The Same, But Different
by KimAnne
© July 2005

There’s a groan and then Lance realizes he’s heard himself. He shifts angrily under the sheet. A bang-bang-bang sound echoes through the house and Lance jerks. He ignores it, figures it’s just part of his dream. Hopes it’s part of his dream. Blissful minutes tick by and he allows himself to relax back into the mattress when the bang-bang-bang sound is heard again followed by an annoying doorbell.

He cracks his eyes and peers at the clock, which reads 3:42am. Lance groans and rolls as he scrubs his eyes and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He stretches slightly and scratches his stomach. He’s not in a hurry. He crookedly walks towards the door and grunts as he walks into the wall.

Lance mumbles to himself through the hallway and down the stairs. As he reaches the foyer, the simultaneous sound of obnoxious knocking and shrilling doorbell reaches his ears – again. He flips the light switch and the noise stops. Blessed silence. He takes a quick look through the peephole and sees Justin. Bouncing. At ass-o’clock in the morning.

Lance figures that it’s a joke. That someone is kidding.

He unlocks the door and swings it open. “Did someone die?” asks Lance.

“No. Can I come in?” Justin leans forward on the balls of his feet with a grin on his face.

Lance rubs a hand through his hair and then itches. He feels as though his eyes are barely open and all he can manage is a shrug in answer and steps back.

“I know it’s late. I obviously woke you.” Justin says as he puts his jacket and a bag on the nearest chair.

Lance notices there isn’t much luggage... as in, none at all. He forces himself to stop staring at the coat as he hears Justin still talking.

“You want something?” Justin asks over his shoulder as he heads toward the kitchen. “Tea? Milk?” The light snaps on in Lance’s kitchen.

Lance shakes himself out of his stupor and enters his kitchen, his, and leans against the island and crosses his arms. “Justin, this is my kitchen, if I want something I can get it. But by all means – help yourself.” Lance adds condescendingly.

His tone of voice must register through Justin’s unending noise because Justin slowly puts down the can of soda he pilfered from his fridge.

“I know I barged in,” Justin starts and Lance can only snort in response. “But I can’t go home,” he finishes.

Lance’s eyebrows rise. “Why.” Simple and to the point, just the way Lance likes his conversations in the middle of the night.

Justin sighs and grabs one of the stools that surround the island. Lance does the same because this means it’s not a quick answer, and Lance mentally kisses the rest of his sleeping hours goodbye.

“Cameron and I broke up. The tabloids have been sniffing around for weeks and the paparazzi are camped at my house. I don’t want to deal with them and I really don’t want to say no comment if there are reporters.”

“You’re hiding.”

“Yeah.” Justin sips at the soda.

Lance leans his elbows on the marble island top and looks at Justin. He looks tired, hasn’t shaved – although that’s nothing new – but not broken. “I’m sorry about you and Cameron.”

Justin shrugs. “Sucks. Any break up does, especially with everyone watching.”

“What happened?” Lance asks out of friendly concern and morbid curiosity. He’s not sure how Justin does it, has year-long romances while Lance can’t even hold onto someone for six months.

“Nothing specific. We talked about things, made some decisions and just... broke up.”

“This isn’t going to be another public fight is it?”

“Nah, Cam and I are good. We’re going to try and be friends, but not right away. It’s good though.” Justin tilts his head back and finishes off the soda.

“So you talked each other into breaking up. Seems like a pattern for you.” Lance winces and wishes he could take it back. This is what happens when he’s awoken in the middle of the night and made to deal with a best friend he hasn’t seen in months.

Justin places the can on the hard stone and the sound echoes through the room. He looks at Lance, eyes like lasers in the bright kitchen. “I’m sorry I woke you, I know how off balance it makes you. I can crash here though, right?”

Lance smiles and ducks his head. Sometimes it still surprises him just how much Justin has grown up and how much he himself hasn’t completely let go of the past. “Of course. Where’s the rest of your stuff though.”

“I don’t have any. I got off the plane and started home and just didn’t. I knew there would be people around, and you know how they are when they think there’s blood in the water.”

Lance nods understanding fully when reporters, tabloids or paparazzi have their story, they’re relentless. “Can we go to bed now?” Lance knows he sounds pitiful but he’s tired. So very tired in every aspect possible.

Justin chuckles. “Yes, we can talk more tomorrow.” He stands, rinses out the soda can and leaves it in the sink, then walks out of the kitchen. Lance clicks the light off as he follows.

He can feel the sunlight on his face and Lance tries to roll away from it but it’s everywhere. He sighs and throws an arm over his eyes as he accepts the fact that he should get up. He then remembers he has a houseguest and he groans.

Lance squints at the clock and it’s very late in the morning. He listens and the house is quiet so he assumes that Justin is still sleeping. He gets out of bed and goes through his morning routine, not even trying to be quiet, which gives Lance a perverse pleasure in a passive aggressive way.

By the time Lance gets to the kitchen it’s just after noon and there’s still no movement from Justin. He actually stands in his kitchen and contemplates whether or not to leave a note. A note in his own house. He berates himself for even thinking it. He grabs his keys and wallet from the bowl making sure to lock the door on the way out. Lance has some errands that he wants to get out of the way before the rest of the week arrives, which will no doubt bring chaos.

He’s gone most of the afternoon and on the drive home Lance starts to wonder if Justin will still be there. Part of him hopes he is, if only for the company. Lance pulls into his driveway and notices his garage door is open. As he is pulling bags from the car Justin emerges from the open garage wearing a tank top, which looks very familiar, a pair of powder blue shorts and a baseball hat. Lance watches as he shoots the basketball.

Lance blinks. He doesn’t have a basketball hoop. “Justin?” Lance calls and his houseguest stops and he catches the ball, tucking it under his arm.

“Yeah?”

Lance gestures with his full hand toward the makeshift basketball court. “What’s with the hoop? Where did you find the ball, and what else of mine are you wearing?”

“Whoa. Man, go eat something, you’re pissy.”

Lance actually growls and steps toward Justin. He has no idea what he’s going to do, but he’s past screwing around. There’s an obnoxious basketball hoop in his driveway and Lance isn’t used to sharing his home with someone. Even if that someone is Justin who he has already shared so much with. It’s still his house and his stuff and he likes it a certain way. And now Justin’s wearing his clothes and wanting to stay and Lance isn’t sure how to feel about that. He loves that Justin came to him, loves that Justin might be staying a while, but Lance isn’t sure if he should love it so much. Justin will unwind, collect himself and then head back to his little world again leaving Lance here.

Justin just laughs and takes a step back. “I was bored, you weren’t here and I was itching to do something. You don’t have a real basketball net – and why is that? So I sorta made one.” Justin smiles toward the light post with the plastic bucket tied to it. Lance notices that Justin somehow cut the bottom out of the bucket. He doesn’t want to know how either.

“There’s a reason I didn’t have one put in.”

“‘Cause you’re boring trying to be all Mr. Hollywood?”

Lance counts to ten, that’s what his momma always taught him, and hopes that the vicious feeling lessens. “I’m putting these inside. Are you planning to go home... today, tomorrow?” Lance asks as he enters the garage and heads for the connecting door.

“Are you going to kick me out?” Justin asks and trails behind him. Lance feels one of the bags being tugged from his hand and lets it go.

“No, I’m not kicking you out.” Lance throws a disgusted look over his shoulder. “What kind of friend is that?”

Justin shrugs. “You just had a tone to your voice, that’s all.”

“You can decipher my tone of voice now?” Lance dumps the bags on the kitchen table. He’ll put everything away later.

“Yeah.”

“Ah.” Lance can’t think of anything to say that won’t sound pissy, Justin obviously thinks he still knows Lance and he probably does, but Lance isn’t willing to admit that. “Beer? Water?” Lance asks, his head in the fridge.

“Water. Thanks.”

Justin takes the bottle, unscrews the cap and drinks half the bottle in one breath. Lance doesn’t think Justin breaths just... swallows. Lance takes a gulp from his own bottle and pointedly ignores the way Justin’s throat moves as the water goes down.

“Any plans for tonight?” Justin asks.

“Uh, yeah, I’m meeting some friends for dinner. Want to come?”

“Na, if you don’t mind, I’ll just hang here. Still off from the traveling and everything. A little time to myself and away from people staring sounds like what I need. I can amuse myself.”

“Just don’t go redecorating anything else.”

“Yes, sir!” Justin barks and salutes. Lance laughs and shakes his head as he picks up the bags and takes them upstairs.

A couple days later Lance enters his kitchen to find breakfast made. It’s not even the weekend but there are pancakes and fresh fruit. Justin is sitting on a stool, leaning on his elbows reading the paper and says nothing when Lance enters.

“What’s with the food?” Lance asks and quickly adds, “It looks great, thanks” when he realizes that he doesn’t sound grateful. And the food does look good. Lance stacks a few pancakes onto a plate and dumps the fruit on top.

“I felt like it. A way to say thank you for not making a big deal about me being here or even why I’m here.”

Lance shrugs as he takes a couple of swallows of just-the-right-temperature coffee. “Well I appreciate it, everything looks good and things are still warm. I think you have another talent J.”

“Thanks.” Justin’s still looking at the paper but Lance isn’t convinced he’s reading.

Lance folds a piece of pancake around some fruit and stuffs it into his mouth. After he swallows he ask, “Want to talk about it now?”

“I guess. It’s just, I didn’t want to have to do this again.”

“Breaking up?”

“Breaking up, hiding, contemplating what I’m going to do with my life.”

Lance quirks an eye and Justin smiles. “Ok, maybe not what I’m going to be doing with my life, but just something.”

“I know you said that you and Cameron talked things over and decided to break up, but what things? Things that couldn’t be fixed?” Lance asks and prepares another bite of pancake.

“We just started to argue a lot. We’d be great for a while and then suddenly having an argument over what restaurant to go to, or who was flying to meet the other.

We started to break up once a month. I had enough of that with Britney and if I learned anything from that, it was to heed the warning signs.”

“You sure you’re ok with this?”

“Yeah. We just weren’t meshing anymore. I’m sure there was a chance we could have worked it out, but I just started to feel as though there were too many negative things to even try anymore. Another thing I learned from before.”

“So, this isn’t a bad breakup then?”

Justin pauses in lifting his glass filled with orange juice. “No. Not like the hate-fest with Britney but not as simple as it was with you -- not that you were easy...”

Lance grins. “I get what you’re saying. I’m glad. A person should only have a colossally bad breakup once in their lifetime.”

“Agreed,” Justin says as he places the empty glass down.

The sun is shining, the air is clean and all Lance can think about is going inside. He loves his dogs but he just isn’t in the mood to deal with them, even if they are just running around his backyard. He squints toward the sun and then looks at the house. Justin is inside, amusing himself Lance assumes but the point is - - Justin is inside. Still. After almost a week.

Lance takes a look at his watch and decides he’s been outside long enough. He closes the magazine that can’t hold his interest and stands up. He glances toward the dogs but they’re playing so he leaves them alone and retreats to the house.

Lance enters the kitchen; his bare feet tingle as they touch the cool floor, and heads for the refrigerator before revering off to look for Justin first. He is shocked by what he finds.

Justin is cleaning.

“What the hell are you doing?” Lance asks grinning.

Justin looks up surprised as though he didn’t hear Lance enter the house. Justin looks from Lance to what looks like a rag in his hand and to Lance again. “Dusting,” Justin offers although he doesn’t sound certain.

“Are you sure?”

Justin huffs and throws the rag, which now Lance can see is one of his older t-shirts, towards him. He picks it up by two fingers only.

“You’re dusting with my shirt?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t find any rags suitable for dusting.”

Lance blinks. “Suitable for dusting? Who are you? Kyan from Queer Eye? Fuck Justin. I have a cleaning service.”

“I was bored and restless. And Kyan? I thought he did the beauty aspect.”

Lance throws the ruined t-shirt at Justin. “I don’t remember, just that he’s the hot one.”

Justin smiles and cocks his hip. “So you think I’m hot?”

Lance laughs and shakes his head. Finding Justin dusting is something than Lance can’t wrap his mind around. It really puts Justin’s sometime obsessive behavior to a whole new level.

“And why weren’t one of your shirts acceptable? You know, for dusting.” Lance finally asks to make the weird flirty silence stop.

“I didn’t have any to spare.”

Lance nods and walks from the room. He can hear Justin follow.

“Maybe you need to go shopping or to your place for clothes... if you’re planning on staying for a while longer.” Lance thinks it’s a perfect way to ask Justin about the length of his stay, unfortunately Justin doesn’t take the bait.

“I’m planning a stealth mission tonight.” He says and sounds very excited about it.

“Stealth? Why can’t you go now?”

“The picture people will no doubt still be there and I’m trying to avoid them. Remember?”

“Yes.” Lance says exasperated. “But it’s been days, I’m sure there’s a chance they got bored and left.”

“Possible, but I’m still waiting until tonight.”

Lance looks out the back window to make sure the dogs are happy. They’re lying under a tree in the shade and he figures they’re good for a while and heads to his office. He realizes Justin is not following and he makes a slight detour to see if Justin continued cleaning. Lance creeps along the hall and peers around the wall and there’s Justin. Shaking his ass and dusting.

Lance shakes his head, goes to his office and shuts the door. Houseguests -- sometimes hell in the way that Lance isn’t sure how to take Justin not showing any signs of leaving.

The magazine pages crinkle as he turns them. Lance is barely reading it as he keeps glancing at the clock waiting for Justin to return. Lance needs to make sure Justin doesn’t arrested trespassing on his own property. Just as Lance can’t take the slowly ticking minutes he hears the front door open and then slam shut.

“J?” Lance calls out.

The footsteps sound as they’re jogging down the hallway toward Lance. Justin enters the room, a wide smile on his face and a slight crazed look in his eyes.

“Mission accomplished!!” Justin yells and drops the two bags on the floor. They land with a thud and Lance wonders exactly how long Justin plans on staying.

“Everything went well?” Lance says and puts the magazine down.

“Yes. I saved my clothes from isolation and avoided the paparazzi as I carried out my stealth mission.” Justin seems to puff his chest out.

“Well yes, avoiding them is definitely better than punching them.” Lance smirks and imagines licking his finger and drawing a ‘one’ in the air. Justin, zero; Lance, one.

Justin stares at him and his smile slowly fades away. “You just killed my mood. And it was Cameron that punched them. I was an innocent bystander.”

Lance frowns. “Your ex-girlfriend is manlier than you are.”

“She’s more aggressive, not manlier. And yeah, notice how I ended things before she started throwing shit at me? Her aim’s a hell of a lot better than Brit’s.”

Lance laughs and stands as Justin bends over and picks up the bags again. He follows Justin out of the room and through the house to where Justin’s been sleeping. “Seriously though. No one tried to call the cops or anything?”

“You were really worried about that, weren’t you?”

“Yeah. It just seemed like a stupid thing to get caught for, even if you were doing it to save yourself the annoyance of bright flashes and stupid questions in your face.”

Justin grins over his shoulder. “Thanks for caring.”

Lance slaps Justin’s ass as it climbs the stairs.

As they enter the bedroom Lance asks, “And really, how long are you staying?”

“Don’t know.” Justin replies as he puts the bags on the bed and turns around. “You have a time limit?”

Lance shakes his head. “No, not at all.” Waving toward the bags he continues. “That just seems like a lot of stuff.”

Justin shrugs. “I’m having a good time here relaxing with you, so I’m not in a hurry.”

“Ok. Well, I’m assuming you worked up an appetite, want something?”

“You have that ice cream from the other night?”

Lance nods. “Unless you finished it.”

Lance is pushed aside as Justin flees the room and heads toward the kitchen. He shakes his head and wonders what he got himself into.

Lance hears the ring to his cell phone and goes into the bedroom to retrieve it. A quick look at the number shows that it’s Joey.

“Hey.”

“He still there?” Joey asks in lieu of a greeting.

“Why, Joey. It’s so nice to talk to you today,” he says as he goes back into the bathroom.

Lance can hear a loud sigh through the phone. “Hello Lance. How are things?” Joey sounds bored.

“Fine. I’m heading out for a meeting in a few minutes so I don’t have a lot of time. I’m hoping to convince the producer that he wants me, us, to do the film.”

“Yeah?” Joey sounds interested now. “You’ve been smoozing this guy for a while. Think today’s the day?”

Lance shrugs. “Don’t know. Maybe. We’re having lunch to talk about how he envisions the promotion of the film. Honestly, this guy is pissing me off. Each of these meetings only covers one aspect of his film. I understand slow and steady but at this rate I’ll be dead before we agree on a contract.”

“Sometimes things suck.”

Lance can hear the smile in Joey’s voice. “Yeah. Sucks. So, to answer your earlier question, yes he’s still here.”

“Has he left the house? It’s been weeks!”

“Joey, I don’t have him tagged. And it’s only been a week.”

“You should.”

“Should what? Have him tagged?”

“Yeah.” Joey says as though it’s a normal thing to do.

“He’s just trying to gather himself.” Lance squirts gel onto his hand, rubs them together then runs them through his hair, making sure it’s carefully spiky.

“For weeks?! Lance, he needs to get out.”

Lance smiles at Joey’s exaggeration. “I’m sure he leaves the house and I know better to push the diva.”

“Don’t let him hear you.” Joey warns in a hushed tone and Lance rolls his eyes.

“He’s probably still in bed. And I’m not afraid of Timberlake.” Lance pushes the hair products back together in the corner of the counter.

“Ever think he’s still there because he’s trying to start something with you?”

This makes Lance stop and stare. “No. Joey, we did at one time, but not anymore. He hasn’t been around, he doesn’t. He just. No. We aren’t talking about it.”

“Why not? You always change the subject when I try and discuss Justin with you.”

“Yes, because that part of my life is over so I don’t feel like talking about it. You are not a Yenta, so please stop trying.” Lance hits the wall light switch with more force than necessary and walks into his bedroom. He sits down in a chair and picks up his shoes.

“Lance I just want you to be prepared.”

“Fine, I’m prepared.” He rolls his eyes and then takes a breath before continuing. “How’s Bri?” Lance smiles as Joey just rambles about the love of his life and concentrates on putting his shoes on one handed. When Joey finally stops, Lance has been brought up to date in the world of fatherhood by Joey Fatone. It’s a good thing they talk several times a week or their phone conversations would be hours long.

Lance pushes the End button and takes a last quick look at himself in the mirror before heading downstairs. He’s surprised when he finds Justin sitting at the island reading a newspaper. For some reason it pushes Lance’s buttons; probably left over from the queasy feeling caused by Joey when he mentioned Justin wanting to be with him.

“Don’t you have any other friends that you like more, or like you more?” He continues to the coffee pot and fills his travel mug halfway.

“Trace is all lovey dovey being engaged and everyone else is in Florida.”

Huh. “So I was a last choice?” That hurts Lance a little, which is something that he doesn’t want to analyze.

“‘Course not.” Justin seems preoccupied with the paper so Lance approaches slowly and looks over his shoulder. Lance is surprised to find the Arts and Entertainment spread out and not the Sports. Lance skims and tries to find what has Justin scowling.

He finds it. A picture of Cameron with another man, but it’s the caption of “Is Timberlake Being Cheated On Again?” that Lance thinks Justin is uptight about.

“You going out today?” Lance asks, hoping that the answer is yes and that maybe it means Justin would leave soon.

“Not with this in the paper today. I don’t want to deal with the fall out.” The pages of the newspaper crinkle as Justin turns the page.

“When are you and Cameron going to make the official announcement? Or at least leak something to someone. You seemed to have put your life on hold.” Lance palms his pants pockets to make sure he has his keys and then takes a sip of the coffee.

“We did. It was last week but it seems the wrong outlet was chosen and now I, or we, have to deal with this sort of shit.” Justin looks up from the paper. “You coming home tonight? I mean, for dinner, will you be here for dinner?”

Lance stares at Justin, frozen in mid-swallow of the hot coffee. He quickly forces the liquid down. “Um, yeah, I’m going to lunch for a meeting but I’ll be back later. Why?” Lance is suspicious, he’s not sure why, it could have to do with Justin’s left hand. The thumb is rubbing over and over across the forefinger. That normally meant Justin was nervous. But there’s nothing for Justin to be nervous about and really, Lance might be seeing things thanks to Yenta-Joey.

Justin smiles briefly. “I was thinking I could make us dinner. Just hang out and relax. I’m staying here but we haven’t been spending much time together and I thought it would be... nice.”

“Sure. I’ll help you make it when I get back.”

“Great!” Lance can’t help but notice how blue and alive Justin’s eyes look. Lance quickly looks away, locates his sunglasses and says goodbye over his shoulder as he leaves the kitchen. Damn Joey and his asinine ideas, Lance was never going to be able to concentrate on the lunch meeting.

Lance returns home to find Justin preparing their meal in the kitchen. The house speakers are pumping Tim McGraw as Justin bumps his hips to the beat and bobs his head to the lyrics. All the while wearing a really ugly apron that has hideous flowers all over it. Lance only has it because it was given to him as a joke and he likes to make his mom wear it when she comes over. He thinks it’s funny. But not as entertaining as Justin. Lance wishes he had a camera because the other guys would never believe it. Lance holds in the laugh until Justin lets out a really high note accompanied by a hip shake to the right.

Justin whirls around when he hears Lance but Lance can’t stop laughing, even when Justin glares at him.

“What? I’m enjoying myself.” Justin says and then puts his hands on his hips which just makes Lance laugh harder. Justin rolls his eyes and walks over to the wall and turns the music down.

“Can I take your picture? JC will never believe me and he really needs to see this.” Lance says through his giggles but notices that Justin goes still and all humor from the situation is gone.

Lance approaches Justin. “You have talked to him, right?”

“Sure.” Justin walks around Lance and goes back to what he was doing before Lance interrupted him.

“That doesn’t sound convincing.”

“It doesn’t have to be. You’re not my mom. You’re not Chris either so I don’t need to hear how you think I should be acting.”

Lance looks at Justin in confusion. “I just asked a question. You’re both my friends and I want everyone to get along.”

“At least you’re more diplomatic than Chris. And speaking of that, he called here today -- on the house phone looking for me. Why is that?”

“Don’t know.”

Justin turns and looks at Lance, his face is very serious. “Who knows I’m here?”

Lance almost wants to take a step back but he isn’t giving Justin the satisfaction, even if that wasn’t Justin’s goal, Lance still isn’t giving in. “Joey. I talk to him a lot and I mentioned you were here. I just talked to him this morning. I didn’t know it was a secret.” Lance says snidely.

“Yes you did.” Justin throws the spoon he’s holding into the sink and it clangs loudly through the kitchen. Lance watches as he stalks to the refrigerator and grabs a beer. “I told you I didn’t want anyone to know I was here.”

“I thought that meant reporters, some of your staff, not your friends. And god, take off the fucking apron because I can’t take you seriously in it.”

Justin angrily slams the bottle on the counter top and yanks at the apron ties. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

Lance huffs and walks toward the island so he can lean on it as he speaks. “Obviously, but that’s not the way you explained it to me. If you wanted me to lie to our friends, I need to know why. Now I assume you were hiding from Chris too, so why don’t you tell me why.”

“It’s not important now.” Justin says and takes several swallows of beer.

“Are you ever going to grow up?”

“Apparently not, according to Chris.”

Lance stares and then crosses his arms and stares some more. He can be more patient than Justin because eventually Justin will get frustrated and have to fill the silence.

With a sigh Justin starts. “Look, Chris is on me to get out and move on. He wants me to make peace with JC, but there isn’t any war going on there. So we don’t talk on a weekly basis, so what? That doesn’t mean I love him less or that I won’t be there for him. I do and I will. I just... I don’t want to talk to him so much.”

“Does it have something to do with why you haven’t written any songs while you’ve been here?”

Justin gives him a sharp look. “I told y’all that I’m on a little music break, I’m concentrating on the acting thing.”

“I know, but I always wondered why, if there was a reason beyond the superficial one you gave.”

“Lance, not everything is a big fucking to-do. I just wanted a break and I’m taking one, maybe make another movie and then go back to music.”

Lance nods. In all the months after Justin’s tour ended, in the few phone calls they shared, Lance never heard Justin talk about the possibility of more music, so the mention is a good thing. Lance takes breath and decides to change the subject. He slaps his hands on the counter. “So. What did you have planned for dinner?” he asks.

Justin looks so relieved that Lance almost feels sorry that he pressed the issue to begin with. Almost. In the end Lance believes it’s something that had to be done. And if Justin took some time to actually talk to Chris instead of dodging calls or giving half coherent answers, Chris wouldn’t be thinking big-horrible-thoughts-of-doom in regards to Justin’s music career and his half a lifetime friendship with JC. Lance knows that JC is fine with Justin, just as Lance knows they’re all fine with each other.

Dinner is some chicken concoction that Justin got from his mom. It tastes fantastic. In addition there are steamed vegetables, a fact that Lance wonders how Justin found the steamer as Lance hadn’t used it in months, and fresh bread. Lance could tell that Justin went to a lot of trouble for dinner. The nice plates from his cabinet are used, they have wine and even eat in the dining room where there are candles lit. Lance is both freaked out and flattered by the attention to detail.

Following Justin’s lead, Lance picks up his plate, glass and silverware and heads toward the kitchen. Justin is loading the used stuff into the dishwasher and Lance can’t help but notice how well Justin’s jeans fit him. They cling to his ass, which considering there isn’t much of one, is saying something about the jeans. His long sleeved shirt is so tight Lance wonders if it constricts Justin’s breathing.

Lance shakes his head, marvels as the room spins slightly, and piles his load on the counter so Justin can arrange it in the dishwasher the way he wants. Lance starts on the few pans in the sink. He’s so captivated by the sparkling suds that he almost misses the way Justin presses against him to reach for the dirty bowl on the other side of him. Lance ignores it; they are trying to work in a congested area, so it’s understandable.

He also blames Joey for the wild ideas floating around in his head.

Lance draws his eyes away from the shiny bubbles and starts to wash a pot when he feels Justin’s arms around his waist and his entire body molded against his back. Lance freezes and stares straight ahead.

Maybe he shouldn’t be so tough on Joey.

“Justin? What’re you doing?” Lance asks as steadily as possible, but his heart is pounding and all the wine he drank at dinner isn’t helping the situation.

“What does it seem like?” Justin asks and Lances feels Justin’s dry lips against his neck.

Lance laughs. He shakes his hands free of soap and turns around within Justin’s arms to look at him. Lance’s hands rest on Justin’s upper arms, darkening the shirt where the water is seeping into the material. “It looks like you’re trying to seduce me.” Lance says with confused tolerance.

Justin grins and it’s a really great look on him.

“Then that’s what I’m doing.” Justin says.

“Justin.” Lance says and then pushes against Justin’s chest so he can step away from the counter. “This. Is this what the staying with me has been all about?”

Justin’s head sags a little before looking up and pinning Lance with a heated look. “I missed you, that’s why I’m still here. And I like you, this isn’t something new.”

The island is between them now and Lance feels more in control without the press of Justin’s very hard body against him. “I am not rebound boy. You can’t be bothered to be a big part of my life, my friend, for the last year, and now you want what? A quick fuck? Something to take your mind off of losing Cameron? What?”

“I thought it was fun, nice, to be with each other again.”

“I’ve had enough fly by night fucks. I don’t need my best friend offering.”

Lance clenches his fist and paces back and forth across the kitchen floor twice before looking at Justin again. He is slouched against the counter with both hands stuffed into his pockets. Justin looks like he did when they were over in Germany getting lectures every other day. Lance sighs. He’s still pissed off because even with Joey’s words of wisdom Lance really didn’t see this coming. Part of him has been so lonely that the idea of taking up house with Justin is attractive and he can’t believe he’s refusing. On the other hand, the sane – in control – part of him knows that this won’t last. Justin will eventually go out into the world and meet someone that could be his forever.

Lance shakes his head to stop his thoughts from rambling. “Let’s pretend this didn’t happen. The dinner was great, very good, and we had a good time. Let’s leave it there. Tomorrow is a new day and we’ll look back on this and laugh.”

“If that’s what you want.” Justin says and sounds resigned.

“I think it’s what I need, not necessarily want.” Lance honestly admits. The wine has loosened his lips.

Justin growls and Lance blinks and takes a step backward into the cabinet.

“Why can’t you just... You’re not rebound boy to me.”

Lance smiles sadly. “You say that now.”

“Really, you’re not.”

Justin sounds so sincere that Lance finds himself wanting to believe him. “Ok. Fine. But we aren’t having sex tonight.”

“Ok, sure, yeah.” Justin’s head nods and he starts finishing up the cleanup. Lance isn’t sure what he just agreed to but he can’t stop the smile that stretches his face as he walks from the kitchen to happily sit in a soft living room chair and float through the remaining part of his buzz.

There’s a ringing sound that Lance tries to ignore. His head aches, his mouth is dry and he’s still trying to sleep. The sound stops so Lance burrows deeper into the bed. A few minutes later the cell rings again. Lance gets up and crosses to the dresser since the person isn’t going away, so he’s guessing Joey, or possibly Chris who would love to know he’s waking up Lance with a mini hangover.

Lance stumbles to the dresser where the cell phone is now ringing and vibrating across the top. He glances and groans. He wishes it’s Chris.

“Joey.” Lance croaks.

“Lance.” Joey says sounding chipper and not hung over at all. “How are you feeling?” He sounds smug so Lance assumes he already knows.

“Fine, just a little headache, although you woke me so is this important or can we talk later?”

“What did you do to Justin?”

“Um,” Lance says confused, he even glances at the bed to make sure he didn’t sleep with Justin. “Nothing?”

“Well, it seems that the boy has turned over a new leaf. He called me this morning and we talked for a good while, even set up a lunch date when he gets back to Florida.”

“Good, that’s good.” Lance goes back to bed and sits down, running a hand through his hair. He’s still confused.

“Also, he’s called Chris. They talked. Chris isn’t getting a search party together anymore. Seems that Justin got up very early there and is catching up with everyone. What happened last night?”

“Nothing. We had dinner, he tried to seduce me, I told him no, we went to bed. Separately.” He emphasized in case Joey got any ideas.

“Hmmm. Well, Justin promised me he wasn’t dying, which is what this seems like, doesn’t it? So I guess he’s decided to stop being an ass.”

“Again, good.”

“Are you sure you didn’t sleep with him?”

“Yes, Joey, I’m sure, I’d remember sleeping with him. I told him I wasn’t going to be his rebound, he convinced me I wouldn’t be, I said ok fine, but we still weren’t sleeping together tonight. Last night. Whatever.” Lance finishes tiredly.

“Tonight?” Joey starts to laugh and Lance holds the phone away from his ear to lessen the offensive sound.

“Yeah? I don’t see the humor Joe.”

“Well, if I’m not mistaken, because you clarified the no sex thing with tonight that Justin is thinking it will happen one day. So it looks like he’s trying to show you that he’s serious and trying to reconnect with all of us. As though he feels that’s a prerequisite or something.”

Lance blinks. “What? No. No, that’s not what I meant.”

Joey’s still chuckling. “Regardless. I think Justin is showing you how worthy he is, which is funny, but mostly I’m just grateful that he’s taking it upon himself to ease his way back into our lives. So we have you to thank for that.”

“But now he’ll think I’ll want to be with him.”

“Don’t you?”

“Besides the point.”

“Not really. This is one of those things where the timing is right. Justin’s breakup with Cameron, our hiatus, him seeing that we’re first and foremost friends, then a group, and him realizing he still wants you.”

Lance huffs. “He has not been pining for me all these years.”

“Believe what you will.” Joey says and sounds very lofty.

“I don’t buy the innocent tone at all. And you didn’t mention JC, has he talked to C?”

“Mmmm, don’t know. JC might be in LA and it’s still morning so maybe that call will be later today.”

“Why, yes it is still morning in LA.” Lance says.

“I know. I just said that.” Joey states and Lance can hear the smile. He hates Joey.

“There is some good here.” Lance admits and falls backward onto the bed.

“Of course there is. Everything about this is good as long as you don’t fuck it up.”

“Ohhh confidence.”

“Look, sleep some more, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’m up now.” Lance grumbles but smiles into the phone.

“Sure you are.” Joey says and Lance hears the phone click softly. Lance closes his eyes and thinks about what Joey told him. Now if Lance could believe Justin about the rebound thing, maybe something will work out.

Lance really did plan on getting up, but the soft bed and the throbbing in his head lulled him back to sleep. Damn Joey for knowing he’d go back to bed in the first place.

Lance stumbles into the kitchen. He somehow dragged his ass from bed, showered, pulled on whatever clothes were there and made his way to the kitchen. He still remembers Joey’s phone call. Fucking Joey. In Lance’s mind Joey took entirely too much glee in the fact that Lance was hung over. Bastard.

As Lance focuses he sees a tall glass of water and a bottle of Advil sitting on the island. Next to it was a note:

I thought you could use these this morning. Hope the hangover isn’t too bad.

J

-oh, and I told Joey that he shouldn’t call you, but he never listens

Lance crumbles the paper in one hand while the other reaches for the pain relief. He can’t believe his life has come to this. Dealing with headaches, matchmaking best friends and an ex that has made himself at home in his home. House. Whatever.

He sighs and shakes three Advil into his hand and then drinks the whole glass of water. The banging of the door makes him jump and he closes his eyes against the dull throbbing in his head. Lance doesn’t understand why his head hurts so badly, he didn’t drink bottles and bottles of wine. Just some.

“Hey, you’re finally up.” Justin says, entirely too cheery and loud for Lance’s tastes.

“Yeah.” Lance walks over to a stool and sits down. He passes the sink and is surprised to see two bottles of wine, empty, lying on the counter.

“We drank both bottles. Well. I think you consumed more than me since I’m mobile and you’re not. And we both know you can actually hold your liquor now.”

“This coming from the guy who threw up for hours after three shots and a beer.”

“I wasn’t legal yet. It doesn’t count. Chris even agreed with me.”

Lance ran his hands over his face. “Chris agreed with you because he’s the one that gave you the alcohol. He felt bad.”

“He agreed with me because I’m right. It’s a rule in the rule book.”

“The Underage Drinking Hand Guide?” Lance says and jerks when he feels hands on his neck.

“Damn Lance. You heard me coming closer.” Justin says and Lance can now admit that, yes, Justin is behind him but Lance wasn’t paying that close attention before. Justin’s hands are warm as they start to rub and pull at his neck and shoulders. Lance’s head drops forward and he lets out a sigh.

“You’re tense.” Justin observes and Lance doesn’t think that requires an answer so he sits there and enjoys the massage. Justin’s fingers press hard and Lance can’t help the moan that escapes. The fingers push and then slide outward and it sends chills down Lance’s spine. More pushing and pulling and Justin’s hands make their way down Lance’s back. Lance can feel knuckles as they dig into the base of his back and he leans forward even more, bracing himself with his arms on the island. Lance breathes deeply and revels in the touch.

Justin’s fingers go up along Lance’s spine and then Justin’s whole hand is pressed against his back and dragged downward. Lance’s skin prickles as his shirt flutters across his skin. Justin’s fingers lightly touch Lance’s skin at the top of his waist and Lance’s eyes pop open. He shudders slightly as the fingers dance across back.

Lance takes a deep breath and sits up straight. “Thanks Justin, that felt great.”

He feels Justin pet his shirt to put it back in place. “No problem.” Justin says. Lance sneaks a look and Justin’s grinning. And why not? In less than then minutes he had Lance moaning and gasping just by touching his back. Such restraint on Lance’s part.

“I’m making leftovers later, want some?”

Lance’s grumbling stomach answers for him.

Smiling Justin says, “Cool. You should just kick back today.”

Lance nods. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that.” Then he watches Justin leave the kitchen and Lance wonders how he got himself to the point where he is always thinking about Justin, wanting Justin, talking to Justin. Justin, Justin, Justin, all the time. Lance really believed he was over Justin in the romantic sense, but this just shows that he isn’t. Not by a long shot.

It’s just another night like any other. But Lance can’t sleep and he doesn’t understand why. His day was full with two meetings, lunch with friends, dinner with Justin and playing with the dogs. He should be sleeping like a baby, but he can’t relax enough to make it happen.

Lance decides he needs a drink; he’s not sure what yet, but something. He enters the kitchen, flicks the light and squints into the room. Still not knowing what he wants to drink, he goes to the cabinet where his favorite mug is.

Or should be. Lance pushes the mugs he finds around figuring it got pushed to the back since Justin has taken to emptying the dishwasher. The ceramic clicks together as Lance searches and when his hand hits the back of the cabinet he knows the mug is not there.

Lance also knows he’s irrationally pissed off but he can’t stop himself from stomping up the stairs and waking Justin to demand his mug.

He flings open the door with so much force it bounces off the wall.

Justin only moans and shifts but doesn’t wake, which is amazing to Lance. There’s being desensitized to noises when on the road so you can sleep, but the door bounced off the wall.

Lance stalks to the bed and shoves Justin’s shoulder. In the minimal light Lance can see Justin open his eyes.

“What,” Justin asks, still half asleep.

“What did you do to my kitchen?”

“What?”

“The kitchen! Everything is moved. Not where I left it.”

Justin turns on his side so he’s looking up at Lance. “I organized it a few days ago.”

Lances stares, waiting.

“A few of the drawers and cabinets were a mess.”

“Drawers? You touched my drawers?” Lance sounds surprised but maybe he shouldn’t be. This is Justin milling around and being bored. He watches Justin’s eyes drop to his crotch. Lance sighs and rolls his eyes. “Not those drawers.”

Justin’s head is buried in a pillow but Lance can still hear the laugh. Lance thinks he could start to hate Justin.

“Dude, what’re you looking for?” Justin asks, smiling widely.

“A mug. I use it when I can’t sleep or am working long hours.”

Justin stares and Lance shifts, uncomfortable. “What?”

“Just weird is all.” Justin gets out of bed and leaves the room. Lance follows.

“This coming from the baby blue man himself.”

Justin stops, turns and seems about to say something but Lance raises his eyebrows and looks pointedly at Justin’s baby blue colored pants. Justin looks down. “Whatever” is heard as Justin starts towards the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen Justin stops and looks at Lance. “You have to tell me what it looks like for me to find this precious mug.”

“Um. It’s old, I used it all the time on the bus. The one...”

Justin smiles. “The Goofy one? The one I bought you that first trip to Disneyworld to make fun of the PooFoo thing?”

“Yes,” Lance says around almost gritted teeth.

Justin walks right to a cabinet – not the original cabinet where it still should be – opens the door and inside are all fun, silly, sentimental mugs or glasses Lance has collected over the years. Lance can appreciate the organization, but if Justin hadn’t moved it then Lance wouldn’t have had to have this very embarrassing conversation.

Justin hands Lance the mug. “Anything else? Maybe you need me to tuck you in?”

Lance shoves at Justin. “Fucker. Don’t be movin’ my stuff.”

“You didn’t mind when I helped you organize the DVD’s.”

“Well, no, I was there. I had a say. This. This was a shock. Things have their place and...”

“...And that is wherever you put them. I know.” Justin says fondly and pats Lance’s shoulder. “Good night. Hope you get some sleep.”

Lance watches Justin’s blue covered ass and low riding pants leave the kitchen. He looks at the mug and decides he doesn’t need it and returns to bed where he has little trouble getting to sleep.

Lance stands at his bedroom window. The sky is bright blue with no clouds. He’s still wet from his shower and the towel is wrapped around his waist. He hears barking and focuses his eyes downward. He smiles as he sees Justin and the dogs. They are walking in the street and Lance loses sight of them as they pass in front of tall bushes.

Minutes pass and they don’t emerge at the other side. Curious Lance opens the window. He shivers as air brushes his damp skin and listens. He can hear a lot of barking and finally a shout from Justin quiets the dogs.

As they come into view Lance starts to laugh. He wishes he had binoculars to do the spying properly, but he doesn’t. Justin is struggling with the two leashes as the dogs run in multiple directions at the same time. Lance can tell that the leashes are twisted. He can’t make out what Justin is saying but he can see that Justin’s trying to talk to the dogs. From Lance’s view it looks like the dogs are listening.

Lance knows better. Foster and Dingo are very well trained but when they want to have fun nothing can ever stop them.

Lance watches as Justin and the dogs are successful in moving another ten feet, but the leashes are so twisted that it’s one big strap. Justin pulls and gets them to stop. Then the dogs sit. Justin’s pets them both, ruffling their ears. Probably telling them what good dogs they are. Lance can see Justin reach for Dingo’s collar and Lance opens his mouth to shout “no” but it’s already too late.

As soon as Justin unhooks the clip Dingo takes off across the lawn.

“Foster!!” Justin yells. Lance laughs as the remaining dog barks and wags its tale. He’s Foster.

“Dingo!” Justin yells again after realizing his mistake. Lance rests his elbow on the window sill and puts his chin on his fist. Justin looks torn on what to do. Foster is pulling and pulling at Justin because he wants to run with his brother and Dingo is just running in circles on the grass. Finally Justin seems to give up and unhooks Foster’s collar.

The two dogs play with each other as Justin stands watch with his arms crossed. Even with the sunglasses and hat Lance can still see the scowl on Justin’s face. The playing only lasts ten minutes and then the dogs lie on the ground, tails wagging, looking at Justin. Justin doesn’t move for over a minute, and then he starts slowly toward the dogs. As soon as he’s within arms reach both dogs jump to their feet and run toward the house.

Lance laughs so loud that Justin looks up and notices him. Lance is then graced with the middle finger.

“You better get after them! Don’t let them be hit by cars or roll around in shit on your watch!” Lance yells from the window.

“They roll in shit?” Justin starts to jog after the dogs.

“No, but I’m sure they could given half a chance.” Lance says to the empty room. He closes the window and with a smile on his face goes into his closet to pick out something to wear.

Lance can’t concentrate on work, doesn’t really have the interest to surf the web and a book is not going to hold his attention. He hears some noises outside and he’s decides to check it out. It’s not like he’s accomplishing anything by staring at the blinking cursor.

He stops off at the kitchen to freshen his cup of coffee and he finally recognizes the sound of running water. Reflexively he glances toward the sink but it’s dry. Lance continues through the kitchen into the garage and out to the driveway where he finds Justin washing his car. Shirtless and wet. And jeans that are dangerously low.

Lance swallows some of the hot coffee. “J?”

“Hey. Finally up.” Justin says quickly over his shoulder then turns back to the car.

“I’ve been in the office. You’re washing your car.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

Justin shrugs. “Felt like it. Beautiful day and all that.”

“Ah.” Lance says. He watches and sips his coffee long enough for Justin to finish one side of the car.

Justin stands after finishing a wheel. “Not going out today?”

“No,” Lance says and before he can ask how Justin knew, Justin says, “No spikes.” And waves towards, what Lance assumes, is his head.

Justin starts on the other side of the car. He dunks his hand into a sudsy bucket and withdraws a very large yellow rag. He begins to make circles on car and Lance is mesmerized by the muscles in Justin’s back.

“Any plans for today,” Justin asks loudly as he continues to scrub the car. Lance doesn’t want him to stop.

“Not really. Research maybe. Not feeling like work today.”

Justin nods. “Wanna have a movie marathon?”

Lance finishes his coffee. “Yeah. I’ll grill some steaks.”

“I’ll make sure we have enough beer.” He says as he drops the rag into the bucket, which splashes against Justin’s skin and jeans a little. He squirts off the soap and steps back to admire.

“Looks good,” Lance offers, which means both the car and Justin in his mind.

“Yeah. Just need to dry and finish.”

“Movies to start about 3:00?”

“What time is it now?”

“Just after twelve.”

“Three’s good.”

Lance watches Justin a little longer, wondering if Justin knows he’s being ogled, and then heads back inside. He takes some steaks from the freezer to thaw and continues back to his office where he will pretend to work until it’s time for the movies.

The first time Justin huffs, Lance ignores it. After the fifth time in less than five minutes, which accompanies furious page turning, Lance just concentrates harder on the script he’s reading. The plot is good, intricate, which is a surprise as most of the stuff Lance usually reads is simple. The characters are well put together and Lance is so into it that he can block out Justin fidgeting and mumbling. Mostly.

Half hour later Lance is really into the script and he’s reading faster and faster because while it’s good, it’s not normally the kind of movie, or caliber, script that he’s used to reading. Lance stops and flips the script over to look more closely at the cover when Justin stands abruptly and starts right into a rant.

“I can’t believe this! This script is crap, and while I’m not above reading almost any script it would be nice if there was a fucking part for me.” Justin throws the script he was reading across the room. It lands on the floor and slides until it hits the wall.

Lance bites his lip trying to hide the smile that’s threatening. “Not good?”

“No, it sucks.” Justin flops back down in the chair and bends over to pick up another script that already looks as though it’s been read. “So does this one. And the one I read two days ago. They’re not good. And I don’t want to assume I’m better than this, but I’ve already wrapped two movies. Fairly high profile ones, and these...” Which is accompanied by both of Justin’s arms sweeping wide open. “are just not like that.”

The laughter just bubbles out of him, he really wanted to get Justin going, but Lance can’t keep up the act. When Lance looks up Justin is standing in front of him with his arms crossed with a quizzical look. Lance wipes a hand down his face. “Um, I think. That is. I think you’re reading my scripts, Genius, and I’ve got yours.”

The relief that washes over Justin’s face is just as priceless as the tantrum he just threw which makes Lance laugh again. It’s because of his laughter that he doesn’t see Justin lunge toward him and lean on the arms of his chair and invading his space. Lance’s laughter subsides as he watches Justin slowly close the distance. And then their lips touch.

Lance’s heart starts to race. He closes his eyes and tilts his head slightly so his lips slide across Justin’s. Justin presses forward and Lance feels the tip of Justin’s tongue against his lips. Lance opens his mouth a little more with each lick of Justin’s tongue and when their tongues finally run along each other’s he hears Justin groan. The kiss only lasts a handful of seconds, but as soon as Justin pulls away Lance starts thinking about why they shouldn’t be doing it.

As Lance opens his mouth to make an argument against anything. Justin interrupts him. “You’re not rebound boy.”

“No?” Lance asks full of attitude and watches Justin shake his head. “Then how do you explain staying here for so long and not being seen with me in public?”

Lance pushes Justin away so he can stand up and put some space between them. He knows he’s being dramatic, but the constant not-knowing and now knowing which is accompanied by kissing. He just knows that he isn’t going to do the Justin-breakup again. Even if it was easy.

“You want me to take you out on a date or something?”

“There’s just a lack of trust here Justin. And don’t take this the wrong way, but for a while I – we – would reach out and basically get our hands slapped. That can only happen so many times before you start to expect the slap.”

Justin nods. “I see. Ok. Let’s go out. This Friday night, we can go wherever you want. Just let me know and I’ll arrange it.”

Lance can barely manage to nod before Justin calmly leaves the room with a little grin. It’s not the reaction Lance thought he’d get. He’s not even sure if he likes this reaction but he smiles anyway.

Lance looks at the phone in his hands, contemplates dialing – again – then quickly presses Joey’s speed-dial button. He knows he’ll regret this minutes into the phone call but Lance needs to talk to someone. Plus he’ll get revenge for when Joey called him when he was hung over. Joey knows how much Lance hates that.

Lance smiles as a gravely voice answers, “Yeah?”

“Now Joey, is that how you teach Bri to answer the phone?” Lance bites his lip from cackling.

“Fuck. You.”

“Joey. Joeyjoeyjoey.” Lance hears sheets rustle through the phone. “How’s it hanging Joe?”

“Limp. What the hell are you calling me for? Do you know what time it is?”

Joey outraged and offended. Lance thinks it goes well with his coffee. “I know exactly what time it is, very late for me and very early morning for you. The next time you think it will be great fun to call me, knowing I’m hung over, maybe you’ll remember this and hesitate before hitting the speed-dial.”

“You’re being demoted on the speed-dial.” Joey sniffs haughtily. “You are no longer number 3, I think you’re somewhere in the double digits now.”

Lance laughs.

“You need something?” Joey asks.

“I think I made a date with Justin.”

“You think?”

“Well. He made the date, but that’s not really the point.”

“What is the point? Forget how to conduct yourself?”

“No, but it’s Justin.” Lance says as though that explains everything.

“So?”

“It’s different.”

“Lance,” Joey says sounding annoyed. “You’re making this difficult. Do you want to date Justin or not?”

“Date Justin?”

“Yes. You had to have seen this coming. He’s been living with you for weeks now. He made a pass at you. Now there’s going to be dinner. It’s all been a natural progression.”

“How’d you know there would be dinner? I didn’t mention it.”

“Uh, dates are normally dinners.”

“You’ve been talking to Justin behind my back.”

Joey sighs. “Don’t over react.”

“Joey. I don’t know if I can date Justin. There’s so much that’s already happened.” Lance says and starts to run a hand through his hair but he’s trying to break that habit so he lets it fall to the bed.

“I think you’re letting your fears cloud your judgment, grasshopper.”

Lance snorts. “How is that, oh wise one?”

“You and Justin have similar wants. You both want someone to be there, you both want forever. You’ve both been hurt. The difference is Justin is putting himself out there.”

“It’s easier for him, he did the hurting.” Lance takes a quick breath and continues before Joey can start. “I’m admitting that our breakup was harder for me than I let on. I’m not perfect, there are some things I’ve done to other people that I’m not happy about. But I...”

“I think you need to relax a little. He promises you aren’t rebound boy.”

“Christ Joey, how often have you been talking to him?” Stands up and starts to pace the bedroom floor slowly.

“Don’t be pissed off. Just a few times.”

“It’s bad enough that this seems to have been his plan from day one, but he’s dragged you into this drama.”

“It’s only a drama because you’re making it be one. Stop over-thinking it and just go out with him, make out, see where it goes.”

Lance pivots and heads toward the window. He leans against the wall looking at the clear blue sky. It’s probably barely light in Joey’s morning horizon.

The murmur of the restaurant fills Lance’s ears. He watches as Justin readjusts the napkin on his lap for the third time in under five minutes.

“You always this fidgety?” Lance asks.

Justin’s eyes squint a little. “No. And I wouldn’t call it fidgety. You’ve shared a bus with Chris when he drank too much caffeine. That’s fidgety. This?” Justin shrugs. “This is nerves I guess.”

Lance blinks. “What?” He’s surprised to hear Justin admit something like that. Lance wonders what Justin has to be nervous about. Lance was the one tricked into the date.

“You know how it is. First dates...”

Lance smiles, he can’t help it. “Justin. We’ve known each other for years, most of them spent living on buses. It’s not like you don’t know me, know what I like, how I am. The whole mystery and thrill of discovery is gone.”

“It’s still a first date.”

“Technically that’s not true.” Lance raises his eyebrows daring Justin to contradict him. They screwed around with each other for so long that Lance is sure there was a date in there somewhere. And even if there wasn’t, they at least had pseudo-dates.

“That was years ago.” Justin says as he moves a fork a millimeter to the right.

“It still counts. Or something.” Lance says and takes a swallow of his drink. “And why are we arguing about this anyway? We’re here now, that’s what should matter.”

Justin smiles, one that relaxes his face and Lance’s heart skips. Lance grins back and curses himself for his reaction.

“Good.” Justin says. “So, what’s the deal with that producer guy? He still giving you the run around?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure he knows what he wants. Which is a problem. We meet and talk and I think we’ve settled something, but the next meeting we’re going over the item I thought was settled.”

Lance notices their waiter heading in their direction. He picks up his menu to scan the dishes one more time. “I’m frustrated and to the point I may just drop the whole thing and look for something else.”

Justin doesn’t comment as the waiter arrives and takes their order. It seems that once the waiter is out of earshot, Justin speaks.

“You have to do what’s right for you. If you think he’s giving you the run around, even if it’s just because he’s indecisive then you should probably drop it.”

“Yeah. That’s probably what I’ll have to do.” Lance takes another drink from his beer. “What’s Chris been up to? I haven’t been able to get him lately.”

Much to Lance’s surprise they spend the time waiting for their meal talking about the other guys. Chris, now that he’s called off search parties and interventions, has been working on his album. It seems as though Chris has been working on his album forever, but Justin seems to think that Chris may be serious this time.

Lance shares that JC is buried in the studio writing, producing, recording and whatever else he can do on his second album. Lance admits that he hasn’t actually talked to JC recently, that instead they trade text messages back and forth. When Lance first started receiving long text messages, it pissed him off. Now he just accepts that for JC it’s easier to text then to talk, plus he knows JC likes to play with his toys. So Lance doesn’t complain since he’s still kept in the loop.

Joey’s been talking to both him and Justin so there isn’t much to share on that front. Lance isn’t upset anymore of Joey’s infidelity with Justin, he should’ve known better that he wasn’t going to keep Joey to himself forever. He loves being Joey’s first and only call sometimes, but now that the five of them are gravitating toward each other again, Lance will have to get used to sharing. If he gets his other best friends back then the sharing is worth it.

The food arrives and they dig in. It embarrasses Lance a little to watch Justin inhale his meal and to know that he’s doing the same thing. Lance didn’t realize he was that hungry, but he finishes everything on his plate in rapid succession.

Lance finishes off his beer and looks up. Justin is watching him with his eyebrows raised. Lance laughs. “What?!”

Justin shakes his head and wipes his mouth. “Nothing. Just haven’t seen you inhale food like that in a while.”

“It’s not a practice I like.”

“You trying to make this the shortest date you’ve ever been on?” Justin asks lightheartedly.

Lance chuckles. “No. I was just hungry and the food was good.”

Justin leans his elbow on the table and rests his chin against his hand. “Told you it was fabulous.” He says and then to Lance’s absolutely shock – Justin purses his lips into a kiss, which is followed by a wink.

Lance quickly looks left and right making sure no one saw. When he turns back, Justin is sitting back in the chair with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“You’re nuts.” Lance says. “Anyone could see you.”

“What does it matter?”

Lance stares at him in disbelief. Justin leans forward again, this time both forearms are against the table. “The way I see it is this. We’re out, having a good time. Anyone who would report on us knows our history. In that history, which has been documented by Joey’s own camera or through pictures, we, as a group, fucked around. There was touching, tickling, hamming it up for the camera.”

Justin shrugs and falls back into the chair. “No one is going to think we are on a date even if we’re seen flirting. It will take months before anyone catches on.”

Lance blinks. “Months?” Lance shakes his head and reaches for his beer but remembers that it’s empty. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“You haven’t?”

“I have, but I... I didn’t think you did, I figured you would decide it wasn’t worth the risk and things would revert back to normal. Whatever normal is anymore.”

The waiter appears out of nowhere and Lance actually starts at his voice. “Will there be anything else?”

“No thank you.” Justin says. “Just the check when you have a moment.”

And just like that the creepy quiet waiter is gone again.

Months. Lance really didn’t think Justin was that serious about dating him. Apparently Lance is wrong. He doesn’t like being wrong. Somehow this is Joey’s fault. Lance can blame Joey for anything because when something shocks Lance most of the time Joey is involved.

“Ready?” Justin’s voice breaks into his thoughts.

“What?”

“I’ve paid. We can leave now unless there was something else you wanted.”

“No no, I’m good. Thanks.” Lance says and stands up. They leave through the front door, just like they did when they arrived and no one snapped their picture and the world didn’t end. Odd.

The date was nice. Perfect. Lance sits in one of his chairs in the living room enjoying the evening and drinking his beer. He had some with dinner, not too much, just enough. Like Golidlocks. He’s enjoying his light buzz when Justin interrupts.

“Are you always this slow when it comes to sex?” Justin asks straightforwardly.

“No. If I want to get laid, I don’t have a problem.” Lance shifts in the chair so he’s sitting up straighter.

“Why then? Why aren’t we having sex when I’ve done my best to court you?” Justin isn’t whining but it’s close. And Justin has been courting him, although Lance thinks it’s more like seducing what with the soft porn car wash.

Lance smiles and all the feelings he pushes down on a daily basis float to his head where he can indulge them. He stares toward the window but he can’t really see out. Lance is hoping that Justin will become bored or get tired of waiting, but Lance knows that Justin has reached the point of no-nonsense. He’s only ever this blunt when he’s done playing games. Lance hears Justin sigh and then shift on the couch he’s lying on.

Lance remembers telling Joey, nothing risked nothing gained and Lance knows Justin’s been trying. All the dinners, walking the dogs. The little things that Lance always wanted from someone that’s in his life everyday.

He takes a big breath before saying, “Afraid you’re going to change your mind, even though you say you won’t.”

“What can I do to convince you,” Justin asks seriously.

“I don’t know,” Lance says and shrugs. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

“I was a kid. We both were.” Justin objects quickly and then continues. “And it wasn’t... it was harder then. We were young, starting out and there were people watching all the fucking time.”

“People will watch now. They will still form opinions and affect our life.”

“Yeah, maybe. But we’re not kids anymore and I know what I’m doing and what I want. Who I want. And I’m not going to let you walk away from this just because you’re afraid. I’m afraid too.”

“You’re afraid.” Lance states but he isn’t convinced.

Justin’s voice is lower when he speaks again. “Yeah, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you’ll be the one to break me. But I’m willing to try because it’s worth it. You’re worth it.” After a moments pause, there is a soft. “Am I worth it to you?”

Lance sighs feeling guilty. “Justin, it’s not that easy.”

“It can be.” Justin sits up on the couch. “I was scared. Hell, I’m still scared but I’m older and wiser and I’m not giving into it this time.”

Lance sees Justin nod as though he’s happy with what he’s saying. Lance swallows a mouthful of beer, places the bottle on the floor and approaches Justin. Justin doesn’t move but watches carefully. Lance braces his left hand on the back of the couch and his right on the arm and leans towards Justin until their lips meet.

The kiss is tentative for only a moment before they are pressing against each other with force. Their tongues tangle and Lance feels Justin’s hand on his neck, pulling him forward.

Lance pulls away with a gasp. “Let’s go somewhere more comfortable.”

Justin groans and rolls his eyes but he’s laughing.

Lance stands by the window in his bedroom and admires the view. The sun is bright, the trees are green, the sky is blue. Lance happily sighs and thumbs open his cell phone and calls Joey.

“Hey Lance.” Is Joey’s greeting.

“Joey. How’s it going?” Lance says in a soft voice.

“Good. Something wrong?”

Lance smiles. “No. Just wanted to share how clichéd this all is and how right you are so you can gloat and be smug over the phone instead of in person.”

“Oh yeah, what about?” Lance can hear the answering smile.

“This. I’m calling you from my bedroom – the morning after – and Justin is still in bed. The sheets are artfully draped over half his ass and one leg is exposed. The sunlight is pouring through the window to highlight it all in gold.”

“And you thought of me?”

Laughing lowly Lance says, “No. I came out of the bathroom to his, compared it to a movie and the happy ending then thought of your smug face and decided to call and add some reality to the saccharine scene.”

“Jesus you’re cynical.”

Lance leans against the armoire and looks at Justin all spread out on the bed. “Yep.”

“And you expect to have a movie career?” Joey says and then does something that sounds like giving someone a raspberry.

He chuckles and watches the lines of muscles on Justin’s back as he shifts.

“I still don’t understand why you called, but go back to bed. Enjoy and stop worrying. You can’t control everything.”

“mmmm. ‘Kay. Later.” Lance is non-committal about the control part. He wants to control it so it ends the way he wants. Or, rather, doesn’t end. He flips the phone shut and leaves it on top of the dresser and walks to the bed.

Justin is awake and looking at him. “You tell Joey everything?”

“No.” Lance says as he climbs into bed. Justin shifts closer and puts his head on Lance’s shoulder and drapes one arm and leg over Lance.

“You’re not rebound boy,” Justin says softly. He kisses Lance’s neck and settles against him.

Lance puts his hand on Justin’s head and remembers curls flipping through his fingers, but now just rubs the fuzz he finds. The same but different and Lance is going to risk believing in a different ending. As it is, who can resist being seduced by Justin Timberlake?