A Special Gift

Kathryn Janeway sat back in her chair, rubbing at her temples. She had a headache. A bad one. And it had started with the staff meeting this morning, just a few hours before...

"I think we've covered everything then. Commander?" Kathryn turned to Chakotay, her raised eyebrow asking if he had anything else to add to the meeting. He shook his head in the negative, and she opened her mouth to dismiss everyone. That was when Neelix signaled her.

"Captain, I have something to add."

"Go ahead, Mr. Neelix."

"I've been doing some additional reading on the customs and celebrations of humans, and have come across a lovely sounding holiday that I believe is almost upon us."

Janeway cocked an eyebrow at the little Talaxian. "And that would be...?"

"Christmas, of course," Neelix beamed at her.

"Of course," She echoed faintly. "How do you know--?"

"The date? I asked the computer to figure it for me."

"I see." She glanced around the table at her other officers: A Vulcan; a Native American; and a half-human/half-Klingon. There were also herself, Tom Paris and Harry Kim.

Tuvok stared back stoically at her; Chakotay was fighting a smile (and losing); Tom wasn't even trying to fight it. Harry and B'Elanna just looked a little wistful. "What did you want to do with this information?"

"Why, have a Christmas party! We could trim a tree; sing carols; exchange gifts--"

"Neelix, at least half this crew isn't from a cultural background that celebrates Christmas; many of the crew members are different species..."

Paris broke in then, grinning from ear to ear. "Any excuse to have a party is a good thing, Captain. We just make sure everyone has a good time; no one will mind the other stuff."

Neelix took this as definite support in his favor. "Captain, as Morale Officer, I feel a party would be good for the crew. We've all been working so hard lately, with hardly any relaxation."

Janeway frowned slightly. "I don't know that we can afford a party, Mr. Neelix. We haven't had a planet to restock from in quite a while, and even you aren't that familiar with this part of the quadrant. We shouldn't use up supplies like that, not knowing when we'll be able to restock again."

Chakotay looked at Janeway. "With all due respect, Captain, I think Neelix is right. A party--even a *small* one--would help the crew. And if Neelix thinks it should be a Christmas party, why not?"

Janeway looked at him in disbelief. "*You're* in favor of a Christmas party, Commander?"

He shrugged. "Why not? Christmas has come to mean different things to different people over the centuries. I don't necessarily attach any spiritual meaning to it--although I don't discount that either--but I do like trimming the tree." His brown eyes twinkled at her, making her wonder if he was pulling her leg. She looked around the table again, wondering if she was making a mistake. Everyone *looked* interested in the idea, except Tuvok, who just looked neutral, as always.

"Alright, Mr. Neelix. You and Commander Chakotay work out the details, and we'll see what we can do. Dismissed."

**********

So here she sat, several hours later, wondering what they were getting themselves into. According to Chakotay, who'd been by a little while ago to drop off some data padds, Neelix had been quizzing the crew--and everyone seemed okay with the idea.

"Computer, compare current stardate with Earth calendar and give me the current date."

"Working. Current date according to Earth calendar is December 23."

December 23rd. Her parents would have the house decorated by now, and her mother would have cookies baked and presents wrapped. Tomorrow night friends and family from all over would be coming to the house, in preparation for the big Christmas dinner that her mother prepared every year on Christmas day.

Kathryn closed her eyes, remembering the smells and sounds that filled her parents' home during the Christmas season. Like Chakotay, the day didn't have a lot of spiritual meaning for her; rather it represented warmth and love, friendship and well-being. She missed that, missed those things terribly. Out here, light-years from everything familiar, she suddenly ached to be home; watching her father light the Christmas tree, to smell the turkey her mother would be cooking. Kathryn Janeway sat at her desk, tears in her eyes, wishing for home.

**********

After a lot of planning, whispering and general chaos, Neelix and Chakotay got the Christmas party planned. Or rather, parties. After careful consideration they'd decided that one party wouldn't be able to meet the needs of what they wanted to do, so they planned one for the crew and one for the bridge officers and department heads. The crew's party would be first, and anyone could attend. The officer's party would be on Christmas eve, and only bridge and department officers would be able to attend; Neelix and Kes would be the exception, since Neelix would be overseeing the catering for both.

Chakotay debated asking Kathryn if he could escort her to the party; in the end he decided not to. She'd been rather distant since their return from New Earth--no, that wasn't the right word. Just...maintaining her space. Now, as he stood in the cabin that he and Tom had designed and programmed for the party, he wondered if she'd actually show or not. She'd been acting strange since the whole party thing came up. Clearly she was upset about something, but she refused to discuss it with him. He looked up and saw Tom watching him from across the room. The younger man gave a cocky grin when he saw he was being observed, then turned back to his conversation with B'Elanna and Harry. Tuvok had declined attendance at all claiming he didn't need the "morale booster" as Neelix called it, and stating no desire to experience the Earth custom "Christmas". Janeway hadn't pushed the issue; rather she'd seemed happy that he'd be available to do Bridge duty.

Chakotay had understood that to mean she'd be attending...but where was she? Just as he'd turned around to discreetly call her on his comm badge the door to the cabin opened, and Janeway blew in along with a cold wind and a lot of snow.

"Wow! I didn't know I needed to dress for a blizzard!" She exclaimed, knocking snow off of her shoes.

Tom walked up to her and handed her a steaming cup. "Cider," he said at her questioning glance. "Welcome to the party, Captain. We've been waiting for you, so we could go get the tree."

"*Get* the tree? You don't have one all ready?" Her eyes danced merrily at him."

"Nope. Been waiting just for you." He turned to the room and addressed them all. "All right everyone. Let's get winter gear on, and go get that tree! Neelix, you got the popcorn and stuff ready?"

"Everything's ready, Tom," Neelix said as he struggled into his parka. Around the room, everyone was putting on the heavy coats and boots that Tom had provided for them. When everyone was suitably dressed, they headed out the door and into the cold.

Chakotay dropped back and waited for Kathryn. "Having fun, Captain?" He grinned at her, dimples showing.

"As a matter of fact, Commander, I used to do this every year I was growing up." Her eyes sparkled at him. He thought how beautiful she was, eyes glowing and face rosy from the cold. It took all the control and reserve he had not to take her by the shoulders then and kiss her.

"Well, I've never done it. Maybe you can help me along." He looked at her for a long moment, willing her to understand what he was trying to tell her. She stared back for a minute, then smiled and held her hand out.

"Maybe I can. Come on."

**********

An hour later they were all back at the cabin, with a tree that had been deemed perfect to decorate. Everyone took turns putting the decorations on and the result was a beautiful tree. Neelix had consulted with Tom and Harry and come up with a traditional Christmas-type dinner: Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, along with a few not-so-traditional things that everyone liked. The dinner was set up buffet-style, and everyone was invited to eat as much as he or she desired. All the while there were carols playing in the background, and people were congregating in small groups to talk and joke. Janeway was amazed at how much fun this was turning out to be. She hadn't realized how much she missed this part of her life. She'd been amazed to hear the singing voices that Chakotay, Tom and Kes had; they'd led the rounds of carols while the tree was being decorated. Apparently Kes had been doing some studying of her own; Kathryn was surprised to hear the Delta Quadrant native singing "Adeste Fideles". *She* didn't even know all the words to the Latin version!

After dinner Tom dimmed the lights a bit and built up the fire; he then announced that there would be dancing for anyone who was interested. They moved the furniture against the walls where it would be out of the way, then people began pairing off. During one of the slower numbers Tom approached Janeway and asked her to dance.

"I'm not very good at the slower numbers, Tom," she told him.

"You don't have to be. All you have to do is hang on, and kind of move in time to the music. What? You can do an Irish jig, and not a slow dance?"

"All right, Mister," She advanced on him, smiling. "Lead on."

He led her out onto the dance floor and turned her around to face him, then put his arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him slightly, enjoying the contact. His body was hard and warm, and he smelled good. All too soon the song came to an end, and she let go reluctantly, smiling at him. As she walked over to where Harry was getting some punch, Tom looked up to see Chakotay glowering at him. Oh, like that, is it Commander? He smiled at Chakotay, and wiggled his eyebrows. Chakotay frowned, then moved off to find Kathryn.

She met his suggestion to dance even more flirtatiously than she had Tom's; she'd had several cups of rum-splashed egg nog by then, and they moved out on to the dance floor. Kathryn could feel Chakotay pressing against her, and she wiggled slightly against him, glad the room was almost dark. She rested her head against his chest--he was just a bit taller than Tom was--and circled his neck with her arms. As they relaxed into the music together, Kathryn could feel Chakotay nuzzling her hair slightly. Dimly she wondered about the appropriateness of that; there were quite a few people in this room, after all, but her alcohol-fogged brain couldn't quite remember why she should care.

Chakotay could feel himself growing hard against her, and wished desperately for the room to empty out, save for him and Kathryn. He wanted to make love to her so bad he ached...if only she'd let him. As the music ended and she moved out of his arms, he thanked the spirits for loose, baggy clothing and for dim lights. He watched her move away from him with smoldering eyes, and caught Tom's gaze once again. Tom, for his part, felt if he'd been a piece of tinder that he would've caught fire from Chakotay's look. He could almost feel the heat from across the room. He shrugged. It wasn't his problem; he had enough of his own.

**********

The party began breaking up around midnight. Most everyone had dispensed with the synthehol early on and had been drinking the bootleg that B'Elanna brought. Chakotay didn't drink, and was probably the only sober one left in the room. He noticed that Tom had disappeared--probably to sleep it off, he'd been pretty drunk earlier. Everyone was moving toward the door, the late hour and the alcohol had caught up with them. Chakotay caught Kathryn's eye and wandered over to her. They were the only ones left in the cabin. "Can I walk you back to your quarters, Captain?"

"No, I think I'll stay here for a little while. I've always liked watching the fire--it's very peaceful."

"Okay." He looked at her with concern. "Captain--Kathryn. Are you all right?"

She looked up at him. "I'm fine, Chakotay. Just a little down right now. It was a wonderful party. You, Neelix and Tom did a remarkable job. I just miss...home." She smiled slightly at him. "My parents always do a bang-up celebration at Christmas time. I'm missing that right now."

He didn't know what to say. Perhaps nothing would be best, so he simply nodded. "Goodnight, Kathryn. Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight, Chakotay. Merry Christmas to you, too."

He nodded again, then headed for door. Now was not the time to talk to her about what was uppermost on his mind, and in his heart.

**********

Kathryn moved closer to the fire, holding her hands out to warm them. The party had ended hours ago, but she was still wound up...and a little drunk. Since synthahol had been served, you could keep the buzz until you wanted to be sober--and she chose not to be sober yet. It had been very pleasant to celebrate Christmas, even out here, thousands of light years away from anything that represented her childhood memories of Christmas. She shivered a little, feeling chilled from more than just the cold of the holographic snow falling outside the cabin. While she'd enjoyed the party, it also made her very much aware--again--of just how alone she really was.

Pensively she gazed at the little Christmas tree standing in the corner of the cabin, its lights blinking at her. It was a reminder of the fun she'd had tonight decorating the tree; laughing as her officers told jokes and sang carols. And later, of the dances she'd shared with Chakotay (and one with Tom, her mind whispered); and the smoldering look in his eyes when he released her. She wanted someone to hold, and kiss, and make love to. She wanted someone she could talk to, while lying spooned up beside them. She wanted someone to love. A single tear slid down her cheek, and she dashed it away impatiently. Maybe she'd stay here for the night. She could be reached at any time by any member of the crew if there was an emergency. She sighed and headed toward the back of the cabin, where there was a bedroom, and a large, soft bed just waiting for her.

As she stripped off her sweater and pants Kathryn remembered that she didn't have any sleepwear here. She shrugged then, deciding to forgo that. She could sleep in her camisole and panties. In the dark of the room she navigated the shadows and moved toward the bed. Pushing back the comforter she crawled in and shivered once, then pulled the covers over her.

As she turned over her arm made contact with a warm, solid mass, and she froze. As though in response to her light touch the person already in the bed snorted then rolled over. Kathryn's mouth dropped open in shock to find Tom Paris in bed next to her. She made a tentative move backward, to get out of the bed, when he snorted again, then shifted and draped an arm over her. Slowly she willed herself to relax, figuring she could slide out from under his arm. She was just about to try when Tom mumbled something in his sleep and gathered her closer. Kathryn allowed herself to be pulled into his embrace, her body and soul craving this sensation. Ignoring the voices of sanity and reason that were screaming that she'd regret this in the morning, she moved her face slightly closer to his, and leaned over to kiss him.

He moaned slightly in his sleep as she ran her tongue lightly around his lips, tracing the outline of them. He tasted faintly of the whiskey he'd been drinking earlier, and she knew without asking that it was some of the bootleg stuff the engineering staff made. She licked his lips again, enjoying the smokey flavor, then moved her mouth directly onto his. Even in his sleep Tom Paris was not unskilled. He parted her lips with his tongue, then began exploring the contours of her mouth. As he deepened the kiss his hands came up and began caressing her shoulders and breasts through her camisole. Kathryn whimpered low in her throat, and Tom's eyes flew open.

"C..Captain! What--?" He pulled back from her at warp speed, and Kathryn giggled slightly at the look on his face.

"At ease, Lieutenant...Tom. Just a case of mistaken identity." Her voice broke slightly on the last word, revealing her loneliness.

Tom considered her for a moment, then reached out a hand to tip her chin up. "Not necessarily," He began, then stopped. What was he doing, propositioning the Captain?

"Tom?" Was he suggesting what she thought he was?

"Do you want it to be mistaken?" He held his breath, anxious yet afraid of what the answer would be, memories of a slow dance earlier that night racing through his head.

"...No." She almost sighed the word. "Every instinct in me is screaming not to do this, but..."

"You need this." His voice revealed his loneliness, too.

"I need this. I need *you*." Kathryn raised her face to his and repeated, "I need you, Tom. Please."

He sucked his breath in, feeling as though someone had kicked him in the stomach. "Yes...Kathryn?" He ended with a question, asking permission to address her familiarly. She nodded, and he murmurred, "Kathryn..." once more before tilting his head down to capture her mouth with his.

**********

Chakotay called himself ten kinds of fool as he walked around the corner to the holodeck. He'd checked a few minutes ago, and the Captain was still on the holodeck. After just a minute of debate he'd decided to go over there, pretending to have left something at the party. This was such an obvious thing that any lovesick teenager would be able to see through it. Then again, he reflected, that's what he was behaving like: a lovesick teenager. Usually he was able to keep his feelings under control, bottled up tightly. Tonight though, feeling her pressed against him, moving slowly with him and the music, he'd felt something give inside him. He had to try again. They'd come so close on New Earth...

Which was why he was wandering the ship at 0130am, dressed in loosely fastened clothing, on an imaginary errand to the holodeck.

The door to the holodeck opened obediently for him when he stepped in front of it. He walked in, then ordered a privacy lock; if nothing else he and Kathryn could talk in privacy. Chakotay moved quickly down the short snow-covered path. He'd forgotten that they'd programmed snow into it; it was very cold here. But if he remembered correctly, there was a fire burning in the cabin. Hopefully he'd be able to count on other ways to keep warm, too.

He entered the cabin, and shook the snow from his sandals. Everything looked pretty much the way it looked when he left a couple of hours ago, except darker and quieter. The fire had burned down quite a bit, and there were no sounds. Yet the computer had told him just a few minutes ago that Kathryn was in here. Surely he'd have passed her, if she were on her way back to her cabin? Just as he was about to turn and exit a small sound caught his attention. It was a low, breathy sound--almost like a moan. Against his better judgement he followed the sounds to the back of the cabin to a bedroom. He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, and looked in wonder and disbelief at the sight before him, bathed in moonlight.

Kathryn was on her back on the bed, totally naked, her head flung back in abandon, hands clutching at the fabric of the comforter. Straddled on her midsection was Tom Paris who was alternately kissing her breasts and neck. As Chakotay watched, Tom moved down slightly, allowing himself better access to Kathryn's breasts. He watched in fascination as Tom licked at her nipples, then blew on them; watched as the delicate peaks hardened and Kathryn writhed with the sensations. She reached down and stroked Tom's erection with one hand while caressing herself with the other. Chakotay felt himself growing hard watching them; he wasn't certain who he wanted more. Both were beautiful, there in the moonlight.

At last, feeling as though he might explode if he didn't do something, Chakotay began stripping off his clothing. Later he would wonder what came over him; he didn't remember consciously deciding to join them, it just seemed like he had to, or die with wanting.

After what seemed like an eternity to get his clothes off, he was at last naked. Silently he approached the bed. Tom had begun kissing Kathryn, mating their tongues together, showing her his intentions without words. They were both startled when Chakotay pulled Tom back, but before any words could be spoken he grabbed the younger man's head and bent his own to kiss him.

After a long moment of kissing Tom, Chakotay broke away and repeated the gesture with Kathryn. All three were breathing hard by the time he finished. He stepped back slightly, cocking an eyebrow at them. Tom and Kathryn gazed up at him--large bronzed body glowing in the moonlight; eyes dark and dilated with need; erection straining toward them. Tom reached out a finger and stroked it down the hard length of him, and Chakotay shuddered. As Tom wrapped his hand around him he looked up. "Want to come and play, Commander?" He asked impishly as his hand began moving up and down the erection.

"Oh, Gods," Chakotay groaned. "Yesss..." He hissed slightly as Tom stroked his shaft, then cupped his balls.

Deciding that he'd had enough of standing through the exquisite torture, Chakotay gently pushed Tom and Kathryn to the side a bit, and knelt down on the mattress. Tom began to stroke the erection in earnest, and Kathryn moved kiss Chakotay. They explored each other's mouths with their lips and tongues; she caressed both him and Tom with her hands, and he began gently pulling at her nipples with his fingertips. Kathryn moaned against his mouth and pressed closer to him.

Tom pushed himself back for a minute. "Wait, I have an idea." Kathryn and Chakotay looked at him, their eyes luminous in the shadowy light. "Let's go into the front room, in front of the fire."

Kathryn nodded, and Chakotay mumbled an affirmative reply and the three of them got off the bed and moved in to the front room.

While Tom poked up the fire and Chakotay gathered up the blankets from the bed, Kathryn issued a command to the computer, "Computer, engage privacy lock."

"Privacy lock already engaged."

Chakotay looked up from where he was spreading the blankets. "I did that when I came in here."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why would that be?"

He grinned. "You just never can tell what will happen at Christmas time, Kathryn." He gestured to her. "Come over here and get warm." Tom had built the fire into a roaring blaze and was kneeling next to it, watching Chakotay and Kathryn with an unreadable look in his eyes.

Kathryn moved onto the blankets between the two men. She reached out to both of them and drew them into her embrace. Hugging fiercely, she was surprised to feel both of them trembling--and was more surprised to feel herself trembling as well. Tom pulled back slightly and kissed her, a gentle kiss that left her trembling this time with anticipation. He moved away from her and leaned into Chakotay's embrace, repeating the kiss with him. Chakotay surprised them all by grasping Tom's shoulders and pulling him tighter to him. Kathryn felt herself becoming aroused all over again watching the two of them kissing.

After a moment she began spreading little nipping kisses over both their shoulders and necks, nibbling gently on whatever part she could reach. Chakotay broke off the embrace with Tom and turned to her. "We're not ignoring you, Kathryn. Come here." He pulled her into a fierce embrace, exploring her mouth with an intensity that left her breathless.

The two men pushed her back against the blankets, then sat back on their heels to look at her. Against the firelight her body glowed with a luminescence. She took the opportunity to look at them: Chakotay; smooth bronzed chest, strong looking arms, erection straining toward her. Tom; as tall as Chakotay but a more wiry build. Athletic looking. His chest was well- muscled, sprinkled with fine golden hair that glinted in the firelight. He too was fully erect. She sighed. Both men took that as a cue and moved toward her, each taking a breast in his mouth. She moaned as two mouths began licking and sucking at her nipples. They began caressing her body, alternating with licks and kisses, working their way up and down her body. She stroked both of them, enjoying the feel of their hardness in her hands.

They stopped periodically to kiss each other, and stroke the hardness of the other's body. Kathryn enjoyed these short interludes; watching two such beautiful men pleasuring each other was almost as arousing as them pleasuring her. She was brought back to the present sharply when she felt a questing finger moving toward her molten center. Briefly she wondered at what point would she simply burst into flame...As the finger penetrated her, another finger began gently rubbing the swollen knot of flesh that was hidden within her folds. She gasped with the sensations, knowing that each finger belonged to a different man. Which was which? She was beyond caring. They began moving in careful synchronicity, then began alternating rhythms.

Kathryn opened her eyes long enough to see them also caressing each other's shafts, and that was enough to drive her over the edge into climax. She gasped and shuddered for what seemed like forever before coming down from that peak. When she'd returned to herself she wasn't really surprised to see Chakotay on his knees, taking Tom's erection into his mouth. Tom gasped with surprise as the moist heat of Chakotay's mouth engulfed him, then he grasped his head and began pumping into him. Kathryn quickly scrambled over to Chakotay and lay next to him, taking him into her mouth. He gave a strangled moan and sucked Tom even further into his mouth. Tom moaned, then gave a strangled cry as he felt his own peak beginning.

"No...no, too soon..." He pulled back abruptly, not wanting to finish right then. He moved over Kathryn and nudged her legs apart, moving between them. She gasped as he entered her in one strong motion, then settled into a quick rhythm. Chakotay began stroking himself, watching Tom make love to her. Kathryn watched Chakotay, her eyes dilated from passion. He knelt next to her, still stroking himself, and kissed her, then kissed Tom. Kathryn began crying out, mewling little cries accompanied with breathy gasps.

"Tom...oh, yes...now..oh *GOD*!" She came hard, her body feeling like it had melted. The strength of her contracting around him brought Tom to his peak, and he came into her with a shout.

They lay together for a moment, then Tom moved off Kathryn and knelt in front of Chakotay, a questioning look on his face. Chakotay nodded once, and Tom called for a replicator, requesting a tube of lubrication. He got on his hands and knees next to Kathryn, and kissed her, caressing her gently. He could feel Chakotay moving behind him, felt his fingers beginning a gentle exploration. With a start Tom felt the first finger penetrate him, and jerked in surprise.

"That hurt?" Chakotay asked with concern.

"No...don't stop," Tom replied hoarsely. "Just...don't stop." He could feel himself getting hard again, as Chakotay entered him with another finger, and began to gently stretch him open. Then Chakotay was pushing into him, stretching him, filling him. Hoarsely he cried out, "Oh, Gods, Chakotay...!", and felt the big man begin to move. Kathryn kissed him, and moved back a bit, wanting to see the expressions on both their faces. Tom's was rapturous. His eyes were closed, his head flung back, exposing the vulnerable line of his throat.

Chakotay's eyes were also closed, and he almost looked like he was in pain. Tom whimpered voicelessly, and Chakotay moved one hand around to wrap it around Tom's erection. Kathryn moved back over to them and also began to stroke Tom. Chakotay stopped suddenly, then pulled back and plunged in forcefully, yelling out loud as he came. Tom came right after him, the force of Chakotay's climax triggering his. The three of them collapsed together into a tangle of arms and legs in front of the fire, and went to sleep.

**********

The increasingly chilly temperature in the cabin as the fire died down woke Kathryn up a couple of hours later. She shivered and sat up to stoke up the fire again. Tom and Chakotay were still asleep, Tom's head resting on Chakotay's chest. She sat there for several minutes, replaying the events of the evening in her mind. What had happened here tonight? Besides throwing all her principles out the window. Comfort given, comfort received. Obviously she wasn't the only one who was lonely. Was it such a bad thing, giving and taking comfort from her officers? The Tom and Chakotay who'd pleasured her and each other were vastly different from the cocky pilot and calm, confident First Officer that she worked with on the bridge. Could they keep this relationship separate from their working relationship? Did she want a relationship? Did they? She shook her head. All these questions could wait until later to be answered. She didn't need to answer them right now.

She moved back to the warmth of the two men, and snuggled down between them, pulling a blanket over all three of them. As she was getting settled two different hands reached for her, twining themselves with her hands, and two different voices said together, "Merry Christmas, Kathryn."

End.

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