but hadn't enjoyed leaning over a small bathroom sink to do it. Blair washed himself thoroughly, soaping and rinsing several times, before he began to feel clean. Yvelle left him to soak for a little bit while she prepared some sort of anointing oil, and he took the opportunity to do some deep breathing and calming exercises.
Nice and easy, Blair. You're gonna make it through all this, Jim's gonna make it through all this. You know that somewhere out there Simon and the rest of the department are looking for you... and I'm supposed to believe me? I just want to wake up in my own bed. No memories of this whole experience, preferably, but to just be home would be fine. Well, wait. If I had no memories left, then I wouldn't have the memories of the time with Jim...
Jesus, Sandburg! You need to focus on something else, here. Blair shook his head, angry with himself. They were in a fucking life-likely-death situation and he couldn't get his mind out of the bed.
"It's time," Yvelle's voice cut into his thoughts and he looked up to see her looming over him, a towel waiting. On the table in front of the tub was a bottle of viscous liquid; presumably the oil.
With slow, precise motions, Blair climbed out of the tub and dried himself off. When Yvelle gestured to the table he sighed quietly and moved to sit on the edge, assuming he was going to be rubbed with the oil. He started when she pushed him onto his back then bade him draw up his legs again, her intentions suddenly crystal-clear.
"No...no, please..."
Her smile was icy-cold and predatory as she advanced on him, her oily fingers gleaming in the light.
Jim finished his bath, shaking in anger and frustration. The tub had been outfitted with water jets, and they ran continuously during the bathing; hundreds of tiny fingers set to stimulate him, rouse him further. Twice during the scrub down Serita had fondled him; hands grasping him none too gently. Jim wasn't sure if she was trying to arouse him, or intimidate him. Considering the person, he figured on intimidation. He set his mind on what was coming, and did his best to ignore her. He was able to do that, more or less, until Chardis showed up.
*She* wasn't content to just grope and fondle while bathing him; she climbed into the tub and smeared herself with soap, then rubbed her body around and against his. He found himself drawing back away from her, disgusted by the whole thing. She thought she could force him into a position where he was going to hurt his best friend, then turn around and expect him to welcome her advances? It was all he could do not to grasp her by the neck and snap it in two. He didn't give he and Blair a half percent of a chance of escape if he did that though, so he clenched his jaw and bore it. Chardis wasn't pleased with his refusal of her, and told him so.
"You'll pay for insulting me," she promised as she climbed out of the tub.
"I'm already paying-what more could you do?"
"You
might not want to find out the answer to that question, Detective. Have a
care-we still
have your friend." She smiled a cold, evil smile at him, eyes glowing oddly.
Serita handed him a towel to dry himself, then approached with the now-familiar syringe. His heart pounded at the sight, because he remembered vividly how bad it had been yesterday when he'd received the injection. At least this time he'd be permitted some relief... He pulled back from those thoughts in horror, amazed he'd even thought them at all. To consider hurting his best friend, just for relief-!
Heat from the drug began coursing through him almost immediately, and why not? He was primed now, with the drug built up in his system like it was. All the new injection had to do was spark that. He felt the familiar dizziness and swayed a bit, then turned to see Serita watching him consideringly.
"I need to sit down until the dizziness passes." He refused to ask-he'd be damned if he asked any one of these bitches for anything.
She inclined her head, indicating a small bench near the wall. He sat down gratefully, his head spinning.
It took longer this time; he judged nearly a quarter-hour, if his internal clock could be trusted at all. Once the worst of the initial dizziness was past he was able function marginally; he refused to acknowledge the heat of the erection that was building and got to his feet. As was the case during the first effects, his tactile sense was heightened considerably and the molecules of air rushing past him as he moved caressed his skin, sending sparks skittering along his nerve endings.
God help me, I'm not going to give in to this. I'm not going to take him like a fucking animal in rut. I'm not...
"Come on." The large woman grasped his arm and shook it impatiently; he followed behind her, his defenses lowered, at least for the moment, by the drugs within him.
He was escorted, naked, to the ritual chamber. The chamber itself wasn't large, but gave the appearance of being so because of high, vaulted ceilings made of natural rock. Where in the hell are we? Well, hell seems appropriate enough, anyway. There was what appeared to be an altar in front of him; as well as a table, and some chairs. Candles and black cloth covered nearly every surface, and there was an incense fire burning in an open pit behind the altar. On the altar were several objects he couldn't identify, and didn't want to; along with several wicked looking knives, and a couple of stone bowls. Jim figured that if he went and looked, Blair's earrings were probably still up there.
Blair was already there when he arrived, and Jim frowned his concern for his friend. The younger man looked pale and shaky, and Jim could read the weariness in his eyes. What did they do to him? Whatever it was, they're going to pay. Someone will pay for this.
He didn't have time for further thoughts; the women of the cult were moving into positions around the chamber. He was forced to his knees next to Blair, his own body firing again as he smelled the scent that meant so much to him. His partner was shivering, shaking a little bit, the bitter tang of fear mixed in with the light aroma that made up Blair Sandburg, and his heart went out to the younger man. He knows. He knows what's going to happen...and even if he's resigned to it, he's still scared to death. Just the thought of hurting Blair made him sick to his stomach, but even that wasn't enough to overcome the absolute lust and need that was racing through him.
There was frenzied activity up at the altar that drew his thoughts away from his partner and even away from the heat in his body, for a moment. With disgust curling through him he realized that he smelled blood now, the strong odor originating from the altar that he could no longer see clearly. A high-pitched scream echoed around the chamber walls, nearly deafening him, and when the bodies in front of the altar cleared, Jim could see clearly a young woman-probably no more than sixteen, if that, lying on the altar, bleeding profusely from a gash across her breasts.
Next to him Blair was making choking, retching noises, and Jim leaned fractionally closer, hoping to lend some of his strength to his partner. The gesture was obviously appreciated, because Blair leaned in also.
"Man, if they sacrifice her, I'm like, so outta here," Blair mumbled thickly around the lump in his throat. "I mean it, Jim. I don't care what happens to me in the trying-I can't stay here if they kill her."
"I know, Chief," the bigger man soothed, trying to quell his own rising nausea. "I don't think they're gonna kill her though." He jerked his chin toward the altar where the women were filing, one by one, to lean down and lick and suck at the wound, very obviously drinking the blood flowing there and just as obviously enjoying it.
Chardis appeared, dressed in a flowing black robe with strange symbols embroidered on it in scarlet thread. She stood in front of the girl, her hands spread wide, moving restlessly. Her words were oddly formal, yet intimate at the same time, and she stroked the inner thighs of the girl, her face carefully blank.
"You've given us the blood for the host, provided our nourishment for this most sacred of ceremonies. In different times, under different circumstances you would be sacrificed unto death; your virginity taken as an offering to our lord, then your body offered to soothe and appease his hungers." Chardis brushed aside her robe to reveal a large, strapped-on phallus, moving between the young woman's thighs and spreading them. The girl closed her eyes, a serene expression moving over her face. "Your virginity will still be offered up to our lord that he might pleasure himself; I will act as the conduit for this pleasure." The words spoken the older woman thrust herself into the girl, a radiant smile spreading across her face as a scream echoed and bounced around the chamber once again.
"The sacrifice of your body is not necessary now; we have others who will fit that sacrifice much better. The offering of your chastity has pleased our lord and his will shall be ours and his strength ours as well." She withdrew from the writhing body, the pale dildo stained red with blood where the girl's hymen had broken. In an oddly tender gesture she ran her fingernails down the girl's check, then smiled. "You have done well, Mycia. Prepare yourself now to join the rest of the ceremonies. Your sacrifice in our cause will be noted and remembered."
The young woman nodded and sat up, assisted off the altar by one of the other women who also guided her out of the chamber.
Jim felt his hackles rise when Chardis moved in front of them, standing at the altar. She'd removed the phallus and was there now, in only a black robe, staring heatedly at them while Serita bent to draw a large pentagram in a circle around Chardis' feet. His attention focused on the area in front of them. He would swear he could see the air currents shimmering with electricity now, the swirling, bright currents moving with purpose.
The women of the cult gathered around them and Jim was astonished to find that there were several dozen all together. One woman held out a tray containing what looked like small black triangles; when he and Blair were prodded to take one and put them in their mouths he discovered they tasted much as he remembered the wafers of the host tasting from church services in his youth.
A black chalice studded with blood-red jewels of some sort was raised and although Jim could hear Chardis' mumblings he could not make out the words. A rough hand forced his mouth open and the chalice was held to his lips; unwillingly he swallowed, tasting, to his surprise, wine. Next to him Blair gagged as the procedure was repeated. The chalice was handed back to Chardis and she drew fingerfuls of the rich liquid and scattered it over the crowd of women like raindrops. Jim shuddered in painful surprise when the large group thundered as one, "Sanguis eius super nos et filios nostros."
"What the hell does that mean?" he mouthed to Blair, leaning as close as he dared.
"I don't know," his partner mouthed back. "Something about blood and children, but I don't know Latin that well."
The group of women, led by Chardis, with Serita immediately to her right, began reciting what both men quickly recognized as a perversion of the Lord's Prayer:
"Our
Father, who wert in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Kingdom come
Thy will be done
On Earth as 'tis done in Hell..."
The second time through the prayer, another chalice was lifted up, and blessed by the madwoman standing at the head of the altar. A black chicken was raised, and its head bitten off by Serita and the blood of the body drained into the chalice. Again the chalice was held to Jim's lips; he gagged as the warm fluid touched his lips, but he wasn't forced to drink this time. Blair wasn't forced either, and Jim found himself wondering why they'd been made to drink the wine but not the blood. Interesting, he thought, his whole body still shuddering from the feel of it against his lips. I wonder if they'd have pressed the issue if I'd actually put up a fight. Then again, this is their show now. There's probably very little that they couldn't make us do, at this point. As if to prove his own point, Jim became conscious again of the insistent throbbing in his body, not helped at all by the slow, steady drum beat in the background that was now pulsing in time with his heart and blood.
Then the drum stopped, and Jim was drawn out of his musings by rough hands grasping him around the forearms. He was pulled abruptly toward the altar, not given the chance to walk or assist. Is that it? Is the service over? Although far from an expert on black mass, he was fairly certain there was to be more to it than that...but perhaps this was a combined ceremony of sorts, since they, or at least he still had to be dedicated to Satan's service.
A sharp sting in his arm focused his attention and he nearly roared in frustrated rage as he realized he'd been injected with the drugs again. He could feel the burning he already was experiencing increase suddenly. No, no...don't do this to me; don't do this to us! He cried aloud in his head. How was he going to control himself? He could barely control the feelings it engendered as it was. How was he going to manage another dose? He would, though. I won't hurt Blair; I can't. He trusts me, believes in me. Knows my strengths better than I do. Jim looked up and found his guide's eyes with his own, felt the trust and caring...and love...pouring from Blair to him through that connection.
The connection was interrupted, although not broken, when Serita and Yvelle grasped him again by the forearms and forced him down onto a table that had been drug in front of the altar. He was positioned, laying face up, and tied, arms and legs spread-eagled. Jim watched Blair's face, saw his friend blanch when they tied him down. His own heart was pounding like a runaway train in his chest; he was certain that the bitches could hear it. It sounded like thunder in his ears. A high-pitched keening caught his attention, nearly shattering his eardrum. He winced in pain, and dimly heard Blair say softly, for his ears only; "dial down". He nodded, and tried to focus, but was unable to make the dials work well. How did you focus on something like that when your entire existence was suddenly narrowed to the burning in your cock and the desire to thrust into whatever warm, willing body was offered as available? That thought bounced his brain, sending humiliation coursing through him as he realized that he was lying there, for anyone to see, his dick standing totally erect, straight up from his body. And he couldn't do a damn, fucking thing about it, as aroused as he was right now.
Jim kept his head turned, maintaining eye contact with his guide, who'd also been pushed forward, then forced to his knees in front of the table, his head held firmly in place, to watch whatever was going to happen next. Whatever the ceremony Chardis was performing, Jim was obviously now the star participant and all eyes in the small chamber were transfixed on him. He kept his focus on Blair, the light in the dark blue eyes holding him steady when the world around him wavered and shimmered, as more of the drug worked its way further into his system. A horridly loud crashing noise broke his concentration and he winced, his eyes flickering from Blair to Chardis. She was addressing someone, calling them forth. Satan. The dedication portion of the ceremony was here, then.
"Come to us, Dark Lord, our Master, our Beloved. Bestow your power upon us, mortal and weak to your greatness. Bless me with your power, your greatness. Conceive within me a child, to rule the earth while you rule the netherworlds. Hear me, oh Dark Lord, and grant me this. I offer this man before us, he will provide the vessel through which our child will be achieved. I am the conduit for your power, he is the receiver. The child will be yours. To show my loyalty, I give you this offering of flesh and blood, to be consumed at thy will, according to thy will: "
With those words Chardis approached him. She now held a long, wicked looking knife in her hands, and he tensed, remembering the intricate carved patterns on the bodies of the four large men they'd found. He could hear Blair breathing rapidly in and out, and knew his friend was on the verge of hyperventilating. He considered it himself as Chardis loomed over him, knife poised. She brought it down quickly, sharply, and stopped just short of fully penetrating his skin. The blade still hurt, as it cut into his skin, and Jim sucked his breath in sharply. Chardis smiled down at him as she began carving a delicate, curved design on the inside of his thighs. He shuddered and bit down on the groan that was trying to escape, his sense of touch out of control from the drugs. After marking each thigh she moved the knife and repeated the pattern higher up, on his abdomen, just below his navel. Jim found himself trying to focus enough to dial down on his sense of touch...but it was not in his control any more than hearing had been a little while ago. With a deep, shuddering breath he clenched his teeth and tried to focus on something else.
Blair watched in horror as the madwoman holding them brought the knife down, cutting into the pale flesh of Jim's spread thighs. He could see red now, where the blood was beginning to well up; watched his friend's face clench tightly as the pain worked its way through a body already overly stimulated from drugs and other outside stimuli. Jim's jaw worked and Blair knew he was clenching it hard, to keep from making any sounds that would alert Chardis-or anyone else-to the fact that this was hurting him badly.
As the grad student watched, the sheet beneath Jim started to turn red with the blood that ran dripped freely now from his wounds. A small sob worked its way up and out of Blair's throat and he tried to turn his head away, the hands holding him preventing him even that. He closed his eyes briefly, then realized that he needed them open, needed to watch Jim, be there to offer what tiny amount of solace and comfort he could, if Jim chanced to look at him again. His eyes opened, a small surge of determination sparking through him. This was just the beginning; things would be far, far worse before they were better. The least he could do was remain present for his partner...his lover.
Jim clenched his jaw tighter and closed his eyes, his mind seeking an escape; anything would do at this point. One of the meditation exercises Blair had taught him. The next fishing trip they were going on. Simon's cigar smoke. Blair's lips on his. The last thought snagged him, and he lost himself in the sensation of the memory. A hard slap across the face brought him back to reality, along with the sensation of fingers running up and down his erect cock. He squirmed slightly, feeling himself harden further, his cock burning with its need for release. The drug was searing through his system now, and the only reason he'd forgotten it temporarily had been his concern over the knife. But even now, still feeling his blood dripping down his legs, Jim couldn't stop the fever from spreading throughout his system.
He arched into the hand that was stroking him, a groan of shame breaking from his lips. Chardis smiled, a cold, cruel smile. She stroked Jim and tilted her head back calling, "See, my Lord, the power we have over this man. He is ours, to do our bidding. I offer you his blood, gathered by cutting his flesh; burned in sacrifice to you." The sheet under Jim was pulled out, and thrown onto the incense fire; a heavy, acrid smoke rising as it caught fire and burned. "I offer his services, and that of his lover, another man. In an unholy act of passion and defilement they will provide the means for you to enter this world in human form. We thumb our nose at he who claims to be God, who cast you from the heavens where you should have ruled. Look, my Lord and Master! This man is ready to serve you! He is ready!" Chardis called attention to Jim's cock, standing up straight, stiff and hard. She rubbed her hand down its length again, stroking him hard, and Jim felt rage course through him, competing with the fever for his attention.
He turned his head to look at Blair and met the younger man's eyes; calm, steady, supportive, Blair was there, watching him, waiting for him, ready to help him in any small way he could. In direct contrast, Jim could hear his heart beating fast, thready and erratic. He found himself staring into the younger man's eyes, transfixed by the depth of the smoky-blue pupils, finding a strange peace and tranquillity there. He felt, perversely, that he could weather anything with Blair beside him, even knowing the reality of their situation was not good. Tears sprang into his eyes, and he thought he caught a glimpse of moisture in Blair's, reflecting from the many candles burning in the small room.
I love you, Blair. I know you're here for me...will always be here for me. I don't know what's going to happen to us when this is all done. Well, I do...but I don't want to know. I wish this could have happened under different circumstances; we'd have been so good together, I think. Everything we are, we could have made that even better than it is now. I'm sorry, Chief. I'm sorry for every fucking instance I've ever not appreciated you; for everything that has happened to you because of me, because of knowing me. And I'm so sorry that this is happening now, that I can't do anything to prevent it. Forgive me, Blair...please. Someday, somewhere, maybe some other time, but please forgive me.
The younger man met his partner's gaze with as much calm as he could force into his eyes. Jim needs me to be strong for him...for me...for us. Right now, I have to do this for him. I have to. There is no choice, nothing else offered. He felt the emotions flowing between the two of the them and shivered lightly in his captor's hands, feeling suddenly as though, for all the activity around them, that he and Jim were the only two in this room, their lives and hearts and feelings hanging suspended in this gaze drawn between the two of them.
Loud moaning and strange thrashing, grunting noises broke the spell that had been woven between Sentinel and Guide, and Blair found himself watching in disbelief as the women around him began breaking off into pairs and small groups. He was shocked almost into speech when the women began pleasuring each other; bodies rubbing against bodies, fingers and mouths touching intimately against the hot flesh of each other. His eyes jerked back to look at Jim and he watched as his friend's body arched helplessly into the hand that was still stroking him, a hard cruel smile on the face of the bitch doing it.
As he watched, Jim's face contorted, his body trembling as the effects of the drug, and the visual, audio and tactile stimuli began driving him to a fever pitch. For the first time since this madness had begun, Blair allowed himself a real shadow of doubt, of fear, that Jim would be able to control this fever that was burning inside of him. His eyes darkened in fear at the thought of what would happen to him if Jim couldn't control it, and he shivered again, the sounds of sex around him repulsing him, adding to the growing fear.
Jim moaned and thrashed his head, the sounds and smells of sex and arousal all around him, burning into him. The feel of a hot hand stroking him, bringing him just to the brink, over and over again, but never letting him finish, never granting him the release he needed. His balls were so heavy, so hot; they ached so bad from the constant state of arousal he'd endured for days now. The only thought burning in his brain was that he had to come...had to have release, and it had to be soon, before he died from the strain.
Abruptly he was released, his cock pulsing madly, straining into emptiness that had been a hand. He opened his eyes to see Chardis grinning down at him, her own eyes dark with arousal and with a mad gleam that he shuddered to see.
"You'll do fine, Detective," her voice was a deep, husky purr, winding its way through him, teasing him further. "You're going to be taken back to your room now, and you're going to take your little partner and fuck him-make him scream, detective. I want him to scream...I want him to know the perversion you're doing to him."
The tone was seductive, the words made him sick to his stomach. "Why...perversion?" he managed to get out through clenched teeth, his whole body shaking as the restraints holding him were severed.
"Because it's surely unholy and perverted for two men to come together, spilling their seed where none can take root. Doesn't that seem like waste to you?" Her eyes glittered coldly, the cold fire of her madness burning deep within them.
Jim shook his head, not able to make the effort to wonder why it was all right for the women here to pleasure each other, but have it be wrong for men. His brain was barely forming coherent thoughts as it was...he needed to save his energy, his few present brain cells, for what was coming. The last of the bonds was severed and he was helped roughly to his feet, then grasped by the arm and led through the room, the women no longer paying attention, all bodies combined into one large, writhing mass on the floor. He was aware of Blair being roughly pulled to his feet, and pulled along behind him, but found he was having trouble concentrating on anything other than his body's needs.
They were led back to the small room they'd lived in for the last week, and shoved roughly inside, neither woman who'd escorted them sparing them a glance. Chardis and Serita, who had followed just behind came into the room for a moment, staring at the two of them. Chardis raked her eyes over each man briefly, then smiled again, her fingers stroking over Serita's breast as she spoke.
"Remember, Detective...he's supposed to scream."
The women turned and left the room and the only sound that filled the sudden, chilling silence, was the <snick> as the lock turned and engaged.
Chapter 11
...I am thy mate, I am thy man
Goat of thy flock, I am gold, I am god,
Flesh to thy bone, flower to thy rod.
With hoofs of steel I race on the rocks
Through solstice stubborn to equinox.
And I rave; and I rape and I rip and I rend
Everlasting, world without end,
Mannikin, maiden, maenad, man,
In the might of Pan.
Io Pan! Io Pan Pan! Pan! Io Pan!
-Aleister Crowley, Hymn to Pan
"They're watching us."
Those were the first words Blair spoke to him in the five minutes they'd been back in the room, staring at each other.
"How do you know?" If their captors were watching, or even anywhere nearby, Jim wasn't aware of it. All he could focus on was his partner, backed against the wall and staring at him, and his own pulse pounding through his body. They needed to do this soon. He needed release. He had to have it!
His partner shrugged. "I just know it. Especially after that last comment." Blair shuddered, his eyes dark with fear.
Jim's heart clenched tight again. "I'm not going to rape you," he whispered, his eyes catching and holding the smaller man's. "I swear to god, I'm not going to hurt you, Blair...I'll kill myself first. You believe me, don't you?"
There was a tinge of desperation in the older man's voice and Blair felt his stomach roll over. "I believe you," he said slowly, his voice low and hoarse. "I trust you, Jim. But help me out here, man...I'm running blind. What do...what do I need to do?"
Jim flinched, almost as if his words had hurt him. "I need to come," he breathed, his eyes hot when they met Blair's again. "I have to have release, Blair. My- I hurt so bad right now, from holding it back for so long."
Sandburg lowered his gaze to really look at Jim's cock. It was an angry purple color at the tip, and wet, gleaming with moisture from the pre-cum that had oozed out. The shaft was hard and thick and almost visibly throbbing with need. He swallowed hard. "Okay," he said, softly. "Let's...let's do it."
Ellison stared at the younger man, taking in the spasms of shivers that were racking the lean frame. "You're scared to death of this, aren't you? God, Blair, I wish I could help you...make you not scared. I wish I had the time and the patience to do this right. I know we-practiced-a little bit...but this isn't the way it should be for a first time...not when I'm barely hanging on to my sanity. I'm going to fuck this up, and you're gonna hate me..."
Hands on his shoulders surprised him, as did the heated blue eyes staring into his. "You're not going to fuck anything up, Jim, and I'm not going to hate you...Christ, I might as well try to hate myself!" Blair's voice hissed at him, sibilant in its warning. "It's not your fault that we're here! That we have to do this! Don't you get it? You're as much a fucking victim as I am, Jim!" Slender hands tightened on his arms, gripping the biceps there, holding on as much for support as anything else. "All I have to do is bend over, and let you fuck me, let you come inside me. Jim, man, you're the one they've tortured, with drugs and cock rings...you're the one that they...they c-cut-"
Blair's voice thickened, then choked altogether on the last word and Jim found himself dragging the smaller man into a rough embrace, his face buried in Blair's curls as his partner clung to him, dry heaving sobs shaking his body.
"Shhh..." he whispered, nuzzling at the curls, trying to soothe. "I'm okay, Chief...it's okay. We're gonna make it, I promise. Shhh..." The body clinging to him molded itself a little tighter to his, and Jim felt his erection throb anew as the soft dusting of hair across Blair's belly and thighs, and the thick, luxuriant bush at his groin rubbed sensuously against a body already hot and aroused.
"Kiss me," was the ragged request, from somewhere around his neck. "Make me forget...make me feel safe, Jim."
"My-I make you feel safe...when I kiss you?" Surely he'd heard that wrong-that couldn't be what Blair had meant to say.
"Yes," his partner breathed, tilting his head back, his eyes meeting Jim's, his gaze scared, but determined. "Please. Kiss me."
He didn't need another invitation. He lowered his mouth to the tempting one before him, groaning low in his throat when bolts of pure electricity shot through his body at the touch of those warm lips against his. God, this was so good...he groaned again, his hands rising to cup Blair's head, tilting it back a little while threading his fingers through rich, soft curls. His partner gave a little whimper and opened wider for him, a soft, wet tongue snaking out to tease his own into following.
The world around them melted away as they melded into each other's mouths, tasting, teasing, and exploring. Jim quivered in pleasure when Blair took an active role in exploring, sweeping his tongue through Jim's mouth, stroking it over the older man's slowly and sweetly. White-hot fever burned through him and his cock shuddered against the younger man's thigh, each wave of arousal pushing Jim higher, winding him tighter.
Blair groaned and trembled within Jim's arms as the heat from their kisses threatened to overpower him. They'd kissed before; just yesterday, actually, but these kisses made those seem like the chaste pecks of affection you would greet a friend or relative with. These...these were searing, mind numbing; earth shattering in their intensity. He actually whimpered again when the hot mouth feeding off of his left it and moved lower, nipping and sucking at his neck and the soft underside of his jaw, the hot tongue stroking him. This time his moans and whimpers were for the intense sensations being called up in him from the mouth on his neck, and he shuddered over and over again in the loose circle of Jim's embrace.
Jim licked, kissed and sucked, soothing each sting as he made it. He was startled, and pleased, when he felt his partner's hands leave his waist, where they'd rested lightly, and rise to grip at his biceps; one hand reaching to pull his mouth back to Blair's. He acquiesced, and returned to that pleasure-and it occurred to him that he'd never enjoyed kissing anyone as much as he enjoyed kissing Blair. A tiny part of his brain warned that he wouldn't be able to withstand this delicious torture for long; no matter how good it was, he needed completion. He gave over to the sensations whirling through his mind and body, multicolored pinwheels spiraling around madly...
"Jim? Jim...c'mon, big guy...don't zone out here..." his partner's voice, calling to him through the swirling vortex of color and sensation, leading him back from wherever he'd been. Jim opened his eyes to see Blair staring up at him, chest heaving from their activities.
"I'm sorry, Chief. You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" He stared anxiously into his partner's eyes, searching for the truth.
Blair marveled at the concern in Jim's voice. And something else was there...caring...but more even than that. He stared into Jim's eyes; the pupils dilated almost completely, the sky blue nearly obscured by the blackness. Hot eyes, filled with need, filled with desire, filled with... What? Blair wasn't willing to name that other emotion yet-he was still too uncertain of everything happening to them now. But he knew that if he could trust Jim with his life, he could trust him with this most precious and intimate of activities. He wound his arms up around Jim's neck, pressing his body closer to his friend's. "Do it, Jim. Make love to me," he breathed into the older man's ear, nuzzling the soft skin he found there.
Jim released a long-held breath, along with a deep groan of lust and desire. He'd been so afraid that Blair wouldn't be able to do this willingly, no matter his intentions. Another groan rose up from his throat as the younger man's tongue traced a path down his neck, pausing to nibble at his collarbone. He grew dizzy from the sensations of having Blair-a willing, participating Blair-in his arms. He ran his hands up Blair's arms until he was cupping the younger man's face once again. As soon as their lips touched, his fingers began weaving their way again into the long, curly hair. It felt like rough silk against his fingertips, and Jim gripped a handful to hold Blair's head steady while he plundered his mouth. He felt the desire rising to a fever pitch in his body and knew he wasn't going to be able to control it much longer. He tore his mouth away from the delicious heat with effort.
"Blair-we need to hurry on this, buddy. I can't hold back much longer."
His partner looked up at him, eyes dark and luminous with desire. Jim could feel the younger man's body pressed against his, cock beginning to swell and harden. He ran his hands down Blair's sides, and brought one between their bodies to stroke the burgeoning erection, while the other moved around to gently knead the soft skin of Blair's ass.
"Do what you have to, Jim. I'm ready."
"Are you sure, Chief?"
"As sure as I'm gonna be, man." Blair's voice held a hint of humor in it, and Jim felt relief course through him.
"You're okay with this?" Gentle hands began tentatively stroking his back and buttocks, and the fever burning in Jim's blood leapt up another notch.
"I'm okay with this. I want you..." Blair gasped as Jim's fingers encircled his cock and started stroking in earnest.
"I want you, too, " Jim responded, leaning to kiss Blair's neck. "Oh, god, do I want you..."
"Then do it, Jim," the younger man responded softly. He sucked his breath in as he felt Jim's finger begin to probe between his cheeks, running lightly up and down his cleft.
"Let's lay down. I want you to be as comfortable as we can manage." Hurry, hurry, hurry, his brain chanted relentlessly. He ignored that, as well as the part of his brain that was replaying the command from Chardis to make Blair scream. He's going to enjoy this, at least a little bit, if it kills me. Jim gently pushed his guide down onto the pallets behind them, and laid on top of him, pushing one of his knees between Blair's legs, parting them. His mouth closed over Blair's once again, and he began moving his body against the younger man's, rubbing their cocks together.
Blair groaned at the sensations flooding his body, and he realized with a start he was no longer scared or fearful. He trusted Jim, implicitly, and cared for and about him strongly. Memories of the past several days, of lying in Jim's arms being caressed and kissed and petted flooded his mind, increasing his desire for his friend. He raised his hips slightly to undulate against Jim in a counter-rhythm. A large warm hand stole down his chest, and Blair gasped against Jim's mouth when the older man started gently pinching his nipples. Jim moved away from him then, and Blair whimpered with the loss of sensation, until he felt warm lips gently nipping their way down his body. He groaned aloud at the first touch of lips and tongue against one of the now-hard buds, as Jim began sucking on his right nipple. The exquisite torture continued until Blair was writhing in pleasured agony beneath the larger man; his swollen, aching nipples now sensitive to even the lightest touch.
"Got to have you, babe," Jim muttered as he released Blair and turned him over onto his stomach. The sight of the younger man's ass elicited a groan. "I can't wait any longer-I don't want to hurt you by waiting too long and not being able to hold back."
"D-Don't wait..." Blair panted, his breath coming in short bursts. "Do it, Jim..."
Ellison sucked one finger into his mouth, then parted the tempting cheeks. The tender rose of muscle that protected Blair's passage quivered slightly as the cool air swirled past it. Jim rubbed his finger gently over the small pucker and frowned at the light, oily feeling beneath his fingertip.
"Blair-did someone else...touch you?" Jim carefully pressed his finger harder against the pucker and the muscle gave way slowly for him, the oily sensation more concentrated inside.
"Ohhh...Yvelle...she said it was to...to 'anoint' me...ahhhh...but I think... it was just to humiliate me."
The Blessed Protector inside him heard the tremulous quality to Blair's voice even through the passion that was beginning to thicken it, and Jim vowed that this was yet one more thing to hold these women responsible for. No one messed with his guide. No one.
He began a gentle thrusting motion, and felt Blair relax slightly around him. After a minute or so, he pulled his finger out and spat into his hand, then slicked up two fingers. Blair moaned softly, but stayed fairly relaxed as the muscle was breached again, and slowly stretched. As he began to enjoy the gentle thrusting motions, Blair started pushing backward against Jim's hand. The older man's cock grew even harder watching his partner and he groaned loudly.
"Ahhhhh....god!" Blair shook when Jim replaced the two fingers with three, and twisted them around inside him. "Jiiimm! Please...Oh!" Blair arched against the fingers as Jim scraped them over the younger man's prostate gland. He wiggled against Jim's hand, and the older man helped him up onto all fours, fucking his fingers slowly in and out of his partner's body; stretching and loosening him carefully. Blair wiggled again, pushing back against his hand, and Jim gritted his teeth at the sensuousness of the motions and pulled away from him.
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," the younger man panted. "Do it."
Jim spat again into his hand, and repeated the gesture once more; then began rubbing the saliva on his throbbing cock. Combined with the pre-cum that had been oozing for quite a while now, it would provide adequate, if not great, lubrication. He positioned Blair, then knelt behind him. "Here we go, Chief. Try to relax as much as you can..." Jim trailed off as the tip of his hard organ finally made contact with what it wanted so badly. He took a deep breath and began gently pushing into his partner's-friend's-body.
Blair tensed and groaned when he felt the swollen member pushing against him. He gritted his teeth and lowered himself onto his arms slightly, trying to improve the angle for Jim and make things a little easier for both of them. He knew he'd just taken three fingers; had taken them and wanted more, but...god, Jim was so big-it wasn't possible that he'd fit in there, was it? He panted, trying to relax, but the pain of his body stretching to accommodate Jim's wasn't allowing for much of that.
"Ahh..." Jim gasped as he grabbed Blair's hips and pushed a little harder. "Relax, Blair... C'mon...you've got to relax..." Jim felt the muscles give slightly, and the head of his cock slipped past the tight ring, finally gaining him entrance. He held still. "Okay, Chief?" he questioned in a hoarse voice as he tried to catch his breath. His blood felt like it was boiling in his veins, and it was taking all the self-control he'd never known he possessed to not shove himself in to the hilt.
"Hurts..." Blair panted, his body straining away from Jim's.
"I know..." Jim smoothed a hand down Blair's back, trying to soothe a little. "Hang on, Chief. Almost there." He drew another deep breath and started slowly pushing himself in again.
Blair
bit his lip. God, it hurt! He didn't think it would hurt this bad...he'd
expected some
discomfort; maybe a little pain... He took a deep, cleansing breath, trying to
find his center, his focus; tried to relax, but it felt like his entire lower
body was on fire now-like he'd been split open, in half. His erection was
gone-had disappeared with Jim's first thrust. There was no way he was going to
enjoy this, but it was better than the alternative. At least Jim was sparing
him rape... Not that he ever really thought that Jim would allow that to
happen. He realized with a start that the pushing had stopped, and Jim was
holding still behind him again, breathing rapid and harsh.
"Jim?"
"Yeah?" Jim's voice was a hoarse growl, and it echoed through him, the resonance vibrating inside, making him quiver a little bit.
"You all the way in?" God, he sounded shaky!
"Yeah. God, Chief..." You feel so good, he finished in his mind. Hot, tight, totally surrounding him. He'd never felt anything so good in his life. "You okay? Blair?"
"I think so...can you-give me a minute? I feel...like I've been stretched or split apart."
"Still hurt?"
"Not-exactly. Burns though. I feel like I'm on fire." Even as he spoke Blair was panting a little, trying to focus his breathing enough to let him relax. His body felt like it was a clenched fist, with a white-hot poker shoved inside him, burning him.
"I am on fire, buddy. My entire body is burning up. I need to move, Blair. Gotta move...but I don't want to hurt you-"
Blair's stomach flipped over at the concern, the caring he heard in Jim's voice. "Go ahead," he whispered. "I'll be okay."
Jim took a deep breath, grasped slim hips in his hands and pulled back. He thrust in, feeling the sensations shoot through all the nerve endings in his body, screaming into his brain. He thrust over and over into Blair's body, nearly mindless with his need; not hearing the gasps and whimpers that began turning into little pants and moans as Blair's body accepted, then responded to the sensations. His first indication that Blair was participating at all was when he realized that his friend was pushing back slightly to meet him. Jim smiled through the haze of lust that was clouding his brain, and he reached a hand around to help out. He frowned with he discovered that Blair wasn't erect, then his lust-fogged brain remembered that the pain of entry had probably negated that for now. He sent up a silent entreaty that the next time went easier, and better, for his friend; he couldn't bear the thought of causing any more pain than what he'd already done.
Coherent thought fled then as the feelings surged up in him and his blood fever reached the boiling point. He pulled out nearly all the way, and slammed into Blair with a ferocity that surprised them both., coming in long, hot spasms deep inside his friend. His friend, now his lover, however reluctantly.
He took Blair three more times before his body was satisfied. Each time was, if not wholly pleasant, at least not as painful for the younger man, with the semen inside him lubricating him better and his body more stretched now.
Blair didn't scream once.
He moaned, whimpered, groaned and gasped; lots of little noises that made Jim's heart beat faster to hear them, knowing that there was some pleasure forcing those sounds from him, and that he was the cause of that pleasure. He kissed Blair as often as he could manage, even more than might have been considered necessary for "setting the mood", but his partner didn't seem to mind, rather, he appeared to crave the contact as much as Jim did.
The final time-the fourth in less than three hours-probably hurt the least and the most all at the same time. Jim heard the groan when he withdrew from Blair; heard the tremble in his voice when he whispered Jim's name. He rested his body atop the smaller one for just a moment, his weight held firmly by his arms that were on either side of the slimmer frame. A wave of such tenderness, such longing, rose and moved through him that Jim buried his face in the damp, sweaty curls for a moment to hide the tears that had formed in his eyes. A breathless voice whispered his name again then and he shifted slightly, not wanting to end the contact yet.
"Let me hold you," he whispered, his own voice hoarse. "I'm sorry for hurting you," he continued, his face rubbing against sweaty skin. "You know I wouldn't hurt you intentionally...I didn't mean to..."
"Jim." The breathless quality was still there, the tremble not as pronounced. "You were fine, man. I think...I think it would have hurt the first time, regardless...it was okay. Honest."
In answer he kissed the shoulder beneath his face, his body still craving Sandburg's, if unable to consider actions just yet. That wasn't the drug though; that was him, wanting Blair...needing Blair...loving Blair. He opened his mouth to give his friend a verbal reply, when the door to their small room slammed open, Chardis and two other women striding in briskly.
"He was supposed to SCREAM!" she snapped at him as the other two rolled him off of Blair. He struggled, every cell in his body screaming at him to protect the younger man, to take care of him, at least in this. He ended up sprawled on the floor, no match for the two amazons that Chardis had brought with her.
"It wasn't necessary!" he shot back, his voice thick with the disgust he held for this woman. "Why can't you see that? It doesn't have to hurt!"
"It was necessary because I wanted to hear him-hear him scream and beg while you raped him! Why couldn't you be like all the rest of them? Do you have to fight me every step of the way?" Chardis loomed over him, rage oozing from every pore of her body. She turned away briefly and nodded at the women holding Blair still pinned to the bed. "Plug him. If he loses any of it, I'm holding you responsible."
Jim watched in horror from his position on the floor as one woman held him firmly while the other pushed Blair's legs up and back, his struggles totally ineffectual. When he was fairly immobilized, a small device that looked like a butt plug was shoved in, with no consideration for how tender, how raw he might be. Blair's pained moan was all Jim needed to hear; he pushed himself upright off the floor. Chardis stopped him with a warning touch of her hand.
"Don't, Detective. I'm not inclined at the moment to be merciful as it is. Interfere with this and you'll never see him alive again."
"You need him as much as me for this," Jim retorted, his eyes cold and hard as he looked at this living embodiment of beast.
Chardis smiled coldly at him, then turned the cold smile on Blair as well. "I don't think that the two of you quite understand here. You," pointing at Jim, "are the one I need. He is merely a receptacle; something to receive the sperm. Anyone can fill that need...which makes him inherently expendable. I suggest you remember that, detective...for future reference."
Blair had closed his eyes while Chardis talked. The plug up his ass burned; the skin around his opening, and the tender passage beyond it were sore from being over-stretched and used. He hadn't tried to deny Jim at all-he knew what the older man had been through in the last week, and knew that he needed to get as much of that out of his system as possible. Four times though had left him tender, achy and tired. All he wanted to do was lie down and rest; sleep into next year, if possible. Now he was having to hear about how expendable he was...how his life no longer even mattered, that anyone could do this. He shivered a little, and opened his eyes to look at Jim. The older man's were trained on him, and he tried to talk to those cold, light eyes that seemed to heat up just looking at him.
Don't. Don't give them a reason to take me away from you...let me at least be with you for the last few days we'll have. I care about you so much, Jim. Don't let me be expendable, please.
Then he was being pulled away, not so much escorted as dragged. The last thing he heard as the door closed behind him was Jim's roar of rage and pain.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Jim lay on his back on the bed, trying not to think about what was happening to Blair. He'd yelled and beaten on the door for a good ten minutes after they left, dragging his partner away. Where they took him, he had no idea. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know, for what the answer might be. He wanted to stay awake, be ready when they brought him back. You're assuming they're going to bring him back, his mind retorted with a gleeful chortle. No! He couldn't think like that. He had to assume Blair would be back...and would be all right. Otherwise, all of this, all that they'd endured up to know, would have been for nothing.
In spite of his concern, and his desire to stay awake, his eyes began to droop. It had been a long week, and an even longer day, today. His body was tired, and all the emotion, intense and unrelenting, had taken its toll on him. Jim pulled the thin blanket over his body and dropped into an uneasy sleep.
The sound of a key turning in a lock woke him, and he was fully awake and sitting up when Blair was shoved back into the room. His partner was shaking, body held stiffly as if he was in pain. His eyes were red, and Jim frowned as he saw dried tear tracks on Blair's face.
"Blair? What happened?"
"Nothing," his guide mumbled in a low voice.
Jim got off the bed and walked the few steps that took him to Blair's side, concern in the lines etched on his face. He held an arm out to his partner. "C'mon, Chief. What happened?"
"You
don't want to know. Believe me." Blair leaned tiredly onto the arm
that was now
supporting him. It felt good to lean on Jim's strength.
"Yes, I do." So I can add this to the list and even the score someday. "Please, Chief, tell me."
"No."
Blair wore the stubborn look that usually meant Jim was going to have to work
for
whatever he wanted to know.
"Blair...I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."
"I'm just tired, man. I need to lay down for a while."
"Okaay." Jim didn't intend to let it go; just leave off for a bit, then catch Blair off-guard. He moved behind him to guide the younger man over to their bed, and sucked his breath in, in shock, when he saw the welts on Blair's cheeks, along with some blood leaking from his anus. "Blair-what the hell happened? Did I do that to you?" Jim heard his voice rising in pitch and tone, but couldn't prevent it. Blair would've said something if I hurt him that ba