Inochi

By Linda

Chapter 15

~No.~

I'd never seen Kyo enraged before, and it was truly a formidable sight, his homely face set into a terrible rictus of anger. He was every bit as big as the ookami, and bore down on us like a ferocious spring storm. The ookami's eyes glinted bright yellow, and he bared his fangs at the challenge. Lightly, like a dancer, he stepped aside from Kyo's initial rush in a swirl of grey-black hair and curving plumed tail, and his hand slid to the sword hilt at his waist.

After witnessing the slaughter in the courtyard, I knew what would happen; it was inevitable, as day follows night. Driven by panic, by fear for Kyo, I scrambled to my feet---oh, too slow, too slow. Time seemed to become sluggish, as slow as the flow of thick honey, and every moment, every heartbeat dragged on forever. Fluid motion stuttered, became individual still pictures. Sound faded away, and left me in a world of nightmarish silence.

Kyo skidded to a stop, and brought the pitchfork around. The ookami drew his blade in a fluid motion, the steel emerging from the wooden sheath, the sun shining brightly, beautifully off the curved edge. Kyo raised the pitchfork again, wickedly sharp tines aimed at the ookami's midsection. His powerful thighs bunched as he sprang forward again, seeking to impale the ookami, his face set with determination and hatred.

The ookami raised his blade, muscles rippling in his bare arms beneath his dusky skin, his own face set and as hard as the sword he held. Kyo's clumsy charge placed him between me and the ookami.

Bright, bright, was the fall of the blade.

The head of the pitchfork spun as the blow of the sword slashed it away, sailing away just like Soujuro's hands had after Kin'iro sliced them cleanly from his arms. Kyo looked shocked as he skidded again to a stop, as he brought up the handle of the headless pitchfork, then his brows lowered. I saw the moment he decided it made no difference and scrambled forward yet again.

The ookami's body moved in a smooth, muscular arc, almost beautiful to watch as the momentum of his swing carried him around. Kyo recovered, and his powerful shoulder muscles bunched as he brought up the handle of the pitchfork to bring it down on the ookami's head.

Kyo came to a sudden stop, and his big body lurched backwards as the ookami lunged forward.

I knew it had ended when I saw the tip of the katana emerge from between his shoulderblades, stained scarlet with his blood.

The blade twisted, enlarging the wound, and then disappeared as the ookami jerked it from Kyo's body.

Surprising, really, how hot the blood was as it sprayed over my chest and hair, thick and dark red and smelling of death. The heavy coppery scent filled my nose, and too late, I raised an arm to shield my face from the splatter.

"No, no, ~no~!"

My own screams shattered the bubble of eerie silence enveloping us. I'd never stopped moving from the moment I'd seen Kyo's charge, but it was as if sucking mud surrounded me, and I simply could not run fast ~enough~.

I skidded around Kyo, fell to the ground, and scrambled back to my feet. He stood there, one big hand on the gaping wound in his chest, trying to hold back the pulses of dark blood. It was useless; there was so much of it. Slowly he raised his head, and looked at me, terribly surprised.

"Inochi?" He sounded so hurt, so betrayed.

No, not Kyo. Please, Inari, not Kyo.

His brown eyes raised, looked behind me, over my shoulder, and widened. Suddenly, his bloody hand shot out, grabbed my robe, and twisted us both in an awkward movement as he tried to put me behind him. I fell against him, slammed into him by a fist to my flank.

No, not a fist, I realized breathlessly as I tried to move, and could not. I looked down at the bloody steel that joined us, slicing from my body into his, through me and into him. I blinked, not believing what I saw though I knew my eyes didn't lie.

Odd, how it hadn't hurt, not really.

It didn't even hurt much when the ookami cursed and pulled the blade free.

Kyo drew a deep breath, and it sounded very wet and bubbly. His dark eyes were still wide with astonishment, and then his expression faded to sorrow.

"Sorry, Inochi," he gasped and, like a tree falling, his body toppled forward, bearing me down with him. I hit the ground hard, Kyo sprawled diagonally atop me, limp and heavy. The force of the fall, and Kyo's weight, knocked the breath from my body.

This just couldn't be happening. My mind could not accept it; it was as if I watched some horrible story about someone else played out before me. I whooped for air and caught it, just barely; crushed to the ground, arms and legs trapped beneath him, I couldn't move. The heavy, cloying scent of blood, both mine and his, was overpowering. It was as if I swam in a river of it; it was in my nose and ears and on my tongue; it was the only thing that seemed real.

Trapped beneath Kyo's bulk, I could only watch as the ookami rose above us. His face was darkbright with the passion of battle, and he raised his sword in a two-handed grip. The sun ran bright fingers over the sharp edge. So I was to die now. The greater part of me raged at the unfairness of it, but another part of me felt nothing at all, not even regret.

Helpless, I watched as he stabbed the katana downward. I expected him to plunge it through us both, but instead, he drove the curved point into the back of Kyo's neck with a dull ~thunk~. I watched as his wrists moved in a quick twisting motion, rotating the blade. I heard the wet popping sound as Kyo's bones split and separated, as the spinal cord severed.

And even collared, I felt it when Kyo died.

The ookami pulled his sword free, and with a flick of his his wrist, flung the blood from the blade, and resheathed it. He kicked Kyo's body off me, and pulled me away from the spreading red pool. For a heartbeat or three, I could not believe I still lived, that he hadn't killed me along with Kyo. But the pain that blossomed in my side convinced me I still lived, and my paralysis broke. I fought, kicking and punching and trying to bite, but he merely laughed at my efforts.

He slammed me to the ground and rose over me, dark and malevolent. His ragged grey-black hair swirled around us, seeming to blot out the blue sky like a stormcloud. He snarled at me, showing very long, very sharp yellowish canines, longer than a kitsune's. I struggled harder, and managed to kick him in the belly. He grunted, then grabbed my ankle and twisted until I felt the bones grate together, dangerously close to breaking. Hot pain centered beneath his fingers and raced up my leg, driving short, sharp cry from my throat.

And then he was atop me, wrenching my leg hard enough to the side that I yelled, his body heavy and hard. His breath washed hotly over my face, and then he went for my throat. Horrified, I went limp at the razored prick of his teeth cutting into my skin just above the collar. Something elemental within me turned over, and I went absolutely still in submission, somehow knowing if I made one single move, he'd rip out my throat.

When he saw I wouldn't move, he pulled back, and I felt blood slither down both sides of my throat; he lapped up the drops, his tongue wet and hot. I shuddered, but remained still, frozen into my submission by something---some instinct---I didn't understand. My mind raced; thoughts spun like autumn leaves in the wind, but my body had disconnected from my will, and I lay as I'd fallen, open and vulnerable. The ookami sat back on his heels, and roughly spread my thighs. His face was intent and hungry, and his tongue flicked out to gather a drop of my blood from his lip. My robes clung to me, drenched and heavy and stinking with blood, but it didn't seem to matter to him at all.

My ankle throbbed and ached, and my left side burned as if a fire had sprung up within my flesh, but it seemed far away as terror rose up within me, overwhelming everything else. He ran his big hands up my thighs, pushing my wet robe away until I lay bared below the waist. My genitals tightened up against my body and I gasped in fear and humiliation. I knew what he would do now, and I could do nothing to stop him, held solidly in place by that overpowering drive to submit to someone bigger and stronger and more dominant. I wanted to look away from him, to close my eyes and distance myself from this, wanted to beg him not to do this to me. But I could not do the former, and I would bite my tongue in two before I'd do the latter.

"It's been a long time since I've had a pleasure slave," he said with a slow grin. "This should feel really good."

My hands clenched into fists where they lay as I'd flung them, and my whole body shook as if with fever. I could hear the quick, panicky rasp of my breath, and my heart beat so quickly in my chest that it hurt. The ookami was hard, and big; his erection pressed fiercely against the front of his pants. He caressed and stroked himself for a moment before his fingers went to the drawstring tie. He grinned ferociously down at me. "If you're really good, I'll find a way to break the collar and take you back with me, boy."

A blue-silver flash cut across my vision and resolved into a sword's blade. The ookami suddenly went very still; the razored edge lay directly against his throat. My eyes tracked up the blade to a pale-scarred hand, and up the hand to a bare, muscular arm; over a broad shoulder and up a long neck to an ageless face set in deadly seriousness. Gold-green eyes gleamed beneath a ragged fringe of hair the same color as the full, chestnut-colored tail that flicked against his long legs. Kitsune.

"I don't think I'd pull that out, big brother," the kitsune said easily. "And I really don't think I'd be planning on taking this one with you."

"Fuck off, Raiha. I saw him first. He's mine." Brave words from someone with a blade to his throat, especially when the kitsune's wrist flexed, ever so slightly. The blade bit into the ookami's dusky skin, and blood pearled along the edge.

"I don't think so, brother," Raiha said, his tone still friendly. "I think I'd reconsider. Jussai's claimed this one already. I'm merely protecting what is his."

A growl rumbled like thunder in the ookami's broad chest, his ears lay back, and his yellow eyes narrowed. "You'd go against one of your brothers for a human?"

"I'd go against you in almost any instance, Eishi. I don't like you, whether you be human or fur-brother." The kitsune's mouth curved into a smile that had little to do with humor or friendliness. "But in this case, I'm giving you a break. If you take this one, Jussai will turn you inside out---literally. I've seen him do it...very nasty. So back off and live. I'm certain there are others inside just as young and good to look at."

Eishi considered a moment, and Raiha's hand moved, pressing the blade a fraction deeper. I felt it the moment Eishi submitted, when he lost dominance, and my odd submission broke, freeing me again. In rage for what he'd done to Kyo, and what he'd tried to do to me, I drew back my uninjured leg and drove my heel as hard as I could into his groin.

The ookami howled and clutched himself as I scrambled away, favoring my ankle. I heard Raiha laugh, and say, "Well, perhaps not, now."

I knelt beside Kyo again, brushed my hand over his shaggy hair, and closed his eyes, open and staring vacantly at the sky. Sorrow threatened to overwhelm me, and the rage I'd felt still stirred within me. Of all the people to die, Kyo had deserved it the least. I'd never known anyone so gentle, so kind; he had always been good to me. Warm wetness streaked down my cheek and splashed onto my hand, which still covered his eyes. The tears were pink from the blood on my face and hands.

"Little brother." The kitsune, Raiha, touched my shoulder. I shrugged him off angrily, and he responded by seizing the back of my robe and lifting me easily from the ground, like a cat carries a kitten. "He's dead, and you can't help him." His voice was hard and uncompromising. "Mourn him later---we need to go now."

Raiha half-carried, half dragged me across the courtyard. Grieving, furious, I tried to kick and bite, but with only one good leg and my side still bleeding, making me weaker, my struggles didn't slow him in the least. He dumped me unceremoniously at Jussai's feet.

"Are you certain this is the one? I pulled him from beneath the ookami Eishi, and just in time, too."

Jussai looked down at me, his green eyes running over my bloody, bedraggled appearance, a little light of alarm in his eyes, though it didn't make it to his calm, still face. "It looks as if someone gutted him. Is he injured?"

Raiha's nose twitched as he sniffed. "Some of it is his...most is human blood. Someone tried to protect him, and was killed for the effort. Eishi was going to kill both of them, and the other twisted in time to save this one from a killing blow. I don't think he's injured as badly as it looks."

Something seemed to snap within me. So much anger, so much rage, so much sorrow---it all welled up within me like floodwaters after a storm. I couldn't contain it anymore, and I really didn't want to try. I struggled to my feet, one arm wrapped about myself, fingers pressing closed the long slash wound in my side, my weight shifting to balance on my uninjured ankle.

My heart beat almost painfully fast within my chest, and something searingly hot curled within my belly. I couldn't seem to get enough air, or it seemed too thin to sustain me. Everything spun sickeningly for a moment, but I shook my head, determined, and my vision cleared.

"You will ~not~," I gasped out. "You will not talk about me as if I'm not even here. As if I'm stupid. As if I were not a man."

They both looked at me as if I'd grown another head, and the anger burned hotter and higher; it licked at the base of my spine, raced up to batter at the base of my brain. Years of ill-treatment at the hands of others suddenly poured through me, chased closely by submerged anger and pent-up resentment. "I am a man. I am a ~free~ man. I am not a slave!"

I felt the scripts writhing against the wards, felt them tightening, sending warning shocks racing along my arms and legs, jabbing deep within my belly. But my rage roared even higher as I gasped for air, and then...

...and then the gates within my mind slammed open. Power tore out of that locked away place, blazed along every nerve ending, battered at the wards that held me helpless. The wards tightened one last time, and then with five audible pops, their pressure eased abruptly as they snapped and fell to the ground, curled into little twists of burned metal.

I folded into myself, clutching at my side, and Raiha put out a hand to touch me, perhaps to steady me. I slapped it away roughly, overwhelmed by the pulsing energy that boiled within my blood, that snapped at the edges of my thoughts. I heard the curse whispering to me, crooning a song of destruction, feeding the rage within me.

And I listened to it.

It leapt within me, and careless of the consequences, I let it free. It burned up my spine and stabbed into my brain, and my vision spun again for a moment as it took up residence there, as something seemed to nudge me aside. Oddly, my perspective shifted, and it seemed that the power took on a life of its own, and I could only watch from the side; I had no command of it any longer. I felt displaced, and vaguely panicky that I couldn't seem to control the movements of my hands, the words that tumbled from my mouth.

The hikaru fluttered before me, and Jussai seemed to swim into my vision.

"Stop. Stop it, now." His low voice rose even as his own hands came up to shape and mold his own power.

My mouth laughed at him. I felt my ki-wind rise and swirl about me, plucking at my cold, blood-sodden robe, tugging at my long dark hair. Small lightnings seemed to crackle along my nerves, dance over my skin. The wild part of me exulted even as my mind---as myself---fought to regain control.

"Ore wa...ore wa dohatsutenwotsuku," I said. Simply saying that I was filled with hatred gave it strength and form. The wildness reached for it, absorbed it, grew stronger. I recognized the patterns my hands wove, recognized the building of cold, cold power. It was the Rekka no Tenmou.

“Nikushimi.” Hatred.

“Shuurai.” Lightning strike.

“Okibi.” Blazing fire.

My eyes found the ookami Eishi, and the power found a focus and coalesced in the palm of my right hand, a crackling globe of energy. As if he felt my intent, he froze into place, his yellow eyes growing wide. His sword, his strength, was useless against the power that rose within me. I bared my fangs, and my hair whipped all about me in my ki wind, like a live thing. Jussai's energy built as well; his aura glowed dark purple, and swelled and pulsed as his mouth formed the words of a spell, as his hands and fingers flashed as he wove magic of his own.

"Rekka," I said, and my voice seemed to have a strange sort of echo, as if someone else spoke the words as I did. Heaven's fire gathered, colder than ice, colder than winter, colder than anything, so cold it burned. "Rekka no Tenmou!"

At the same instant, Jussai's head dipped a fraction, and his eyes glowed eeriely green beneath the ragged white fringe of his hair. The hikaru cycled through more colors than I could name, and Jussai's shouted words, "Ore wa tokimaku kodate!" seemed to blend with mine.

I drew back my arm and flung the power out, throwing it at Eishi, and the wildness within me exulted at the killing energy I released. But even as I threw it, I felt the shimmer of Jussai's power rising up before me. The spell-born power left my fingertips, and splattered against a wall of energy that he pulled up between us. Lightning crackled and flashed as my magic met his, as the white flames of the Rekka no Tenmou licked along the pale violet of his shield, seeking an exit, seeking a way to break free and consume Eishi. It climbed up the wall of the shield, and arched over me, and in that moment, I realized that he'd enclosed me in a bubble of his power, and mine had no way of escape.

The...the thing...inside me shrieked in outrage. I put my hands out and spread my fingers, pushing against the shield, and Jussai's power crawled up my arms, made every hair stand up, and made me twitch like a horse shooing away flies. I couldn't break through, and it seemed to pull the strength of the energy from me. I pulled away, and staggered; my ankle wouldn't support me, and I went down to one knee. I could feel the Rekka no Tenmou arcing from one place on the shield to the next, the bolts zipping so closely to me I could feel their coldness. But they were weakening, even as I did.

The wildness rose up again, desperate, but in that moment of weakness, I seized control from the thing, the curse, within me. I could hear myself saying, "No, no, no," over and over again, and I tried to subdue the power. Helplessly I looked up at Jussai. "Please...help me make it go away!"

His lean figure, clad in black robes, shimmered and wavered behind the shield, his dark brows drawn down over his light-colored eyes. The hikaru flew in a bright arc around his white hair, shifting colors almost too quickly for the eye to follow. I wasn't certain he believed me, and I beseeched him with my eyes to believe me, to believe I couldn't close the gate within my mind.

I lunged forward and pressed myself against the violet shield. It had sucked power from me before, and the wildness had pulled back instinctively from it---perhaps if I deliberately leaned into it, it would pull enough of the power from me that I could shut it down. The other part of me shrieked and tried to pull me back, but I had firm control now, and pushed it aside, leaning into the barrier.

Oh, it hurt, hurt as if scored by the teeth and claws of a hundred of the little brown forest demons. It hurt as if I hung helpless in Kuroda's chains, licked by the lash of his whip. But I could separate myself from the pain, and exhulted in victory. I was myself again; the wildness within me faded and disappeared, leaving me alone in my mind. The Rekka no Tenmou stuttered and died with a final crackle of energy.

Jussai's shield collapsed, and I pitched forward. I'd have hit the ground if Jussai hadn't caught me in time. Weak beyond belief, I lay boneless in his arms. He smelled of ozone, as the air did after a lightning storm. He was so warm.

"Are you that stupid?" His low voice rumbled in his chest, against my ear. "Were you trying to commit suicide?"

"I won," I said softly. "It's gone."

The hikaru spiraled down and landed on his sleeve. It looked very bright and beautiful against the dark material, its naked, genderless body glowing softly, like a firefly. It peered at me with huge violet eyes like Genichi's. Dragonfly wings fluttered a moment, but it didn't take flight; rather, it leaned in closer, and one small hand reached out to smooth away a lock of my hair, matted with Kyo's blood.

"One now, but more than one," it said in its soft, strangely echoing voice before whirring away.

With a grunt, Jussai stood, holding me up. He was strong; I was nearly his size and weight. I could do nothing to help him, as weak as a newborn hatchling. My head lay against his shoulder, my arms limp at my sides. It was so tempting to close my eyes and let myself drift away, to let my spirit slip from this aching shell of flesh, but I would not. I still lived, and would not die without a fight.

I heard the thud of hooves, and a horse's nicker. Jussai shifted my weight and turned. Raiha sat astride a big brown horse. The wind caught his chestnut hair and he shook his head to clear it from his eyes.

"Time to go, mage. Mitsukane-sama's troops will be atop us if we do not."

"Here. Take him. I'm going to ride with Kin'iro---he's hurt more than anyone realizes."

Raiha blinked. "After all that, you want me to take him?"

"Yes, that's what I said," Jussai said impatiently. "He won't cause any more problems, I promise. He has no control over his power, and this has drained him, left him unable to harm anyone. Take him back to the compound for me. I'm sure he can be of use to us."

Raiha stared down at us for a moment longer, then sighed. "Enma's Hells. Give me the damn boy."

He leaned down from the saddle and took me from Jussai's arms as if I weighed nothing. Settling me across his lap, laying my head against his chest took only a moment. I had no strength to protest, no power to fight. I was so very, very tired.

"What if he dies on the way?" Raiha asked.

Jussai's green eyes glinted. "He won't. Will you, boy?"

"No," I said softly. "I won't." I licked my lips, tasted blood. I remembered what Raiha had said about Jussai's claim upon me. "I don't belong to you...don't belong to anyone."

Jussai's wide mouth twitched upward in amusement. "We'll see, won't we?" He looked up at Raiha. "I'll see you again at the compound. Take care."

He turned in a swirl of silver hair and black robes. I watched as he strode up to a horse and mounted up. I had a glimpse of Kin'iro, almost doubled up in the saddle, looking so pale that I wondered if he would live. His ki fluttered instead of pulsing strong and true. Jussai reached out and touched his shoulder, and I thought I saw some of the strength of his ki bleed into Kin'iro's own, and blend, suffusing Kin'iro with a little of his power.

Raiha wheeled the horse about, and then we were in motion. Just before we came to the gate, I turned my head slightly and saw Haruna in the distance, her long grey braids blowing in the wind. Curled against Raiha's solid warmth, I couldn't quite see her face, but her scarlet ki pulsed strongly against my consciousness. I sent her a thought of apology for Kyo's death, for the death all around us, and thought that perhaps I felt her ki stroke along mine, like the touch of her hand over my hair. I wasn't certain of it, but it comforted me somehow.

Then we were through the gate, and the shreds of Tetsu-sensei's power tickled along my skin for a bare moment, and were gone. I was free of the wards, free of Hamanari's place at last. Even if I died, I would die a free man.

I could feel blood seeping sluggishly from the wound in my side, stealing my strength. It hurt, but seemed so dull and far away I could almost overlook it. I curled into Raiha's warmth; he smelled of kitsune musk and sweat. His ki was strong and heated me like a fire on a cold night. I took refuge within it, and let my eyes close.

I was a free man. I would not die, not yet, when I had just gained my freedom once more. The weariness overwhelmed me, and with a small soft sigh, I let myself slip into the welcoming darkness.

Chapter Sixteen

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